Sunday, August 5, 2018

He's not amusing

Would you like to take a guess as to where my toys are stored? 

Mom's mom got that basket for her a long time ago. Mom used to keep magazines in it back when the only magazines you could get were printed on paper. Now she gets them on her Kindle. 

When Dad got his new lift chair, we decided it was time to store my crate. I sleep with Mom and I'm mature enough to stay loose in the house when Mom and Dad go away. They never go away for very long. Mom has a strict four-hour rule that says I'm never left alone in the house for more than four hours at a time. 

When Mom took my crate to the shed she needed a place to store all my toys. She put them in the basket since it has a lid. Now that skanky cat has decided to "guard" my stuff. 

This is not copacetic. In fact, I do not like this at all. It's MY stuff. 

I'm warning you, cat. You'd better be careful. If you mess with my stuff, I'll hide all your little catnip mousies you have strewn all over my house. 

I'm Deuce. I'm not going to take this lying down. 

Oh, yeah. One more thing, Loki. I heard Mom tell Dad the appointment is made for your snip-snip. I'm going laugh until I howl when you get home from THAT!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2018

Rain, rain, go away (but it's better than snow)

What's with all the rain? Water is fine if I can splash around in it but rain sucks. I can't even relax on my sunporch. The rug is wet. Water drips off the umbrella. 

I must be sighing out loud. Every so often Mom reaches down, gives me a pat, and says, "I know, baby." We haven't had a decent walk since forever! 

Mom says we just have to live with the rain, that some summers are like this. Dad says he's glad we're not getting this precipitation in January because it would be snow. 

I'm with Dad. I think the rain is a lot better than snow. I'll just have to learn to play in the rain. After all, it is only water. 

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Bark vs. Growl - I talk to Mom

I might be a dog, but I know how to communicate effectively with my people. I can make a lot of different growls and barks, and I've trained Mom and Dad to hear all the nuances and know what I'm saying. 

There's my "airplane going over" growl. It's really short and quiet. I don't like it when airplanes fly over my head. Mom says there is nothing we can do about it and I should stop complaining. She's probably right but I'm exercising my first amendment rights and expressing myself. 

I have different growls for when deer or fox or crows are in my yard. When I bark and growl, Mom and Dad know more than one critter is around. When I just bark, they know whatever it is is close to our house. Then there's a different bark when someone is coming back the lane. That's a fast and loud bark.  When I'm outside I talk to the neighborhood dogs. That's a loud and long bark with a pause to hear a reply before I do it again. I'm the local boss. Sometimes I tell everyone to shut up and be quiet and they listen to me. Mom thinks that's funny.

When I bark in the house, Mom tells me to use my inside voice. I don't think so. Just like I know words and phrases Mom and Dad know growls and barks. It's a pretty good system. 

But sometimes I just need to tell Mom something special like how much I love her. Face-to-face is best for that. Mom says I'm special.

I'm Deuce. Of course I'm special! 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Dad's new ramp

Back when I was a little guy, Dad used to take me out on the front porch. He'd have a cup of coffee and I'd play. I had to remember not to fall off the edge and when I forgot, it was not a good thing. I bounced better when I was a little guy. Dad kept an eye on me and would tell me when I was too close to the edge but I didn't listen very well back in those days. It was better on the weekends. Mom would grab me. She's always been faster than Dad. 

Then last summer, Dad couldn't make it out on the porch any longer. That made Mom and me sad. How can we be a pack if one member can't join in? Mom says people don't realize how many simple pleasures Dad has lost because he can't walk now. That's why he has the fancy chair on wheels with a motor. 

This past Saturday morning, Cousin Dave came up and built Dad a ramp! I was unhappy because Mom made me stay inside. I like Cousin Dave and he likes me. I wanted to watch what he and Mom were doing.  It was a good thing I was inside with Dad because they found a wasp's nest and they got stung. I wouldn't like getting stung, especially on the nose. 

Dad likes the ramp. He zips up and down like he's been doing it for years. I'm not so sure about it. I guess it's good for Dad, but I can jump onto the porch, even with my bad cruciate. (That's why I sit with my leg tucked under me now.)

Mom says I'll get used to it. I guess I will even though I think it's a bit weird for dogs. 

I'm Deuce. I know how to go with the flow. 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Was I ever really this little?

Mom was organizing the folder of my stuff she has on her computer this morning. She found a baby picture of me. 

Was I ever really THIS little?????

Monday, July 2, 2018

Now he's attacking me from under my bed!

Drat that cat! 

This morning he got under Mom's bed and when I walked past, he attacked me! 

I was minding my own business and WHAM! 

Mom laughed so I'm not talking to her. She even took a picture of me with my head under the bed looking for Loki. 

I really have to have a talk with Mom about that darn cat. 

I'm Deuce. I'm a Labrador Retriever, not a pin cushion. 

Sunday, July 1, 2018

There's bad news and even badder news

I've experienced a life-altering injury. Mom had to take me to the emergency vet this afternoon. I've partially torn a ligament in my left hind leg. No more running. No more jumping. No more Frisbee. No more ball. Worst of all, I made Mom cry. 

