Wednesday, August 24, 2022

Meat for breakfast!


I must have been a very good dog! Mom got me a whole case of canned meat! It's all for me! And it's meat! Yum! Yumyumyumyum!

I wonder what I did to get this? I don't think it was because I knocked Mom down and got her hurt.  And it's probably not because I ask for tidbits from Mom and Dad's dinner plate. Hmmm. Maybe it's because I got tired of dry kibble and stopped eating. Mom always freaks out when I don't eat or drink, but sometimes a guy just isn't hungry.

Okay, I'm a Labrador Retriever and we, as a breed, have a reputation of eating everything in sight, but I've never been like that. Mom has never let me go without having food available, so I guess I don't have to worry about it the way some dogs do. I know how lucky I really am.

Mom says I'm supposed to get three cans a day, but she only gives me one for breakfast. That's because I have dry food in my dish in case I need more. Most days I just eat breakfast and have a few "good boy" snackies throughout the day and that's enough. But every couple of days I'll clean my plate - my breakfast comes on a paper plate - and then I'll finish off what's in my bowl. I think Mom and Dad trust me to eat what I need and stop. I like to stay svelte, you know. 

Mom put my meat on something called a subscription so it will be delivered by one of those sneaky blue vans that don't make any noise. I hate that! They can sneak up on me and I do not like it. But I guess if I get meat out of it, I'll learn to adjust. 

I'm Deuce and meat makes me a happy dog. Thanks, Mom!



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Wednesday, August 17, 2022

I think I've been insulted


Mom and I got up early today and went for a little hike back the old homestead trail. I was sooooo glad to get out and go. Mom is still having trouble with her hip - it's been like ten weeks now - but she gets better every day. She said it didn't hurt at all after our hike so we might be able to go again tomorrow.

But I digress...

It was a really nice morning with the sunlight filtering through the trees and it was cool so there were, like, no bugs hovering around my face. I liked that part a lot. 

Mom had some work to do in her garden, so we didn't play around in the creeks. We did our walk and came home. 

Oh! And we did see Cousin Sadie on the way back. She did her normal crazed jumping at me, but then she sat down and behaved. I was pretty happy about that. She's not a bad dog, she's just young. She'll learn. 

But I'm digressing again...

I didn't know until just now Mom took a picture of my rump. She told me that the most frequent view she has of me when we go on a walk unless she has a snackie in her hand. It's not that I'm being a bad dog, but she knows I like to lead the way. 

But really, Mom! A picture of my butt? That is not my best side! 

I just wish she'd keep up with me! 


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Saturday, August 13, 2022

My cat Loki stares at me


I have a cat and his name is Loki. Okay, so maybe he's really Mom's cat, but she keeps telling me he's mine, like my little brother. What if I don't want him? 

He was cute when he was a little kitten, but now? Maybe not so much. He likes to jump at me and bat at my face. I do not like this. 

And he drinks from my water bowl. And if I get canned food when he happens to be watching, he wants to nibble some. I do not like this, either! 

And sometimes he sleeps on my bed! I really do not like this! There's only room for me, Mom, and Dad on the bed. Loki can sleep anywhere else he wants and I tell him so in no uncertain terms. 

I guess Loki is okay - for a cat. He spends a lot of time on the patio and he never claws the screens. He just looks out and watches the birds. Sometimes he'll go catch one, but not too often. Mom says he'll never catch healthy birds because they're too fast for him. He catches old ones that would probably die when the weather turns cold. 

But here's the thing - all of a sudden Loki is in the house all the time. What's up with that? It's like he's tired of fresh air or something. He watches me ALL THE TIME! Last night he sat and stared at me for a long time and he never blinked! He's making me nervous. I wonder what he's up to but Mom says I should ignore him. 

Seriously, Mom? I can't ignore him. I can't turn my tail on him because he'll jump at me! You say he's trying to play, but I say he's attacking! 

Mom! He's looking at me again!



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Friday, July 29, 2022

I missed all the excitement


Sometimes it's good to be the dog, and sometimes it's not. Yesterday was a "not" day. There were big goings-on in my front yard and the parents trapped me in the house. I didn't get to keep an eye on them. They heard me barking, though, you can bet on that. What happened is this -

There are a lot of trees in my yard and Mom and Dad monitor them. When branches break, the parents drag them to a brush pile and when it rains, they burn the pile. This is fine because I get to assist. We all sit in the pickup with coffee and snackies and watch the fire. Yesterday was different.

