Friday, September 13, 2019

I had a rough night after a vet visit

I had to go to the vet yesterday evening, and I didn't like it much. Neither did Mom and Dad, but they felt they had to take me. My leg has really been hurting, and Mom said it was time for better pain relief than baby aspirin. 

I like riding in Mom's car. It's smoooth. I thought we were going to Sonic for dinner, but noooo. Next time I'll pay closer attention. Getting into the car was no fun at all because Mom had to help me get into the back seat. It was embarrassing. 

Once we got to the vet's office, about 5:15 PM, we were right away whisked into a little room. A girl came in and asked a bunch of questions. Half an hour later the vet came in and asked questions. He said I was going to get a shot of something called Dilaudid and right then and there Mom should have said NO. 

So half an hour after the doc said the shot was coming, about 6:30 PM, I got it. Half an hour after that, all I could do was pant. Then it really got bad. They took me to a different room for the vet to "examine" me. Mom was not pleased they separated us. I bet Dad had to hold her back. Anyway, the vet checked my spine, hips, and legs, and told Mom and Dad what they already knew - I have a torn cruciate. 

I don't know what, exactly, the vet told Mom and Dad because they made me stay in a different room. I know I didn't like it. I didn't feel good and I needed MOM. Instead, they HELD ME HOSTAGE UNTIL MOM PAID. I'm only a dog but I know that wasn't them taking good care of me. I should have been returned to Mom and Dad right away. Dad would have looked after me while Mom paid. It was 8:00 PM and dark before we left. We were there three hours! 

Mom had to help me into the car again. On the ride home is when I learned I have two medicines to take and I'm not supposed to jump on and off any furniture. Say what?? No napping on the couch? Okay, I can deal with that, but I sleep with Mom. It's what I do, so that's a non-negotiable fact. Lucky for me Mom agrees. She helped me onto the bed last night. 

I was so sick. My stomach gurgled and roiled and hurt but I never threw up. Mom lay down with me and cuddled me because all I could do was whimper and shake. Mom kept rubbing my back and telling me how good I was and finally I went to sleep for a while, but not long enough. 

I had to pee but I couldn't remember how. Mom took me back outside and all I could do was stand there and sway. I tried to go into the woods and now that I think about it, it was dark! I don't go into the woods in the dark now that I'm all mature and everything. 

After a while, Mom and Dad put me back in bed, and they made sure I could sleep between them. That was okay. I liked that. I felt safe with both of them with me and I finally went to sleep for real. When Mom's alarm went off at 6:00 AM, I woke up and felt much better. I peed and peed and peed when we went outside! Then Mom gave me two pills wrapped up in a cheese slice. I love cheese! 

But now Mom is using a word I don't like the sound of - surgery. 

Nope. Don't like the sound of that at all. My boy bits hurt the last time I had surgery. This does not bode well for little ol' me.

Monday, September 2, 2019

I did it again and it was not a good thing

Apparently, I'm not as smart as Mom says I am. Last week, um, I think it was last week - I'm a dog and I'm not real good with time - I rolled in some wonderful stinky stuff. Dad was not pleased when he scrubbed me down. We have lots of critters around and I couldn't help myself. It's what a dog does sometimes.

Well, I forgot I did that and that was not smart. Mom and Dad were talking about how to hang a ladder on the carport where the John Deere 1023 is parked and not paying attention to little ol' me. I found something I thought was sweet. 

I was wrong. It was NOT sweet. 

I rolled in it again and it was a BIG mistake. Mom saw me drop and roll and there was no way for me to run and hide from her. It got nasty, and I'm not talking about the smell. 

Mom put on blue rubber gloves, grabbed a bottle of dish detergent, and squirted me with soap. Man, oh man, did she scrub me down. And she wasn't gentle about. Once I was all soapy, she grabbed my collar and dragged me to the hose. I knew what was coming. COLD water. Lots and lots of cold water to rinse away the soap. 

