Saturday, January 19, 2019

And she let him back in the door

I like it when Mom laughs, so I do things so she will. Sometimes, I don't even know I've done something funny. Like this morning. 

I needed to go outside to do...you know... and when Mom opened the door, Loki ran right outside, lickety-split! I'll say one thing about that skanky cat, and that is that he is fast on his little white feet. Anyway, Mom called him to go back inside and he ignored her - so she closed the door. 

That did it. Loki got all scared. He's a wimpy creature. I was out in the yard but I heard Mom laugh. Then she got her phone and took some pictures that weren't of me. (I talked to her about that. I AM HER FAVORITE SUBJECT, not that skanky cat.)

When Mom opened the door for me, Loki ran inside and stopped. Then he swatted at me like it was my fault he'd gone outside in the cold. 

Stupid cat. 



Editor's note: Mom struck through the word "skanky." 



Friday, January 18, 2019

Three is just a number

I'm three years old now! Is that old in dog years? Mom and Dad don't think so. They talk about stuff and say I'm still a young dog. Well, I'm old enough to know snow is really cold on my paws. Is it spring yet?

I turned three on January 14. It was a quiet event. Mom had to work. Dad's home health care folks came in. His nurse scratched my belly and he ratted me out to Mom. Mom acted all insulted that I let some strange woman rub my tummy, but I know better. She doesn't really mind. She likes that I'm friendly when people come in. 

I'm friendly. I do not jump up on people. I'm too well-mannered for that. Mom brought me up right, you know. 

Mom and Dad are worried about me. Mom is convinced there's something more wrong with my leg than a torn cruciate. They keep talking about my hips and it sort of scares me. What's an X-ray? Does it hurt?

Dad had surgery and it hasn't been any fun for any of us. He can't take me outside now, so I have to go out and pee by myself.  What if I have to have surgery? Who is going to take care of me while Mom is at work? Dad's in no shape to do it. 

It makes Mom really sad. 

She talks to me at night after we go to bed and sometimes she cries and tells me she's so sorry my leg hurts. I don't blame her, though. It wasn't her fault I ran so hard and jumped so high I hurt myself. It doesn't matter because she still blames herself. She says surgery will be very hard on me because I can't tell her how I really feel. 

I guess if the vet says I need surgery, Mom will find a way to make it happen. I trust her to take care of me. I really want to live long enough to be a wise old dog. Mom said she'd like that. 






Sunday, January 13, 2019

Mom called me a "snowflake"

Sometimes I worry about Mom. This morning she called me a "snowflake." Okay, it IS snowing right now, but I'm black. Like in all black. From the tip of my very excellent nose to the tip of my toes, I'm black. How can I be a snowflake when snow is white? 

Snow is fine, I guess. It started to snow yesterday afternoon at about four o'clock. Mom and Dad checked the weather report, and Mom joked we could get anywhere from zero to ninety-nine inches. She says predicting the weather is the only job where you get paid for being wrong a lot. Her phone app said we'd get one to three inches and there are about six inches on the ground right now! 

First thing this morning, like always, I had to pee. Mom opened the sunroom door for me and yowza! I stepped outside and my poor little paws about froze! I turned around and came back inside. That's when Mom called me a snowflake. She said a big, brave, handsome pup like me shouldn't have a problem with a little bit of snow. Then she took a picture of my footprints in the snow showing how I wouldn't jump down and go tinkle. I'm so glad I keep Mom amused. 

Hey, Mom. Why don't YOU walk outside with your feet bare and tell me what you think about that?

I think Mom is going to have the last laugh on me real soon. I really need to go out. A guy can only hold it for so long, you know. The upside is that when I do finally go out, Mom will give me a Griller when I come back inside. Hmmm...

I'm Deuce! I'm going out! Cold paws are a small price to pay for a Griller. 



Saturday, December 29, 2018

Run, Run, Rudolf!


I got two of the best Christmas presents ever! Dad got to come home after his surgery AND I caught Rudolf the Reindeer!  Well, Dad found him somewhere and Mom said I could have him but they told me I could pretend I caught a deer. I sort chewed his red nose off and then tore out his brains but Mom said it was alright. 

Aunt Doll was here when the stuffing started to come out. She played along with me. It was a lot of fun until Mom said Rudolf was officially "dead" and put him in the trash.

I'm really glad Dad is home. Mom and I missed him. Sure, I got to sleep on his side of the bed and I didn't have to move, but that was only really fun the first night. I don't like it when our pack isn't together. I gave him the cold shoulder at first so he'd know it was not okay he was gone but Mom reminded me it wasn't his fault. So I made up with him. 

