Friday, December 31, 2021

New Year's Eve day 2021

Mom and Dad told me it's New Year's Eve, but they didn't mention steak so I'm not too impressed. I haven't had steak in soooooo long. But I did spy something interesting wrapped in blue foil-like stuff in the fridge. I think it's a HAM! I wonder when the parents are putting that in the oven? 

I'm a good dog and I listen when Mom and Dad talk. I learned today is special but neither one seems very enthusiastic about it. What's an old fogey? Dad said something about seeing the ball drop over seventy times so if he falls asleep, it'll be ok. 

Ball? What ball? Is there a ball here I do not know about? Are the parents holding out on me? I need to investigate this. 

Mom thought it was a good idea for us to take a last walk of 2021. I'm up for a walk any day, so I led the way with Mom following. I know I'm supposed to walk beside Mom, but she doesn't enforce that rule unless I need to be on the leash. I'm Deuce. I know the difference. 

I had fun running through the creeks even though the water was cold on my paws. It was a good day to be out in the woods. 

Tomorrow will be a new year. I'll be six years old in two weeks. Mom says the time is just flying by and she wishes we'd be together forever. I don't worry about those things. I just live every day as it comes and I'll be with Mom and Dad for however long I am. Mom says that's why dogs are so special. 

Whatever the new year brings, we'll get through it. We're a pack and as long as the pack looks out for each other, even the cats like Loki in the pack, life will be fine. So take care of your pack, every day, and remember to be generous with praise and snackies, and share the bed equally. If you do that, it will be okay.

Thursday, December 30, 2021

I've been right at her side...mostly

I need a loooong nap! Seriously!  Christmas is past and while it was pretty quiet, Mom and Dad made it hard for me to do my job every day. I'm supposed to keep track of them and watch over them, but they just didn't stay in the same room. Dad watched TV in the living room while Mom was in her office doing bookish stuff. I think maybe the giblets made up for it, though. They were soooooo good. 

Mom told me we got a new "badge" from Fitbit. No wonder my paws are tired!! 4,132 miles is a long way! (Mom told me that and I believe her.) I've been by her side for almost every step, so it's my badge, too. Mom says an award is a good way to close out this year and get ready for the New Year. 

We get our next badge at five thousand miles. I'm not very good with math other than counting how many snackies I get to be sure I'm not being cheated, and I do know when the cuckoo sings out it's bedtime, but I thought mileage had to do with my, Dad's truck. Whatever. I'm a dog. I only know what I'm told or I figure out, ok? 

Mom says we'll probably get the next badge sometime around August or September. That seems a long way off, but we know it's good to have goals. 

I have a goal for today, Mom. It's called napping. How about it? Can we please nap today? Think about it. We've walked a long way and we deserve a nap. 

Friday, December 24, 2021

Christmas Eve -I'm going for a ride!

They can't fool me. I heard Mom say it yesterday. They're going to wait until dark and then ride around and look at all the Christmas lights. 

I hope they know I'm NOT staying home alone. I'm going to ride along tonight. Now all I have to do is convince my parents it's the best idea ever to take me along. 

Riding in Mom's car is fun. I can stretch out in the backseat and get really comfy. And when I'm comfy, I'm quiet. Heck, I might even be able to snap a nap. I'm going along.

They might try to sneak out on me, but I'm watching them. Call me Hawkeye because I won't miss a single move they make. When Mom has a purse, it's time to block the door. Better yet, since I always go out to peepee before they go anywhere, I'll refuse to come back inside. I'll go sit beside the Charger and wait on them. 

You just watch me. I'm a good dog. I deserve to go on a little ride. 

I. Am. Going. Along. 

Please, Mom?



Saturday, November 20, 2021

I was only trying to help!

It seems that occasionally, I can get myself into trouble without really trying very hard. It happened today. I wasn't sure at first because Mom LAUGHED at me and grabbed her phone to take my picture. I don't think Dad was very amused, but I didn't get fussed for it so I guess that's a good thing. 

Dad punched a hole in one of the tires on his fancy power chair. This could be bad if his tire goes flat and he's not at home. He'd be stuck. Anyway, he asked Mom to bring home a tire patch kit so she did. Then it was kinda cold today and Dad thought he'd better check his innertubes inside where it was warm. I thought I'd help.

Bad idea, Deucie. Bad idea. 

But here's the thing. I only wanted to help. Dad asks me to pick stuff up off the floor all the time. And this tube thingee looked like it would bounce and be fun so I snatched it up. I didn't have a chance to chew it! I didn't chew it! And I got laughed at! 

Of course, I was bad because I did not put it down when both Mom and Dad told me to. I held on to it, hoping they'd change their minds. But noooo.... 

Mom took it away from me and put it in the spare bedroom and closed the door so I couldn't get to it. Some days I just don't know about my parents. I almost never have bad ideas so, you know, I deserved the pass. 

The next time Dad asks for help, I think I'll just stare at him like I don't know what he's saying. It's better than Mom laughing at me. 

But remember - I did NOT chew it up. Don't I deserve an atta-boy for that? 

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Let's hurry this thing along!

I know it's there, resting in the freezer. I SAW it when Mom brought it home. I'm not just any dog. I'm DEUCE!!! I can read and the label said TURKEY!!!!!

And I know from experience that inside that ball of ice are GIBLETS!!!

Who does Mom think she's dealing with here? If I had thumbs, I'd get the turkey out of the freezer and go for the giblets now. 

Mom and Dad are planning a Thanksgiving dinner next week, but why do we have to wait? You know what they say, right? A bird in the mouth is worth two in the freezer. 

This waiting is just awful. 

Monday, November 8, 2021

Sunny day walkabout


Yesterday was a really busy day! We went out to pick up sticks...I love sticks! Sticks are fun! Not after Mom tosses them on a fire, but before. Anyway, we went out to do a bit of clean-up so Dad doesn't get his chair stuck when he's down at the shooting range. 

It was perfect weather to be outside, but the ground was a wee bit damp. I felt it in my legs by bedtime, but it didn't stop me from hopping up onto the bed with Mom.

