Let's be clear about one thing - I'm a good dog. There are some things that a good dog should be entitled to, and going out to peepee undisturbed is one of them. I'm sorry when I wake up Mom at 4:00 AM because I can't wait any longer, but even then I should be able to step into the yard without getting dive-bombed by bugs.
And not just any bug. These are big fu... oops. I'm not supposed to say that word because I'm only five. Anyway, these are big bugs. Like bigger than me! And ugly! And loud! Don't they sleep?
Well, okay. Not really bigger than me - but BIG!
So here's what happened. I had to go so I nudged at Mom until she woke up. There's a light on the patio that comes on when I trip the sensor. I like this because, hey, in the country. Dark. How would YOU like to walk into the grass in the dark with bare paws? You wouldn't. Anyway, the light came on and BAM!! About six of these big bugs hit me!
I did not like this.
Mom says it's because they got confused and thought they could mate with me. Um... what?
Nooo. I'm not that kind of guy!
I finished up and hot-footed it back through the screen to the safety of my patio. We watched them swarm all over the light until it went out. Then Mom warned me the same thing will happen every time I go out to peepee after dark until all those weird bugs have mated, laid their eggs, and died. The whole thing takes about six weeks.
Moving to Montana sounds like a really good idea.