Why is the cold water in the creek fun but cold water out of the hose not fun?

I had to stay on the patio and dry off for a long time. By myself. I was a little worried at the time. What if Mom decided I needed to sleep outside? I would not like that. 

Anyway, I'm all clean and shiny tonight, not to mention anti-bacterial. Critter droppings could have bad things in it, you know. 

I'm hoping Mom lets me on the bed but I'm not sure that will happen even though I smell okay again. She's been shaking her finger at me and reminding me I was bad every time I try to say I'm sorry. Mom does not like stinky, smelly stuff. I really must remember that. 

She'll forgive me by tomorrow morning. She always does because I'm Deuce, and I'm her dog and we're a pack. 

Saturday, August 31, 2019

We were busy!

We had a really busy day today. Mom was up at the butt-crack of dawn because Cousin Dave and Cousin John were on board to help her move a cabinet. Then Cousin Randy came to get a lawnmower and a string trimmer. And if that wasn't enough, Mom and Dad had to go to town for diesel fuel for the John Deere 1023, and gasoline for the riding mowers. I got to ride along! It was great!

Of course, I let Mom know I wanted to go. As soon as the truck door was opened, I was right there waiting for the okay to get in. I like to look around once I'm in the truck to see what I might have missed when my back was turned. It turns out I didn't miss a thing.

Dad drove down the old mountain road. Mom says it's a scenic drive. I'll take her word for it 'cause I didn't spot a single deer. Not a one. All I saw was a forest full of trees with the sunlight streaming through the leaves. Maybe Mom likes that but I think it's a bit boring.

Once we got to town, Mom went into a store and got a bag of sugar, some beer for Dad, and wine for herself. Then we got fuel and Dad decided he needed to backtrack to the bank machine for more cash. We got home and had lunch, and then Mom and Dad went to Lowe's without me. Can you believe that? As good as I was all morning and they made me stay home. No fair. 

After they got home I understood why I had to stay. They took Dad's scooter and there wasn't room for me. I'm a smart dog. I don't like it, but I get it. 

It's almost dark now. Mom's helping me blog and Dad's watching TV. As soon as me and Mom are finished, I'm taking a nap. I bet if I hop up on the bed, Mom will join me. 

I wonder what we're going to do tomorrow? Maybe we should rest. It'll be Sunday, after all. 

Thursday, August 22, 2019

I rolled in it and Dad was not happy

I'm a country dog. I think we established that a while back. I live a really good life. Mom and Dad take great care of me. I even get puppy burgers. I looove puppy burgers! What was I saying?

Oh yeah. Living in the country is fun. I get to chase deer and crows all the time. I've seen foxes, coons, groundhogs, turkeys, snakes, and even skunks. Skunks are not a good thing.

All the critters have interesting smells, and sometimes I can't help but be a dog's dog. Dad and I went for a walk yesterday and I smelled something on the ground - so I rolled on it. 

Big mistake. 

Apparently, it did not leave me smelling like a rose.

Dad was not pleased. He called Mom (she was at work) and she told him to scrub me down with dish detergent, the antibacterial kind. So he did. Man, was the water he dumped on me cold! And he made me stay outside for a long time before he threw water on me, too. 

By the time Mom got home, I was dry again. She checked me out and I'm so glad to report I passed her sniff test. If I hadn't, she was going to get the hose out and squirt me with more soap and cold water! 

I'm Deuce. I'm a smart dog. I hope I remember WHY it's bad to roll in things that smell good. Cold water. That's why. 

Monday, July 29, 2019

I almost got flapped

There was an incident this morning. I'm ashamed to admit, I didn't protect Mom. 

Mom finally came to her senses and is home with me and Dad every Monday. I like that! Mom should be with me every day, but I'll take what I can get for now. Being home with me three days a week is better than just two days a week. 