While we were out, Mom and I took a walkabout around the yard, and of course, Mom did that video thing as we went. So here's my video story of yesterday!

I'm Deuce, and I'm a star!

Monday, October 25, 2021

Black on black, that was me

The pack has been enjoying the fall weather. There are deer everywhere! And squirrels! Mom says they're here munching on all the acorns. That makes no sense. I tasted an acorn. Yuk. Who would want to eat an acorn? Make mine steak! 

I chase the deer out of the backyard almost every day. It's great exercise. Mom and Dad are winding down the outdoor projects. Mom's cleaned out her garden corral and Dad got the old Craftsman mower stored for the winter. He spread some gravel out and got all the attachments for the John Deere lined up for the winter. Mom moved some pots into the little greenhouse. It's been sort of slow and lazy work, but we needed the break. 

The other day, it was good weather to burn the brush pile again. Our yard is ringed by a lot of trees and we gather up the branches when they break off, and put them on a pile. It's a never-ending job but that's okay. When it's time to burn, we can sit back and watch the fire. This time, we all piled into the Colorado, except for Loki, and watched the burn. 

The backseat of the Colorado is pretty comfy for a dog my size. Mom put down a special seat cover just for me. I bet I could really snooze there if they'd let me, but noooo. I can only get in Mom's truck when she's in it, too. 

So we all watched the fire. It's always great when the pack is together. 

I bet you're wondering why there's not a picture of me. Well, it's a simple answer. Black dog on a black seat cover in a black truck on a cloudy day. The camera made me vanish! Poof! It was... wait for it... black magic! 

Thursday, September 30, 2021

It's not nice to tease me, Dad


Dad is really good at putzing around in his shed. Putzing is like puttering. Or "working on a project" only he knows about. We did that today. 

I'm not sure what he's working on but it involves 2x4 lumber and a lot of noise. I usually don't pay much attention, but then the magic happened! Dad opened the doors on MY truck! So of course I jumped right in! 

And that's as far as I got. 

Dad had no intention of taking me for a ride. He just messed around with the running board and left me sitting there like the good dog I am. Then he took my picture and sent it to Mom and now it's on a blog post. 

That's the way things work around here. 

Sunday, September 26, 2021

One weekend, two walks

 It's fall! Okay, I'm a dog and I'm not sure what that means, but Mom and Dad sure like it. If they like it, I love it. 

I think fall means it gets cooler at night, and that's okay. I'm a pampered pup and get to sleep on a king-sized bed with Mom and Dad. I get the middle and I like it there. I need to keep an eye on my parents. Plus, they're good props for when I need to cool down my belly and stretch out with my paws in the air. 

Yesterday, me and Mom took an early morning walk around our big loop. Are seven thousand steps a lot of steps? Mom talks like it is. I was tuckered when we got back but it was great fun to be out in the woods without all the gnats and mosquitoes flying around my head. Mom agrees. 

This morning, we went for a walk past the old reservoir and Dad went with us. He can't take his chair across the creek because he doesn't want to short out his wheel motors, so he waits for me and Mom to finish our walk and come back. We're glad he does that. 

Mom took some pictures but they weren't many of me. What gives, Mom? I thought I was your favorite photography subject? Should I be worried? AND Mom forgot to take snackies along on the walk today. Mom? Don't you love me anymore? 

Boy, am I getting the look... Of course, Mom loves me. I know that. Just teasing ya, Mom. 

Mom's pictures are pretty woodsy photos and she made a collage so we would remember the weekend. I'm not going to forget. I'm smarter than that. 

On the way home today we ran into Cousin Dave and Cousin Sadie just beginning their walk. Sadie is a nutter. She always tries to jump on me! Mom tells me to chill out but it's not fun getting whacked on the nose so I keep my distance so Sadie can't reach my nose. Problem handled whether Mom and Cousin Dave like it or not. It's MY nose. 

We might go for a walk again tomorrow, we don't know yet. We'll have to see what the weather is, and Mom needs to check the hunting season schedule. I might have to start wearing my orange vest again soon. I wonder if Sadie will get one to match? 

Our walks were fun but it's almost time for Mom and Dad to start dinner. I wonder what we'll have? Maybe I'll get another slice of Fresh Pet for a before-dinner snack! That would be wonderful! I'm really looking forward to anything but dry dog food. 

I'm Deuce, and I deserve a people plate of my own! 

Monday, September 13, 2021

How could she forget?

 Mom forgot she had a video of ME to post. Can you believe it? She took it the last time we had a brush pile to burn. I always go along to help so Mom has a lot - I mean A LOT - of opportunities to get a video of me. 

Next time, don't forget to show everyone my video, okay?

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

A long ride in Mom's car!

 Yesterday started out like any other day. I got Mom up so she could open the door for me. I chased the deer out of my backyard. I did my other outside activities and then went back inside for a "good boy" snackie. Then me and Mom settled down in her office so she could check her email and stuff on her computer. Yeah, it was pretty typical. 

When we finished with the computer stuff, we joined Dad to check in with some of the YouTube channels they follow. Do you think I'll ever get my own channel? I don't think so, either. Making videos is a lot of work and Mom's already pretty busy. I'm not giving up hope, though. 

I'm Deuce! I'm handsome enough to be a star! Whatcha say, Mom? (Boy, did I just get a look...)

Dad found something interesting when he was surfing the internet. It's a place about an hour north of where we live that raises chickens. 

Hey! I like chicken! I like eggs! We should get some chickens for me! (Boy, did I just get another look...)

It was a really nice day. Not too hot, not too cold, and lots of sunshine. Mom said we should go see it, which confused me. Mom knows what a chicken looks like. AND THEN IT HIT ME!!!! MOM SAID WE!!!

She meant I could go along for the ride! In the Charger! Well, I hot-footed it right out the door and hopped into the backseat! No need to tell ME twice! 

When we got there, I was really disappointed. There wasn't a chicken or an egg in sight. It was just a big field of sunflowers and lots and lots of people taking pictures and videos of them. 

