Saturday, November 21, 2020

I guess I have to put up with him

Loki the cat

It's getting colder at night, and while I'm all warm and toasty in the big bed, that idiot Loki likes to sleep outside. In the cold. 

Okay, so he's on a nice chair inside the screened-in patio, but that chair is not as comfy as the bed. If it was, Mom would sleep in it and she doesn't. Mom's not stupid, you know. 

November is the time of year it starts to get cold here. There's less daylight and even less bright sunshine. Like today. I know the sun is up there because I can feel it on my black fur, but I can't see it because of the gray clouds. Those clouds won't stop me and Mom from going for a walk, though. 

Back to Loki, he slept inside all night the other night. And where did he want to sleep? On the bed with me, Mom, and Dad. I did not like this. He sleeps on Mom's feet and then she kicks ME to make me move so she has more room. I say NO FAIR. This should not be my problem. Loki needs to find another place to sleep. There are lots of other nice places, even another bed! 

Mom says if any little mouse snuck into the house it's "dead meat." Boy, that sounds nasty. I like meat but mouse? Nooooo. If that skanky cat nibbles it, that's one thing. I am a dog. I prefer BACON! 

I guess it's okay that Loki is sleeping in the house again. I don't want him to turn into a popsicle on the patio. That would make Mom sad. I guess I'll just have to put up with him sleeping on the bed. But I'm warning him - if Mom kicks ME, I'm going to knock him off the edge onto the floor whether Mom and Dad like it or not. 

I'm Deuce. I was here FIRST!

Friday, November 6, 2020

I'm a star! I did another book cover!

I'm a star! Mom always told me that and now she made me one - again! 

Okay, I think when she told me I was a star she really meant I was one of the lights in the night sky for her, but that was before I posed for book covers. Now lots and lots of people will see me! 

Why is Mom telling me to calm down? This is exciting! 

Okay, maybe not. Not everyone will like this book even though it has my picture on the front. But they'll like MY picture, right Mom? 

And the story is about a black lab - like me!

Wait...what? It's not? 

That's just not right. 

Saturday, October 17, 2020

We match!

I love Saturdays! Mom is home with me and Dad and we get to go for walks together. Mom already had an orange sweatshirt that matches my vest and she told Dad he needed one - so he got one. Now we all match! It's a good thing. 

We had to wait to go on our walk today. First, it was too chilly for Dad to be outside, and then Mom had to finish making apple butter. I don't think I like apple butter but I overheard them talking about having apple butter with pork. Pork! I love, love, love pork! Pork is .... not what I was talking about. Oh, yeah...

It's hunting season and orange is the best color to wear if you go walking in the woods. Now that Dad has an orange hoodie, he really stands out when he's waiting for us. Mom and I could see him through the woods from a long, long way away. 

Matching is good. Be the pack! 

If Mom makes a pumpkin cheesecake this weekend, I KNOW I'll like that better than apple butter!

Friday, October 16, 2020

He's daring me again

 Loki is one weird cat. Sometimes he likes to play, and sometimes he's a nutter. The other day I was napping under Mom's desk while she was working and he strolled into the office and flopped down on the floor and just stared at me.  I mean, he just stared! 

I didn't know what he wanted. He looked like he died or something. I tried to ignore him because he hates that and he'll leave and go do Loki things, but not this time. 

Bet me he was hoping I'd ask Mom to let me out the door so he could pounce on me. He's tricky that way. Mom says he's just being a cat but I say he's being annoying. 

Really, Mom. I'd rather have a puppy to play with. What do you say? Can I have a brother? 


Note from Mom: NO!

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Houston, we have a problem

It started out like any other Saturday morning. Mom and I got up around six, and I went out to do all my outside activities. Mom fixed a cup of coffee, and we trotted back to her office.

And that's when it happened. 

Mom sat in her chair and I sat right in front of her like the good dog I am and batted my eyelashes at her. Then I offered her my paw. This ALWAYS gets me snackies. 