It's been bothering me off and on for a bit. Mom and Dad have been watching me and how I move and walk. Today was the worst, though. It really hurt today and Mom could tell. 

I can still go for walks with Mom. I think if I couldn't that would be the worst thing of all. The lady vet said there's nothing to do right now except to take care of the inflammation and the pain. So Mom says that's what we'll do.

What has Mom really upset is the medicine the vet gave her - Carprofen. She looked it up on the Internet and it can make me really sick. She's afraid to give it to me. My regular vet says baby aspirin can hurt my stomach. It hasn't yet but Mom is really careful about how I take it. 

But this Carprofen can make me bleed, too. It can damage my liver and kidneys. It can cause urinary incontinence and urinary tract infections. I might get diarrhea and I've had that before and I didn't like it much. Carprofen can give me pancreatitis which could kill me. And what is acute tubular necrosis? Isn't that when something inside me dies??? And here's a kicker - Labrador Retrievers make up 25% of all the adverse hepatic reactions to Carprofen. 

Hey! I'm a Labrador Retriever. This is not a good thing for my liver! 

Carprofen used to be given to humans but they had to stop that. What's that tell you? And Carprofen and Rimadyl are the same drug under different names. I think that's sneaky of some drug manufacturer to try and confuse human parents. 

I'm glad Mom took the time to research that drug. We'll figure out what I can and can't do to have fun. Mom and Dad are smart that way. We already play a lot of indoor games that keep me engaged and some of them we can do outside. I can still walk with Mom, no problem. And I have Loki to play with now, too. 

My days of being a Frisbee athlete might be over for the most part but I'm still Deuce. I can still do the most important thing of all and that's be Mom's best dog ever. 


Saturday, June 23, 2018

This little bugger was not what I expected!

I have a kitten! It turns out his name is Loki which is the name of a Norse god who got into all sorts of mischief and misadventure. Mom and Dad brought him home last night. Nooooobody slept last night but that's another story. Right now, I'm a little worried and sad. I don't think Loki likes me.

Mom says he has to settle in and get to know me. I heard her tell Dad that Loki only weighs three pounds. That must not be very much because he's a little guy. 

I guess I'm a little jealous that he can sit on Mom's lap. Dad's, too. I can't do that. I'm too big. But Mom made sure to invite me up on the loveseat with her. She didn't give Loki any chicken liver, either. She says that's all for me. 

Mom says Loki has to stay inside for a long, long time. He can't even go outside on the patio with us unless he's in a crate. Apparently, those skanky foxes could eat him! I don't think I'd like that to happen. Mom has a plan for Mr. Mummert to build Loki a cat house outside the guest room window. That way she can open the window and he can enjoy getting out in his very own screened enclosure for some fresh air. She saw the plans on Pinterest, whatever that is. 

I suppose having Loki here will be okay as long as he remembers one very important thing. 

I'm Deuce! I was here first and I knew Mom and Dad before he did. That means they loved ME first and longer. And don't you forget it, cat!

Oh, yeah. Hey Loki! when Mom starts talking about the snip-snip, I'm going to laugh at you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Is it okay to be suspicious?

I think Mom is up to something. She's been on the phone with some lady and she keeps talking about

Hey, Mom. I know what a kitty-kitty is. I remember. What gives? What did you mean when you told Dad you were approved for a fur baby?

I'm watching, Mom. I will figure it out no matter how coy you try to be with me. You might as well come straight out with it and tell me what all the whispering is about this coming Friday.

I'm Deuce. I'm a smart dog. 

Saturday, June 16, 2018

I was tricked!

I love my truck! The backseat space is all mine. I even have my own go-bag. When Mom and Dad ask if I want to go for a ride, I'm right there! They can't get my door open fast enough. Sometimes I even get to take a nap in my truck when we're not going anywhere. If I ask nicely enough, Mom will open my door and leave it open for me. I can jump in and out when I feel like it.

But last Tuesday evening, Mom tricked me.

She meant to do it, too. It was deliberate.

She asked me if I wanted to go for a ride so of course I said yes.

They took me to the vet for a shot. They KNOW I do not like needles.

I jumped right up into my spot and off we went. I didn't realize until we got there I was going to the vet. It was awful. There were a bunch of other dogs there and instead of getting to meet them, Mom and I had to sit in this little room. For the record, I have no plans to eat little hairy ugly dogs for a snack. I've never tasted a little dog, but I bet they're stringy. I bet they don't taste nearly as good as the freshly cooked chicken livers Mom has in the fridge for me.

The vet poked me with a needle, poked and pulled on my left hind leg again, and didn't even pet my head. And those Amazon girls made me get on the scales. I'm down to eighty-four pounds. I was up to eighty-seven a few months ago. I knew once the weather was better I'd be able to exercise and get svelte again.

I suppose I'll forgive Mom for tricking me. She's just trying to take good care of me and keeping my shots up-to-date helps keep me healthy. She's a good mom. 

I'm Deuce. Next time I hear the word 'ride', I'll be more careful.