People are weird, but it made Mom and Dad happy, so there ya go. I'm happy, too.

Anyway, we headed home, and like always, Mom knew right away when I started to get peckish. She went through a McDonald's drive-thru and we got lunch. I love getting a puppy burger. It's sooo good! Just the roll and the burger without all the sloppy stuff people eat. I mean, who really likes pickles? Not me. 

It was good to get back home and relax. We chilled on the patio for a little while and just enjoyed the nice weather. And do you know what we had for dinner? CHICKEN!

Saturday, August 28, 2021

I must have incurred karma somewhere

Saturday! Yea! Mom said we were going for a long walk and I was there, baby! 

I got a little antsy at first. Mom said we were going and then she sat down at the computer. What was up with that? Thank goodness she wasn't there long. I would have had a spasm or something!

It was really misty outside and Mom thought it was really cool. I didn't care. We were going for a walk! 

Mom said we were going the long loop so down the road we went, not up the hill to the old reservoir. And then things got weird. We turned back on the old homestead lane and it was all different. Like really different. So that's what all the noises I've been hearing have been about! The people who own the lane have smoothed it out and put down a really firm gravel base. It's a lot easier to walk on now and I don't need to be careful and watch for broken glass. That's all good. Mom says that since they're almost finished, we can walk back there more often again.

So we were checking it all out and went up to the one stream. It dries up a bit in August and sure enough, no water. We turned around to get back to the trail and that's when Karma kicked my black ass. 

There stood Sadie. 

In the middle of my walk - in the middle of MY woods. There she was. Cousin Dave and Cousin Sharon were with her, but I was so piqued I didn't talk to them. When Mom said we could walk together, I wanted to howl. What if she came home with us again? We babysat her once and that did not make me very happy.

I don't know what I did. I've been good. I don't pee in the den. I don't even growl at the UPS guy or the mail lady these days. Yes, I chased Bambi a few times but I didn't hurt her. I don't think I deserved this dash of Karma. 

But maybe it was just a fluke. We got to a cross trail and Sadie went that way and Mom and I finished our normal route. Whew! I was sooooo relieved! 

Mom says I need to get over it, that Sadie is a nice girl and once she's older she'll be fine. I sure hope Mom is right because the occasional play date might be fun. Once she learns not to jump in my face, of course. 

It was great to get out and then get home before it got too hot. Mom says we're probably staying inside for a couple of hours since we got so overheated this morning. That sounds like a good idea to me. I need a nap and to rest my tired paws! 

Friday, August 20, 2021

Sometimes, it's just life

I have a really good life, even for a dog. Mom says the world revolves around me. I thought it revolved around the sun, but who am I to correct Mom? If she thinks it's all about me, I'll let her since it makes her happy. 

We've been busy the last few weeks. It's been life as usual, and that's okay. Dad's been using the Brush Crusher to clean up the woods, and Mom's been preserving food I don't like. Pickles? Ickky-poo! Peaches? Yuk! It's a good thing there are snackies in my jar. 

This summer has been the opposite of last year. Last year was cooler than normal and this year it's hotter. Dad has made sure I get to hop in the creek every day because when it's this hot, going for long walks doesn't leave us feeling real energetic. 

Mom's been home for the last eight days. Someone at the day job she wants to leave came down with the Covid-19 virus everyone is talking about. Mom wasn't anywhere near them, but she won't go back into the building until it's been sanitized. Actually, she told me she might not go back at all, that the people who got sick are something called 'anti-vaxxers' and Mom's afraid she'll snicker at them and she knows that won't be very kind. I like it when Mom works from home. I get more snackies. 

I've been on a lot of rides lately, too. This is a good thing. Dad and I like to ride along with Mom when she's running a quick errand. We stay in the car with the air conditioning running. Mom knows it's a waste of gasoline, but she thinks it's more important that Dad and I get out of the house from time to time. 

Another thing that's been going on is target practice. Dad's guns are loud! My parents wear ear protection but there's none for me so I have to stay inside all by my lonesome. I don't like this, but it is better for my hearing to stay safe. 

Sadie ran away from Cousin Dave one day and he had to come get her. Mom didn't mind she came up, but I don't think Cousin Dave was too happy. You know what? I've never run away from home like that. If you leave home, you might not get snackies and that would be a bad thing.

Someone named Fred brought a lot of rain with him up from the Gulf of Mexico the last couple of days. I don't know Fred. He didn't stop here, but Mom and Dad seem to think it's okay his trail passed over us. Maybe now that's it's rained, the heat will dissipate and Mom and I can get back to our walks. 

That's about it for now. It's a good life, but sometimes it gets boring. 

Monday, July 19, 2021

It's Dad's birthday!

Today is Dad's birthday and we're having Salisbury steak for dinner! I'm not sure what kind of steak that is, but it's STEAK! This is a good thing! 

I'm not sure what we're going to do special for Dad's birthday. He had one of those weird video chats with his litter last Sunday. Mom's home today and I heard them say something about going to pick up Walther. All I can say is birthday or not, Walther had better not be another cat. 

Dad and I have spent a lot of time together over the years. Mom's been off working, but that's changing. She's going to be home more now and we like that. It'll keep me busier, having two parents to watch every day, but I can do it.

Keeping an eye on Dad is harder than you'd think. He goes outside and has me stay inside. I do not like this. He worries I'll get into some mischief or even get hurt while he's puttering around in the shed or using the John Deere 1023. Do you think now that he's had another birthday that will change? Me neither. 

Dad takes me down to the creek almost every day when the weather is fit for him to be outside. He gets the mail and I splash around for a bit. Then I look for the frog and he laughs at me, but that's ok. 

A lot of days we guys just hang out and that's pretty cool. We can't do that when Mom's here. Dad's not constant movement the way Mom is. 

So, happy birthday, Dad! I'm really glad you're my Dad and we get to take care of each other, sort of like it was meant to be. You're a great Dad! 

Now, who is Walther? 