Not today.

The jar was empty. 

That's right, folks. The jar was empty. Mom let the treat jar in the office get empty. 

I know I trained her better than that. And instead of immediately going to remedy the situation, she checked her email! I did not like this at all. So I stared at her and tried to send her a telepathic message, which she didn't get. Now she's writing my blog while I sit here starving. 

That right. STARVING. 

No, I'm not being melodramatic. I want my morning snackies. 

Houston, we have a problem...........

Saturday, October 3, 2020

It's October again

I've learned it's October again. That means it's hunting season again, and I have to wear my orange vest again. I don't really mind it, but I'm glad Mom ordered me a larger size. I'm no longer a pup, but a full-grown he-dog. I'm big, black, and bad. 

Well, not the bad kind of bad because I behave, but the cool kind of bad. Ask any dog on the mountain and they'll tell you. When I bark, they all shut up and listen! Anyway, I'm a big guy and my old vest is a bit snug. Mom says it's a good thing I'm a big guy, even if I am too tall for the breed standard. I'm still a handsome guy. 

Hey! Mom has an orange hoodie but Dad doesn't. Maybe Dad can put my old vest on his chair! He can use it like a flag! That way all the members of the pack can be safe!

Mom's a little stressed these days so we're walking a lot. She's ready to retire but she's worried about a lot of stuff I don't understand, like insurance. I'm a lucky dog because when I have to go to the vet, Mom and Dad just take care of it. Vets are cheaper than doctors. I don't know what an election is, either, because in the pack, Mom's the boss forever. Except when she's at work, then Dad's the boss. 

It'll be fun when she's home all the time because we'll get to walk a lot more. This is a good thing. 

Today we waited until almost noon to leave the house. Mom and I went outside early and it was a bit cold on my paws so I'm glad she waited. And Dad could come along for part of the way, too, once it warmed up. 

We didn't see anything special on our walk today, and that's okay. It's October again and just being outside makes it a good day. 

Sunday, September 27, 2020

It's not green, it's see through

Humans are very confusing, even those in our pack. Mom and Dad did all this talking about a little greenhouse, and today they took it out of the box. Guess what? It's not green at all. It's clear. I can see straight through the sides. 

We had a sort of lazy morning. There were coffee and scones for breakfast - I got a bite from both Mom and Dad. I snoozed while they watched some videos on YouTube, and then we went outside to put the greenhouse up. 

It was pretty easy. I rested in the shade while Dad read the instructions and told Mom which piece went where to build the frame. Then Mom had to get the plastic shell put on over the frame. It looked hard to me, but Mom didn't seem to have any trouble with it. The instructions don't call for it, but Dad's going to add a few screws to make it come apart and go back together in bigger pieces. 

Mom says she's going to plant seeds inside the greenhouse. She sure is having fun with this gardening stuff. I don't know if I like that so much. It's time she could be spending with me, you know. 

Then again, she gave me a bath after the greenhouse was erected. I needed it because I'm really shedding right now. It felt good to have all that fur wash out, and now Mom says I smell sweet again. That's important since I sleep on the bed with her. 

I'm going to hang around and watch what Mom does with this greenhouse because I heard the parents talk about growing food in there, and food is a really good thing. 

I'm Deuce, and that's my plan. 

Saturday, September 26, 2020

It's vest time again

Deuce is well-dressed for fall

Did you know it's now officially autumn? Mom said something about it the other day. Autumn means hunting season and that means Mom and me will dress alike on our walks! Today was the first day since autumn began I got to go into the woods so I had to wear my orange vest. Mom put on her orange sweatshirt, too. People are NOT supposed to be hunting where we walk, but they sneak in anyway. 

We usually go for a long walk on the days Mom doesn't work. I sure hope she finalizes her retirement soon so we can go every day. Every day! I get all excited just thinking about it! 

What was I going to say?