The weather was really nice this morning. Mom got up at her normal time, about six o'clock, and we went outside so I could do all my morning activities. When I was done, Mom fixed a cup of coffee (I don't like coffee, personally) and we went back outside to sit on our private little porch. It really was a fine country morning. No one was outside making noise, not even cousin Dave. 

So there I was, sitting on the porch admiring the nice mowing job Mom did on the front yard, and this wild turkey hen came strolling down the lower driveway and into the yard! And she had two little poults with her! 

I'm not allowed to chase Bambi and Kambi, but Mom never said a thing about turkeys!!!!!

I barked and barked and that hen ignored me. Being ignored is irritating so I decided to go have a chat with this big bird. I stepped off the porch and that's when it happened. That hen turned and stretched out her neck and flapped her wings and came toward me!! Well, I could tell right away she meant business and if I didn't back up, I was going to get a flapping and pecking. 

I didn't think I'd like that so I stopped as fast as I could. 

I don't remember much after that. Um, yeah. that's it. I forget what happened next. Let's go with that, not that I tucked my tail between my legs and headed for the back door and left Mom unguarded. What was I thinking to leave Mom outside with a crazed bird????

Mom came around and left me in the house, and she was laughing at me. Apparently, my shame is humorous to humans. But she gave me a Griller and told me I'm a good dog so we're good, and that's the important thing. 

The next time I see a wild turkey, I'll know what to do. I'll just bark. I'll look a lot braver in front of Mom that way. 

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Loki has a long tail

It's pretty hot outside today. I'm taking it easy inside and staying close to my fave air conditioning vent in the dining room. If I get hot, I simply stretch out over it and wait for the AC to cycle on. It feels soooo good! 

That skanky cat likes the heat. I went to check on Mom (she's in her office) and I spotted Loki sleeping on the cedar chest. Mom put an old bedspread over it so he can't scratch it. 

I bet if I touched his tail, Loki would roll right off there and hit the floor.  Hmmmm. It's a lot of temptation, even for a good dog like me.

I'm Deuce, and I think I'll take the shot....

_ _ _

**Note from Mom. It was awesome. Loki hit the floor and chased Deuce all the way to the living room. I laughed, but don't tell Deuce. 

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Writers can be sneaky

Mom does a lot of different things after she takes care of me and Dad. And Loki. Jeez, can't forget to mention that skanky cat or Mom will fuss me. One of the things Mom does is something she calls writing. That's not something I can help her with. 

When Mom is writing, I like to sleep under her desk. If she's wearing soft slippers, she'll rest her feet on me, or sometimes snuggle her bare toes beneath me. We like that. It's our thing. I like because I'll know immediately if she is leaving her desk. It's my job to keep an eye on her, you know. 

Mom's writing has been on something called a hiatus, but she's getting back to it. This week she's looking over a couple of older manuscripts that she found some mistakes in. Mom can curse like a sailor sometimes but as long as she's not slinging the f-bomb at me, we're good. 

Last night, she worked at writing while I took a nap on the bed. It rained earlier and I was bored, and a nap is a good cure for that. So I was asleep and Mom snuck out the door to our little porch without me! I did not like this. It might have been my fault because I wasn't under her desk, but I'll bet Mom did it on purpose. 

So now I have a new spot to nap - in front of the door blocking the exit. 

I'm Deuce and I'm not dumb. I got this all figured out. Mom won't get out the door without me again.

Friday, July 12, 2019

Nope. Didn't steal it.

I'm a good dog. I don't snatch Mom's socks without permission. I can't do that, anyway, because Mom doesn't leave her socks lying where I can find them. At least, not usually...

But if a pair of socks should happen to fall out of the drawer when Mom's getting dressed, and Mom doesn't see them, and if I happen to be right there, well...

I'm Deuce. I'm really a good dog. I picked up the socks for Mom. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

But now I have a question. Who is Rocket the Racoon and why did Mom ask me if I wanted it more?  
I bet she's been watching that Guardians of the Galaxy movie again.