Monday, July 12, 2021

We had a busy weekend going green

Deuce stepping up to get a snack
My parents like to include me in just about everything they do. I even get to go along in the truck sometimes. That's one of my favorite things even though I know it's my job to keep an eye on the homefront when they have to run a few errands. Everyone needs a little break now and then, right? 

This past weekend Mom and Dad decided it was time to burn the brush pile. I get to help with outside work as long as I pay attention and keep out of the way of the tractor. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I took my orange ball with me so I'd have something to play with.

Dad got on the John Deere 1023 and Mom got on the John Deere x370 and off we went! There sure was a lot of green working in the woods! Green is the best! Green makes Mom and Dad pretty happy. 

Dad doesn't get on and off the tractor so it's easy to keep track of him. Mom? Mom jumps around a lot picking up sticks, raking around the fire, and spraying water around the fire ring. I have to really watch out for her when she has the hose. 

While Mom tended the fire, Dad used that wicked-looking thing called a Brush Crusher to pick up and carry old trees and branches that have been lying in the woods for years to the fire. Dad really likes the Brush Crusher because he can get a lot done with it, things that would never even be done at all if he didn't have it. Mom says it was a good investment. She knows about that stuff and Dad knows about tractor implements. 

The area we're cleaning up is what Mom and Dad always called the "wilderness area." They left everything to nature so the birds and deer and other critters could have safe cover. Well, the raccoon changed all that and I understand why. It seems like the wild things are getting too comfortable too close to the house so it's time to open up the area so they don't have places to hide. The critters will have to go down the other side of the hill.

It was two long days, but we got a lot done. And you know what the best part was? My parents remembered to take snackies along for me! 

Monday, June 28, 2021

It was hot, but fun

It really is a good thing the cicadas have gone! Mom decided we should go for a long walk yesterday morning before it got too hot. It was a good plan, but we still waited too long. It was hot! 

Mom's been curious about what's going on back the old homestead lane, and since it was Sunday and there wasn't any construction, we went to check it out. It turns out they're making the road wider and have been cutting down trees. Mom's not too happy about the big oak trees coming down. The road could have been widened so as not to harvest them, and that's probably what is going on. Why have the county come to look at options to strengthen our little bridge if they didn't plan to haul out logs that weigh tons and tons? 

Being that it was Sunday morning, and hot, Mom didn't think we'd see people, but we did. We saw people who did not see us. You know, if you're going to walk in the woods, you need a dog to go with you so he, or she, can alert you to the presence of other people in the woods. 

Seriously - don't be oblivious in the woods. It's not a good thing. 

And another thing. If you're walking in the woods with your dog and you meet someone walking their dog, it's not okay to assume the dogs will "play." I will not play. Playing is not my job. Protecting Mom is my job so don't get all insulted when I don't play with your dog. And do not stick your stinky hand in my face. You don't know me and I don't want to know you. Just smile and keep walking. Mom and I stopped to be polite and let you pass, not make a play date for me.  Have a little respect for a guy who takes his job seriously, okay? 

It was a good walk. The pond was full of marsh grasses and we didn't see any snakes. I got to play in every creek and Mom kept her dry. 

Yep. Good walk.

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Where did it go?

June 26, 2021 - reservoir demolished

Mom and I took a walk yesterday - finally! It's been like FOREVER since I got to go on a walk. Maybe not forever, but since those nasty big bugs crawled out of the ground. What a racket!! Anyway, the cicadas are about gone and Mom says it'll be a long time before we hear more than just one or two singing. She says it'll be so long until they come back I shouldn't worry about it. 

It was mid-morning before we headed out so it was getting warm. I was excited because I really like to splash around at the old reservoir... um, that was a surprise. We turned the corner and the big cinder block building was gone! The old cistern was gone! I stopped to take a good look but Mom kept right on walking like it was no big deal. 

She forgot to tell me about this. I know she did. She doesn't tell me things because I'm a little person with four paws and fur, and she doesn't think I'll understand. DOG, Mom. Not stupid. 

Anyway, it was one of my landmarks and it's gone. That means I'll have to up my pee-game in that area. It's good to leave a trail to find one's way back home. 

The creek is still there and I was soooo glad! I was already hot and it felt soooo good to get my paws wet and then hop down into the little pool I like and get my belly wet, too. Mom even got her feet wet this time. I don't see that happen often. 

Mom was a little sad to see the old springhouse and cistern demolished. The reservoir had been there all her life, even back when she was my age. But things change. It wasn't being maintained and someone could have gotten hurt if they went inside the springhouse and fell through to the cistern. 

There's still a pipe there where hikers observant enough to spot it can get a drink of really cold pure spring water. Getting a drink of spring water fresh from the source is a simple country pleasure we get to enjoy all the time. 

I hope we go for a walk again today. I'm waiting like the good dog I am and trying to send Mom a telepathic message. I'm staring at her but I'm not sure I'm getting through. Hey, Mom! Wind up this blog so we can get going. 

She heard me!

I'm Deuce and I have a superpower!

Monday, June 7, 2021

What the hell was that?????

Let's be clear about one thing - I'm a good dog. There are some things that a good dog should be entitled to, and going out to peepee undisturbed is one of them. I'm sorry when I wake up Mom at 4:00 AM because I can't wait any longer, but even then I should be able to step into the yard without getting dive-bombed by bugs. 

And not just any bug. These are big fu... oops. I'm not supposed to say that word because I'm only five. Anyway, these are big bugs. Like bigger than me! And ugly! And loud! Don't they sleep?

Well, okay. Not really bigger than me - but BIG! 

So here's what happened. I had to go so I nudged at Mom until she woke up. There's a light on the patio that comes on when I trip the sensor. I like this because, hey, in the country. Dark. How would YOU like to walk into the grass in the dark with bare paws? You wouldn't. Anyway, the light came on and BAM!! About six of these big bugs hit me! 

I did not like this.

Mom says it's because they got confused and thought they could mate with me. Um... what? 

Nooo. I'm not that kind of guy! 