Dad slept in his chair last night but at least he was here in the house with us. He has to wear this nasty looking hard plastic collar until his neck heals. It's a lot of extra work for Mom. She has to change the dressings on his incision and help him get dressed. I think she'll have to give him a bath the way she gives me a bath - climb in with him. I don't think she's going to like that. Mom and Dad never shower together. Mom likes to have the bathroom to herself. I think I'll watch because it should be interesting. 

Mom told me Christmas is over and New Year's Eve is just a few nights away. I remember New Year's Eve. People around here go crazy. They shoot shotguns and blow car horns and just make a lot of noise. People can be strange. 

But maybe the best part is Mom is going to bake a ham on New Year's Eve. I love ham! What a way to close out the year! I bet we'll have something with ham in it on New Year's Day, too. Mom's frugal that way. 

Just in case I don't have time to blog again this year, have a happy and safe New Year's. When you go out, remember some of your pack members are home waiting on you. They need you so don't be stupid, okay?  Be the whole pack in 2019. That's the best way. 





Thursday, December 20, 2018

I went to work with Mom today

Dad has been in the hospital in a place called Baltimore. It's been boring for me. I've been home alone some and I don't like it much. The upside is Cousin Dave has been looking out for me while Mom takes care of Dad and goes to work. It's fun to spend some time with him. He gives me treats. Today was really special, though. I got to go to work with Mom!

Going to work with Mom is fun. It starts off with a ride in her car. I love her car! Mom doesn't drive fast when I'm in the back so I get to look all around. When we got there, I peed on a bush. Mom laughed but I don't know why. 

Maybe she hoped I'd kill it because she doesn't like the bushes. She once told Dad there are nasty people who use those bushes for drug drops and her employer won't cut them down even though the security cameras have recorded videos. I think Mom should retire and be with me all day. Anyway...

Mom took an old Frisbee along so I'd have something to play with. I was a bit uneasy with all the people who came into her office. They all wanted to touch my Frisbee and I did not like that. 

Mom was working but I'm not sure anyone else was. But most of the time it was just me and Mom. Mom talked to her computer and I chewed on the Frisbee. It was okay but I was really glad when Mom said it was time to go home. 

We had to make a run for the car. It was really raining! Mom opened the back door for me and I jumped too fast and hit my nose. That hurt! Mom laughed at me. That hurt, too, but I earned it. 

It was a fun day but home really is where the heart is. I'm soooo glad I can curl up on the couch with Mom tonight and watch a little TV. It would be better if Dad was here, but he has to stay at the rehab place for a little while. 

He'll be home soon but until then I'll sleep with my head on his pillow. And maybe I'll get to go to work with Mom again. 





Sunday, December 9, 2018

Really, Mom?

It's gotten really cold outside, so cold that Mom can't go out without a coat. I have to stand at the door and wait for her until she's got on a coat and gloves. I hate to wait!

Cold weather cuts into my walk time, too. My paws are pretty tough but the ground is freezing. Mom knows this and she pays attention. I must do something that signals her my tootsies have had enough because she seems to know just the right moment to turn around and head home. We had a dusting of snow the other morning. That was really cold on my paws but I liked it. 

Mom and I get bored when it's cold outside. We were out of bed at our usual time and I went out by myself to tinkle. That's all good. But Mom won't take a cup of coffee to the porch or patio when it's this cold. I sit at the door in Mom's office and look out, but it's not the same as being outside and able to smell the breeze. Plus, that skanky Loki comes pussy-footing along and sits beside me. He doesn't help me keep an eye on the neighborhood. He's too busy washing his paws to be of any use. 

This morning, Mom set the jar of Grillers on her desk. I love Grillers! They're the best!  Anyway, she gave me a few bites - she always breaks them into pieces so I get to taste them - and then she closed the jar. But I could see it. I could see there were more Grillers inside! So I sniffed the jar and do you know what she did? She took my picture. Mom set me up!

Really, Mom? I'm Deuce and I know what you did. We can be friends again if you give me another Griller. 



Saturday, November 24, 2018

I have pills to take

Dad got me a supplement called cosequin to add to my diet. It's supposed to help with my joints. I've been having some problems since I hurt my cruciate. Mom thinks it's because now I don't put the same amount of weight on that leg. She thinks I walk and run lopsided. She might be right. 