Sunday, June 2, 2019

We're putting screen around the patio

Mom had a birthday! She had to tell me because, well, dogs aren't real good with dates. I don't even remember my own birthday. Mom has to tell me that, too. She got a lot of greeting cards from people I don't know, but the one that made her happiest was from Cousin Linda. Cousin Linda never forgets Mom's birthday and Mom never forgets her birthday, either. 

Mom and I are a team. I've been helping her clean out Jack's garage. When she goes over to do some work, I ride with her in the pickup. My job is to keep her company and listen quietly when she says a lot of very bad words about the hoard of junk. I mostly sit in the truck and watch her work, but keeping out of her way is an important job, too. Once the pickup is loaded, I ride to the landfill with her. 

Cousin Dave has been helping, too. Mom says he's the brawn to her brain. He took a bunch of old, rusty cabinets to be recycled and cut up some pressboard cabinets so they could go in the dumpster at the landfill. Those will decompose, whatever that means. He put new belts on the mower Mom uses, too. Mom doesn't like Dad's mower because it doesn't have brakes, just funky handlebars. 

I'm not sure I understand the whole landfill thing. It seems like Mom is glad to have a place to dump all the junk, but really upset it has to go there. It's confusing to a dog. Like how does Mom know what goes on the metal only pile? And how does she know where to take the plastic items? Mom knows a lot of stuff!

Mom works hard taking care of me so I'm really, really, really happy she did something for herself for her birthday. She called Cousin Chris and he's putting screens all around the patio to keep the bugs out. I like that idea! It will be wonderful to be able to sit on the patio and not have one of those nasty big bumblebees dive bomb my head. Good idea, Mom! 

Have you ever seen those big bumblebees? They're huge! 

The downside is I can't just stroll out wherever I want. I have to go through the special panels with the screen curtains. They have magnets to keep them closed. It's easy-peasy. Just keep walking and they part. There's one on each side, special for me!

Once the screens are installed, Mom wants to paint the trim. I heard her and Dad talking about it and Dad said she had to wait until the wood cured a little more. Mom rolled her eyes and I know what that meant - she already knew that. 

Mom just finished her coffee and I know what that means. It's time to start our day. I'm not sure what Mom has planned, but I'm Deuce! I'm her right-paw guy and I'll be beside her every step of the way! 

Saturday, May 18, 2019

I wish I could help

It's not been a very good patch for Mom. Her stepfather died. I remember Jack. He was really tall. He was also married to Grandma. I think married must be the same as being mates. Jack and Grandma used to be together all the time before Grandma got something called Alzheimer's.

Mom was trying to take care of Jack. I could see it was hard on her. She has a job and she takes care of Dad, me, and Loki, too. Plus she mows the grass, does the laundry, cooks, gets the groceries. She's been doing it all without any help and she's really worn out. I try to be on my very best behavior so I don't become a burden. She says I'll never be one, but I want to do my part. 

Mom's been coaxing me to put my head on the pillows with her at night. It must comfort her so I do it even when I get too warm. I try not to pant but I can't always help it. Mom doesn't fuss me when I have to move to cool down. She understands.

I don't understand everything she has to do now. It seems like it's a lot more than before. Dad is being what Mom says is "solicitous." I'm a smart dog, but I don't know what that means. 

I'd really like to help Mom so I guess the best thing I can do is just be me. I'm a good dog. Mom tells me that every day. It makes me so happy to hear her say, "Deuce is a good dog!" 

Mom says life will get easier once she's settled everything and Dad's recovered from his upcoming surgery. Cousin Chris is screening in the patio real soon so we should have a lot of fun this summer, sitting outside and not having to swat mosquitoes. Mom got the notice the panels have been shipped and she was happy about that! 

I'll have to try harder to comfort Mom, but I'm just too big to sit on her lap. I'll have to think of something else. 

I'm Deuce! I'll come up with something to make her smile.