I finished up and hot-footed it back through the screen to the safety of my patio. We watched them swarm all over the light until it went out. Then Mom warned me the same thing will happen every time I go out to peepee after dark until all those weird bugs have mated, laid their eggs, and died. The whole thing takes about six weeks. 

Moving to Montana sounds like a really good idea.

Monday, May 31, 2021

I was never that young

Sometimes I wonder if Mom will ever learn to consult me before she agrees to do something. I mean, I could head her off at the pass and save us both a lot of aggravation. Yesterday is a prime example of what I'm talking about. 

What am I talking about? Or should that be barking about? Maybe whining. Let's go with whining. (Mom says the correct word is "whinging" but I don't know that one.) ANYWAY, we babysat Sadie yesterday so Cousins Dave and Sharon could go out to dinner for their 40th wedding anniversary. 

I helped. Mom and Dad made me. I had no choice in the matter. 

Okay, so Sadie is a pretty little thing. She's family and I'm snipped and now Mom is glaring at me. Hey, I'm laying out the facts. Sadie is also very perky. She has a lot of energy whereas I'm more reserved as befits a descendant of the St. John's Dog. 

I should have known something was up when Mom walked down the driveway without me. She went to get Sadie so Sadie wouldn't see her Mom and Dad leave her behind and get abandonment issues.

What about me? Mom was quick enough to abandon ME! She never goes on walks without me but off she went. And she came back with Sadie! What about my issues? 

So Mom brings Sadie inside and Sadie jumps on me. I showed her the old pearly whites but she didn't seem to notice. Instead, she beat me on the nose with her paw! I did not like this and told her in no uncertain terms to stop it. She seemed really surprised and sat still and stared at me. 

Once we established that smacking me in the face wasn't okay, things settled down. Sadie stayed with Mom and I guarded Dad. It worked out really well. Sadie and I could discuss things from a distance, which we did. And then Mom took us outside.

You know what? I sort of figured it out. Batting at me with her paws is how Sadie tells me she wants to play! So I played a little and even wagged my tail for her - twice. Mom said that was a good start and took us back inside for treats. 

Having Sadie come for a visit was okay. We got everything figured out, but we're dogs from different packs. We'll have to sort of figure it out again the next time we see each other. That's the way it works when different packs meet.

I think when Sadie is a little older and stops smacking me with her furry feet, we'll get along better. She just has toooooo much energy for a mature guy like me. I gotta tell ya, I was never that young. 

Monday, May 17, 2021

I feel neglected


I'm feeling a bit neglected lately. My parents are busy with a bunch of projects and they're ignoring me. Mom's been busy with her tomato seedlings, Dad's been cleaning the guns and designing a shooting range to be built into the hillside. They were both working on the new work/cook station on the patio. They've both been on the tractor and the mowers. 

Where has poor little Deucie been? Stuck in the house, that's where! 

It's not like I get in the way too often. I know to move when the tractor is headed in my direction. I know to move out of the way really fast if Mom has the water hose in her hand. She'll spray me! 

You know, this doesn't make any sense. I love, love, love jumping into the creek but I don't like getting sprayed with the hose. Huh. Does that make me odd? 

Mom told me she's about done with her projects and will take time to play with me more. I hope that means long walks! I'm ready! 

Mom and Dad work hard to make sure I have a good life. I have a nice rug on the patio now, and shady places to stretch out and relax while I keep an eye on everything. I guess I shouldn't complain when they leave me inside for my own protection. 

Then again, I'm Deuce. I'm smart. I'm also getting suspicious. 

They're going to grill steaks on that new Blackstone and if I'm inside, I won't get any. 

They're not getting away with this one! 

Thursday, April 29, 2021

My tummy didn't feel so good

This past Monday was a beautiful day! Mom was home and working on the patio so I got to be outside for a long time. I loved it! I had my squeaky ball and I chewed on it for hours! 

But I also ate some grass, which Mom doesn't like for me to do. I forgot it upsets my tummy. 

And you should have heard the noises my tummy made! Moans and groans, gurgles and whistles. I didn't know I could make noises like that. It would have been awesome if I hadn't felt a little green. Like the grass. Maybe I should word associate. Don't eat green things or I'll feel green.

Mom gave me some chicken broth and I felt better. I'd do a lot to get chicken broth, but maybe eating grass isn't a good thing. 

Maybe I should listen to Mom and Dad when they tell me to stop nibbling on stuff. 

Sunday, April 25, 2021

They gave me no warning!

Mom and Dad have this annoying little saying - live and learn. Uh-huh. I learned yesterday. 

I learned I do not like the drive-thru car wash. Nope. 

Yesterday, the parents needed to go to Lowe's. Now, I'm always up for a trip to the home improvement store. Like, up into my truck! I love, love, love my big blue truck! What was I saying?

Oh, yeah. Trip to Lowe's. It's a good thing. 

Mom opened my door for me, Dad got in to drive, and off we went. Then Mom told Dad she'd pay for it if he'd run the truck through the car wash. My truck really did have a thick yellow coating of pollen on it, for sure. I thought the words "car wash" sounded vaguely familiar, but I wasn't sure what she meant. 

I think I might remember next time. The car wash is a pretty scary place. 

It started out fine. We were in my truck and Dad never drives it into places he can't drive out of. Then there was a loud voice and an even louder beeping sound, and then water sprayed all over my truck until Dad stopped. He stopped in this tunnel! I didn't like that much. Then it got worse! 

These funky pillars with brushes started to move. The brushes started to spin and pound on my truck! I did not like this! But Mom and Dad sat there like it was the most normal thing in the world! Why?!

I started to growl and Mom put her hand on my chest and I know to shut up when she does that. 

And then it got worse!

The brushes stopped and Dad drove forward and these big vent things blew air and it was freaky loud. I did not like that sound at all! 

And do you know what the very worst of the worst was? I didn't even get a snackie for living through all that. 

***Note... Deuce, this is your Dad. What about that cheeseburger I bought you on the way home?***

Sunday, April 4, 2021

Walking season 2021 is here! Yea!