Even with all that, I'm not sure Mom is happy about me taking this cosequin stuff. I heard her tell Dad that if my tummy got upset, it was on him. She sounded pretty firm. Dad said he'd clean it up and I did not like the sound of that. I hope I don't get sick when Mom's not home. Mom is fast to the door to let me out. Dad...not so much. 

Now I know Mom pretty well. She'll watch me like a hawk. She's a real hover Mom. If she suspects I'm having any sort of a reaction to this stuff, she will throw it in the trash. Doing that might make Dad mad but not me. I'm glad Mom watches over me like I watch over her. 

We're a pack, and that's what packs do. 


Sunday, November 11, 2018

It was breakfast in the hex today

It was cold this morning! My paws about froze when I went out to pee-pee. Mom said it was only twenty-three degrees Fahrenheit. What's Fahrenheit mean? Is that important? Anyway, it was cold. I made really fast work of all my outside activities and trotted for the door. 

That was bad of me. I should have waited for Mom to catch up but I left her in the dust. Maybe she didn't notice I did that. She gave me a treat when she finally opened the door for me. Of course, she did whine a bit about having to hang her coat in the closet. I remember last year she'd hang her coat over a dining room chair. Now she's worried that skanky Loki might claw at the fabric. I've been trying to tell her that cat is a nuisance. Does she listen? Noooooo. She just keeps feeding him. 

Mom feeds me, too. She pays attention and knows that sometimes I get bored with the same food over and over and over. I'll be three years old soon and we've tried a few different doggie chows for me. Some are really great and Mom sometimes mixes them together for me. I like the turkey and venison the best. Don't bring me lamb. I do not like lamb. Or grain-free. That is some nasty chow. I didn't eat any of that until I was very hungry. Mom noticed and took a can of wet food and made gravy for it. Then I ate it. 

Sometimes though, I get bored with eating. It's the same thing every day. Mom puts food in my bowl and I eat. This morning, it just seemed too boring. I put my hex in my bowl for Mom to see. 

Mom is pretty smart. She "gets" me. Right away she picked up my bowl and filled my hex with my doggie chow. I took it to the office so I could eat with her while she worked online. She told me I chew loudly and then she took my picture and laughed. 

I'm Deuce! Mom really loves me no matter how noisy I am when I eat.




Monday, October 29, 2018

Not too smart, Dad

It's quiet when Mom isn't home. Every day during the week is much the same. I get up with Mom and we go outside. Then Mom gets ready for work. Right before she leaves, we go outside again and walk to the end of the lane and back. That's almost half a mile! 

Well, we don't go that far if it's raining really hard or if it's really cold, but that's not too often. 

After Mom heads out, Dad gets up. He fixes coffee and we watch a little television. Then he gets dressed and we go in and out the lane again. His power chair goes faster than Mom walks. I have to run some to keep up. Then we have a nap before lunch. After lunch, we nap again.

We don't like to admit to Mom we nap while she's at work, and now, thanks to Dad, she has proof we're the couch potatoes she says we are. 

Dad took a picture of me and Loki snoozing together and sent it to her. 

Dad! Why?! What were you thinking? I mean, I'm in Mom's spot! And to take my picture with that skanky cat? Mom's going to think I'm starting to like him better. She already suspects he and I have an understanding. 

Well, the damage is done for today. I might as well stay on the couch until I hear Mom's car driving back the lane. Besides, she's going to scold Dad, not me.

I'm Deuce! Mom won't mind if I spend the entire day sleeping in her spot. 






Sunday, October 7, 2018

Sleeping in the sun

Today is Sunday and sometimes Sundays are all about having a day of rest. Mom does all this stuff for me and Dad and every so often, she gets cranky. When that happens, it's time to not pester her for anything. Today was kinda one of those days. We did a few things but then Mom put her foot down. She'd had enough and she was going to do what SHE wanted and you'd better not argue with her. 

Mom says a day of rest is important for everyone, and we have to remember that "rest" means different things to different people, as does "work." Mom and me going for a walk isn't work. It makes us feel good so isn't that resting from our labors? And if Mom fixes something around the house that's been bugging her, and it makes her feel good, is that work? I'm a smart dog but I don't know the answer to that one. 

All I know is when Mom and Dad settled in to watch the NASCAR race, there was a sunny patch on the floor just my size. It felt really good on my back and I snoozed for a long time. 

Watching Mom and Dad isn't work as far as I'm concerned. No one makes me do it. It wouldn't feel right to me if I didn't. It's what a good dog does for the humans in his pack. 

But I'm really glad Mom decided to take a time of rest today. Otherwise, I might have missed that perfect patch of sunshine. 


13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do. -Deuteronomy 5:13-14