Oh, yeah. I wasn't sure we'd get to go because it's sort of misty and drizzly outside. My first trip outside this morning, about six o'clock, it was sprinkling. Not a good sign for a guy who's eager to run through the woods. But by about ten-ish, there was only a bit of mist and we decided to go, but make it a quick, short walk so we wouldn't get too wet. 

Mom took a long video of our walk. She likes to do that for two reasons. One, she wants to always remember her time with me, and two, it makes us feel like we can bring Dad along. That's important to us. 

I don't mind wearing my vest because it keeps me safe. But I'm a big guy now, and I was just a lanky pup when Mom got me the vest. It's a little snug this year and I swear it's not because I'm eating too much. I'm still svelte! But I am all mature now. Maybe Mom will get me a slightly bigger vest, or at least redo the velcro on this one. 

What'ya say, Mom? How about doing a bit of tailoring for me? 

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Me? Picky?

Sometimes it pays to be a picky eater. I know Labs like me are supposed to be canine garbage disposals, but I'm a very discerning pup.  It makes Mom a little crazy when I refuse to eat. The problem is I can't tell her if my tummy is upset or if I'm just being hard-headed. Here lately, she suspects the latter. 

The other day she found some old ground lamb burger in the freezer and cooked it off. I'd never smelled lamb before, but I was kinda interested. Then she mixed a big spoonful of the lamb in with my dog food and stirred and stirred and stirred until there was no way I could pick out the lamb and leave the chow. I had to eat the whole thing!

Mom's pretty smart. I wonder what I need to do to get lamb all the time?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

**Note from Mom: Dream on black dog. Dream on...

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Tractor Time With Deuce

Deuce helps service the John Deere 1023
Dad works hard to keep my yard looking good. It's not easy for him but he's a stubborn guy. He just keeps chipping away at a project until it's finally finished. Mom and I know he works so hard on our yard because he knows we love our yard. Even that skanky Loki likes our yard. 

Mom and Dad have a big John Deere tractor. They call it the 1023 but I'm not sure what that means. There's another smaller John Deere they call a 370 but it can only mow. I'm a smart dog so I know I don't have to know about the equipment, just keep out of its way when it's moving. 

This summer, Dad's been all hopped up about doing something called a two-hundred-hour service on the 1023. I'm not sure what it means, but I know it's had Mom snorting. She's had to crawl under the tractor and that's not her favorite thing to do. A couple of weeks ago they changed the coolant and the oil. Yesterday, they changed the hydraulic fluid. I learned that's what makes the bucket, backhoe, and snowblower go up and down. 

Or something like that. I'm Deuce. I'm a dog. Mom and Dad talk and I hear the words but sometimes it's pretty boring stuff. All this tractor talk has nothing to do with me getting snackies so it's not important. Show me the treats and I'll pay attention. 

Anyway, yesterday it was Dad's turn to get under the tractor. First, Mom set down the outriggers, lifted the back tires off the ground, and shoved blocks under the tires. It was safety first before Dad got out of his chair. 

Well, let me tell you. Dad out of his chair on the ground is not a good thing in my world. Dad on the ground anytime is not a good thing, and this time he did it on purpose. I did not like this. I came over and watched to see why he'd do this. I knew with me and Mom right there it must not be tooooo bad, but I still didn't like it. Once he's down he has to get back up. Not good. It worried me. 

Turns out, it was a good thing he was the one looking at the underside of the tractor. The people sent him the wrong filter (he was not happy) and Mom might not have known it was the wrong one. He put the old filter back on because, he said, the old fluid was still really clear, whatever that means. They take good care of the tractor so I bet that next year, we'll do this again with the correct filter even if we don't have four-hundred hours run time on the 1023. 

By the end of the day, the 1023 was back under the carport, the bucket of old fluid was loaded on the Silverado to go to the recycling place, and Mom was serving BBQ chicken sandwiches for dinner. 

I wonder what's for dinner today?