I get confused sometimes. Mom and Dad said the weather has "broken." Huh? I didn't know we could break the weather? Humans can do that? That's freaky.

Whatever they did, I'm happy they did it. Today it's sunny and 66F outside with no wind. Apparently, that's what Mom's been waiting for. When she asked me if I wanted to go for a long walk, well of course I said yes! 

Really, Mom, you don't need to ask me if I want to go anywhere. If you're going, then I'm going. If you say okay. 

Mom has a new video camera so she took video of almost the entire walk so she could learn what she needs to do to get a good video of me. Well, me and everything else. I think she'd rather drop a cheap camera in the creek than her expensive phone, and I get that. 

The pond loop is a lot of fun. We get to cross three big creeks and a bunch of small run-offs from mountain springs. I'm not afraid to jump right in, but Mom likes to keep her hiking boots dry. She rock hops to get across. 

It's fun being out in the woods. There are lots of things to smell and hear but I never forget I have a job to do and that's to help protect Mom. We saw two joggers, three hikers, and two other dogs. It was all cool, though. I knew right away they wouldn't bother us. The other dogs were really good, but not quite as well-behaved as me. I walked right past them without stopping - Mom had put me on my leash - and I kept going. I didn't bark, whine, pull on the leash, or anything! Mom taught me that when I'm on the leash, I'm to walk beside her and stay there. So that's what I did. 

When we got home, Mom told me we walked almost three miles. It would have been more but we zipped across the woods in one place once Mom realized the creeks were running so deep. That was fun, too. 

Mom thinks I'm really good company for on a long walk, but I think SHE'S the best company I could have. She always takes a bunch of snackies along just for me and I get extra since I'm burning off the calories. 

I'm Deuce and I'm REALLY glad walking season is here!

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Where's mine?

You know, it's tough to be the dog in this house. What does a guy have to do to get a donut all to himself? 

I'm a good dog. I don't jump on people and knock them down. I don't bark too much. I never, ever pee-pee inside the den, er, house. And even with all the factual evidence in MY favor, I don't get a donut to call my own. 

Yes, Mom and Dad always give me little biteys of their donuts, but it's not the same. The dog is a second-class citizen here. I guess I should be happy I rank above the cat. 

Mom - I love donuts! You know this! I'd be so grateful if just once I could have a whole donut!

Dad - Can't you convince Mom it would be okay to give me a whole donut? 

My patience isn't infinite. I'm a dog. Sooner or later you won't be watching closely enough and I will snatch the prize.

Don't say you were never warned. 

Friday, March 26, 2021

Black panther spotted in my yard!

 Mom thinks she's funny with that blog title, but she's not far off. Loki is black and slinky, and he is a nasty feline. And he does catch mice and moles, so that's a good thing. 

He's a strange little cat, though. He's like one-tenth my size and yet he attacks me, which is pretty brave of him. It annoys me to no end. How would you like it if he bapped you in the face all the time? You wouldn't. He keeps his claws pulled in which is the ONLY reason I haven't taught him a serious lesson. 

Mom and I go outside every morning and take a little stroll so I can do my outside activities. This morning, Loki walked along. He behaved so it was cool. When Mom stopped to take pictures of the daffodils, Loki hopped up on a stump and acted like a big dog, er, big cat. He thinks he's the king of the mountain or something. Of course, Mom had to take his picture. She took one of me smelling the flowers, so it's okay. Having a picture of Loki on my blog every once in a while is not so bad.

It's a good thing to stop and smell the flowers, especially for Mom. I'm with her all the time and I know she's always busy taking care of me and Dad, and even Loki. She said maybe tomorrow we'd get to go on a long walk, maybe take the pond loop again. I'd really like that and she'd get to see if the old, abandoned homestead still has daffodils bloom in the spring. 

And no, I did not tinkle on the daffodils! 

I'm Deuce and I have a little couth. 

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

We have an interloper and I don't like it

 Now I know what, or is it who, I keep hearing at night. It's a raccoon! I don't like this at all!

Mom's not really happy about it either, let me tell ya. She looked at Dad and said, "GET THE GUN." Now those are serious words from Mom. 

According to the time stamp on the trail com, Mom and Dad need to be lurking around outside around 5:00 AM. Which could really be 4:00 AM now. I'm still confused about the time change. Anyway, this critter must go and we don't care if it leaves by way of a cage or worse. Much, much worse for the critter. 

Mom and Dad told me raccoons carry a disease called rabies which is really pretty horrible. Loki and I have had shots to keep us from getting it, although Loki is due his booster. They don't give people shots unless they're exposed, which is sort of dangerous. 

If a dog or a human gets rabies, they die. End of their story. 

So the critter has to go. That's the end of its story.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

I have a really cool backyard

I'm a country boy, and my backyard is really cool! Except at night when it's really, really dark. I make Mom go with me when it's dark. Anyway...

My backyard is a country dog's dream. I have room to run or just take a leisurely stroll and sniff. Boy, is there a lot to sniff! I can tell right away how many deer have been in my yard with just one sniff. 

It's a big yard to police, but I'm up for the job. I know every tree, every rock, every little thing in my yard. Sometimes Mom and Dad will move big rocks or pick up a bunch of sticks to put on the burn pile and I know when they do. 

I really do have a good dog's life. A warm bed to sleep in with Mom and Dad, plenty of food and water, a big yard for amusement, and best of all, I have Mom and Dad. I'm very lucky.

When I was little, Mom didn't allow me to go outside on my own. Sometimes I even had to be on a leash. I don't mind a leash. It's like I'm connected to Mom and that's cool. But it's pretty cool she trusts me to go sniff around and do dog things, too. She knows that most of the time I keep her in view because I don't want her to get away from me. 

My woods are more fun this time of year because I can see everything. In the summer, everything is green and growing and I lose sight-lines. And there are no ticks right now. Ticks are the worst!

The backyard is fun, but it's always good to get back inside the den, er, house, and warm up my paws. Yep, I sure have a good life. 

Saturday, March 13, 2021

I helped by staying out of the way!

Deuce helps make garden racks
The weather was great today! Not too cold, not too hot, just right for Mom, Dad, and me being outside. Mom had all this garden stuff she wanted to do and she needed Dad's expertise with the cordless drill to get it done today. I helped by staying out of the way. I mean, the sun was sooooo warm and my fur is black and it was sooooo nice to just flop in the grass and feel the warmth of the sun on my toes. 

We have an old pool pad beside the front porch. My parents used to put a pool on it but it's gotten sort of dangerous for Dad to climb in and out of a pool so Mom's using the spot for what she calls her garden corral. Dad helped put down a new tarp, build the racks, and get them set in place. 

Here's the problem with all this. So Mom is growing veggies. 

Peppers. I can't eat them.
Cucumbers. I don't like them.
Radishes. Yuk.
Spinach. Double yuk yuk! 
The Garden Corral ready to go

Carrots. Um... maybe, but probably not.
Lettuce- four kinds. No, no, no.
Peas. Nope.
Tomatoes. No.
Pumpkin. Yes! But I have to wait so long to get some!
Watermelon. Heck, yea!! Make me some frozen treats! 

Are Dad and I glad there's no kale on this list? YES!

So as you can see, there's not a lot for lil' ol' me to enjoy in the garden corral. I have a sneaky suspicion that if I forget myself and pee-pee on any of Mom's grow bags, I'll be in the deep doggie doo-doo. 

Tomorrow, Dad's getting on the John Deere 1023 and helping Mom do a few more things. Cousin Dave gave Mom some blocks to build a wall down on the turn of the driveway. Those careless Amazon delivery drivers have turned the corner into a muddy mess by driving up the bank. Mom and Dad say some nice concrete will stop them from being able to do that. It's a shame Mom won't let me scare any of the delivery drivers.

Not that I'd EVER scare Mary the Mail Lady. She's pretty cool. She likes me a lot and always gives me a treat. Plus, Dad says she knows how to drive slowly and is respectful of our lane, not like the Amazon drivers. Mom used to get my treats through an Amazon subscription and she canceled it because the drivers are so disrespectful. She told me not to worry, though. She can get my snackies at lots of other places. 

The thing is that if this silly garden corral makes Mom happy, Dad and I will go along with it. If Mom wants to make pickles, we want to watch. If Mom wants a big salad made with lettuce she grew in a grow bag, we'll stand back and let her enjoy it. And if Mom wants to raise a steer for steaks, we're all in!

How about it, Mom? Got any plans for beef?

****Note from Mom****
Sorry, baby. You know I'd turn a calf into a pet and then where would we be?

Sunday, March 7, 2021

This seed thing is taking over!


I think Mom has gone round the bend. The sun is shining, true, but the ground is still chilly. I know this because I don't wear shoes! I'm outside running around in my bare paws! 

Mom says it's March, and March is the time to start planting seeds. There are little seed trays in the front window and two butt-ugly red pots on the sunroom floor in front of the door. Plus, Mom was just outside mixing garden soil, cow manure, and potting mix together in the one cart. Then she filled two grow bags with what she'd mixed and mumbled something about radishes and spinach. They don't sound very good to me, especially the spinach. Dad doesn't like it so neither do I. 

It was forty degrees outside this morning and seventy-eight in the little greenhouse. Mom was in the greenhouse talking to the celery. I just don't get it, but I'm getting worried about her. I've tasted celery and it's not my thing, just like radishes and spinach. I know a decent snackie when I smell one and seeds miss the mark. 

And Mom fussed me for something I didn't do! Okay, I did think about it, but she said "no" and I stopped. How often do I get the chance to roll in cow manure? Never, that's how often. And it was only a little clump that dropped out of the bag, not the entire bag. 

Some days I just don't have any fun at all. 

Saturday, February 27, 2021

I protest this unfair treatment!


A long time ago I said I wished I had thumbs so I could help Mom carry stuff. I was a lot younger then, like only one.  A lot has changed since then. I've recently decided I should stop coveting thumbs. Like just yesterday I decided. Dad has thumbs and it didn't help him cook. 

Now, Dad's a pretty good cook. I love, love, love it when he cooks eggs. Eggs are good, well, maybe not as good as steak, but good. Getting steak in this house just became problematic.

Dad's also a good bread baker. Mom and I talk about this sometimes when I'm in her office begging for snackies. She tells me I had bites of bread and that's all I get until morning. I do not like this but I'm a good boy and I listen. 

Soooo, Dad was making something called pita pockets. They are de-lish, for the record. He used his favorite skillet, the one he sears steaks in, for his project. He also used a rubber spatula in a hot skillet. 

And this is why there will be no steak fat for the dog, a.k.a. ME, in the foreseeable future. 

This is cruel and unusual punishment. I protest! 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Should I be worried?

I don't know if I should be worried or not. About Mom, that is. I'm fine. It's Mom who's having a meltdown over my chin. The hairs on my chin to be more precise. Some of them are white. I don't know what that means but Mom is freaking out. 

I should freak out over her taking a picture of my chin. It's not my good side, you know. 

Huh. There really are a few white hairs there. What's up with that? 

I sure hope I don't have to start coloring the hair on my chin the way Mom colors the hair on her head. I would not like that at all! 

I know I'm only five, so are white hairs a bad thing? I'm a descendant of the St. John's Dog, a Labrador Retriever. I should be all black all over with no white so maybe this isn't good. A few white hairs due to age are ok. 

Due to age? I'm only FIVE? Maybe Mom is right to freak out! I think I'll join her!

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

It's a video of ME!

Mom snuck one in on me. I knew she was taking pictures of the snow last Sunday, but she got me on video, too. We really did have a lot of fun going out and walking around. 

Then we had to move the trail cam. We were hoping to get some really good shots of the fox (yeah, Mom wants to shoot him but that's another story), but we didn't. So we put it back in the corner of the yard. 

Mom put the separate little videos together into one longer vid so it plays better. But I gotta say it's sort of spooky hearing Mom's voice come out of her computer. 

Way to freak me out, Mom. 

We hope you enjoy our "movie." I'm Deuce and I'm a STAR!

Sunday, February 7, 2021

It's a winter wonderland!

It snowed again! Snow can be a lot of fun if Mom puts on her boots and goes outside, which she's done twice already today. The first time it was still snowing, and we walked all over my yard so she could take some pictures. The second time was to brush the snow off her car and both pickups. Not fun for me at all. 

Mom says today is Pop's 111th birthday. I never got a chance to know Pop 'cause, you know, I'm only FIVE, and Pop has been gone since before I was born. Mom told me a story about a dog she used to have that left home to live with Pop. Mom was working and Pop was home all day and the dog was lonely so she moved out. I'd NEVER do that to Mom. 

I found a lot of deer tracks on our walk, but they were a few hours old. I can tell. My nose is pretty good for things like that. It was fun going all the way around the yard and through the woods, but my paws got cold. 

We've been inside since then, except for that quick outside run to clean the vehicles. It's too bad Mom isn't in the mood to take me for a ride. They went for pizza yesterday and didn't take me along. I don't know what's up with. Maybe my feet were too muddy, or something. 

Mom made a couple of photo collages from the pictures she took this morning. Boy, does Mom know bad words when her picture software doesn't do what she wants. I stared at her until she told me I was right, she shouldn't cuss, and then she gave me all the snackies in the treat jar! And refilled it! It's a good thing when my telepathic messages get through to her. 

I'm not sure what we're going to do for the rest of the day. I know we'll go outside just before dark for a short walk so I can do all my outside activities, but other than that, who knows? 

Is it spring yet?

Saturday, January 30, 2021

I did my best to be charming, and it worked!

No doubt about it, I'm a good dog. Mom and Dad tell me that all the time - every day, in fact! Sometimes I can be a bit bratty, but they don't mind. I think they just want me to be me. I'm down with that!

It's January and that means it's been really cold. Dad says we're going to get snow soon. He says we'll probably have snow on the ground when we wake up tomorrow. I hope I can sleep but I might get too excited. That could be bad. If I just doze and get too restless, then Mom wakes up and that's not a good thing. Mom doesn't like to be awake at 3:00 AM. 

Since it's going to snow... gee, I hope Dad is wrong about that. If it snows, Mom won't want to go for a long walk like we took today. We had fun today. Sure, it was cold, but Mom put on her long coat, a knit hat and gloves, and off we went. 

We didn't get far at all before we spotted Cousin Dave outside with that little heathen Sadie. She was misbehaving and not responding when Cousin Dave told her to come. She's really young and that's why she's just a nutter. Did I tell you she jumps all over me when she sees me? She does! And her paws are cold! Anyway, Mom told me to come, sit, and stay, so of course, I did. I sat at Mom's feet until Sadie did what she had to do and they went inside. Yep. I got snackies for that! 

Once they were inside, Mom and I continued our walk. We met two people walking on our trail, and then a guy on a bicycle. We were surprised to see people on our trail today because it was cold. Maybe they thought the same thing Mom did, that they'd better get outside before it snows. 

The guy on the bike said I was a good dog because I sat beside Mom until he passed. Once he was gone, Mom agreed! 

So if I'm so good, why wasn't Mom getting me a snackie out of her pocket? I thought I'd better ask, so I stared at her. She kept messing with her glove like she didn't get the message. So I offered up a paw and she took my picture. That's when I figured it out. Pictures and snackies don't happen with gloves on. 

I'm Deuce! I told you I'm a smart dog! 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

It's my birthday! I'm five!

Today is my birthday! I'm five years old! 

Is that old? Mom says "not really." What the squeaky-toy does that mean? Am I old or not?

I don't feel old. I feel pretty good. I felt a lot older when I hurt my cruciate tendon, but Mom got the right medicines for me and everything is good to go as long as I don't overdo it. Mom is pretty careful to make sure I don't. 

But come to think of it, sleeping on the big bed does feel better than sleeping on the floor. I don't think I've always felt that way. I used to think I had to be on the floor at Mom's feet when she works in her office, but I can see her just fine from the big bed. So it makes sense to sleep on the soft bed, right? 

Mom and Dad wanted a video of me to help them remember me at age five. Humans must really have trouble remembering as they get older. Will I get like that? I'd hate to forget how to play ball, or how to behave. And what if I forget how to listen to Dad? He needs me, you know. My job is to look out for him when Mom's not home. 

Maybe this being five isn't all it's cracked up to be. I guess I'll have to do like Mom says and take it one day at a time. Until then, maybe Dad will take me out and we can play ball again! That would be a swell birthday present! 


Sunday, January 3, 2021

Mom had all my blogs put together

 I learned that we've been blogging together for almost five years. That's like my whole life! It's a pretty cool way for me and Mom to remember the important things we've done together. And the fun stuff, too!

Understanding how it all works is Mom's job. I just get to be me and we like it that way. Mom's a writer and she gets to be herself when she blogs. Dad's job is to reason things out and tell us which end of which cable goes in which slot to make the television work. Loki's job is to catch vermin. 

Okay. Now Mom is staring at me so I need to get serious. My job is to look out for Mom and Dad, especially on a walk.

I'd better get back on topic so I can get a snackie when we're finished blogging.

We started Deuce's Day to record my life. Mom says I'm probably the only dog she'll have all her memories of recorded. Mom talked about her other dogs, the ones that came before me, over at her writing blog. Some of it is pretty sad but sometimes a dog's life is sad. 

Anyway, Mom went to this place online called Blog to Print and they put all my blogs through the end of 2020 into one .pdf for only $10! Now we don't have to worry about losing the history of everything we've done together. 

Mom and Dad told me we've started a new year. It doesn't feel any different. My birthday is coming up and I'll be five. Time really does fly when you're having fun! 

Time flies when we go for a walk, too. What do you say, Mom? Think we can get outside today?