Apparently, some trees can get so big they could fall over and crush the den...er...house. Mom and Dad don't want that to happen. They called a guy called a tree trimmer to come and cut down two big maple trees that were no longer healthy.

How can trees not be healthy? I don't get it. I didn't do it, either! I don't think I ever peed on either of those trees! 

Anyway, the guy came and cut down the trees. I could hear the chainsaw and I barked. And when the big limbs hit the ground, I barked louder! And when the trunks hit the group, I bitched a fit!!!!! What were they doing out there????

FINALLY Mom let me outside so I could check it out and then I did pee on the trees. On the very top leaves, too! 

Mom calls all the mess in the front yard "carnage." I call it a good thing. It's going to take a lot of brush burning to clean it up and that means a lot of snackies for me and a few naps in my pickup. 

I'm Deuce and I know when I just hit the jackpot! 



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Wednesday, June 29, 2022

That's a bird of a different color!


Settle a debate for me. Mom says the strange bird on the roof is pretty, and I say NOT! You can't really see it in the picture, but trust me. That thing has beady little eyes. Like, scary beady eyes. And it stared at me and didn't blink. Mom gets some weird ideas sometimes. 

Mom told me to leave the bird alone so it could fly home. No worries, Mom. I don't want to get involved. I'm sure between Loki, the fox, and the Red-tailed hawk, the matter will be dealt with but Mom would prefer the owner come to get him instead.  

And what is a pigeon doing all the way out here? Pigeons don't live in the woods. They live in a town or in a coop. 

I'm going to ignore the pigeon, I don't care if it's descended from the dinosaurs. I'm descended from the St. John's Dog, so there! 

I'm a smart dog, and problem pigeons are above my pay grade. I'm going to find a nice cool, quiet place and take a nap while Mom and Dad are working on their computers. The parents will have to handle this one without me. 



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Thursday, June 23, 2022

I'm not down with this tree branch

It rained kittens and puppies yesterday! I knew it was going to rain because I'm Deuce and I know things. And I heard Dad tell Mom it was going to rain, but that was later. It rained sideways! I'm really glad Mom took me outside BEFORE it started. 

And one bolt of lightning hit pretty close to our house and there was a big POP! The parents investigated to see if there was any damage and Mom found that a breaker had tripped. I don't know for sure what that means, but if Mom's not excited, I'm not excited. 

So with the rain came a lazy afternoon and evening. Dad was watching gun educational stuff on the television so Mom invited me to go to her office to watch television with her. She watched some old show about a hound dog named Reckless Walton, and I settled down for a nap.

This morning, it was still wet and misty outside. I had no choice but to go out to do my outside activities and that's when me and Mom discovered a tree branch had blown down on the John Deere. This did not make us happy at all. Look at me. Do I look like a happy dog? Noooooo.  Tree branches belong in trees, not on the ground. 

Mom's not too worried. She said it's too small a branch to have done any harm and it wasn't a direct hit. She'll pull the tractor out and put the brush crusher on it to move the branch to a burn pile, and then Dad can put the bucket back on and use the tractor to level out a few ruts in the gravel in the lane. There's always something to do after it rains.

I just hope nothing else falls on my John Deere. My parents depend on it to get stuff done. Besides, it's fun to watch. Like Mom says. It's cheap entertainment. 



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Friday, June 10, 2022

My "new" van is here!


I have a new ride! It's red! I like it!

I've been wondering what happened to my truck. It's been missing for a few days and now I know it's because Dad sold it. I sure hope he doesn't want to sell me. I'd be sad. 

Seriously, I know he never would because Mom would put a hurt on him. I'm her furbaby and that's all there is to that. 

Anyway.... I have a new van and I think I like it. It's really easy to jump into. Mom and Dad put the back row of seats down into this compartment, then did the same thing with one of the seats in the second row. I have gobs and gobs of room! 

Dad said it's a 2015 Town & Country, which is not exactly what he was looking for, but this van only has 39,000 miles on it. I'm not sure about that. A mile is a long way to walk so I can't even imagine doing that thirty-nine thousand times, but Mom agrees the mileage is "good."

Have I mentioned that the parents have some odd ideas? 

I guess it's okay that Dad sold my truck. Dad is going to take us to McDonald's for supper in the van. I love Mickey D's! I can have my very own puppy burger! I think he really wants to drive it and that's why we're going, but it doesn't matter. It will be fun! 

And maybe he'll stop at the ice cream place on the way back. I'll have to be sneaky and let him know I want him to turn in there. 

I'm Deuce. I know I can convince him. Convincing Dad is my superpower! 



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Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Walking down a country road


This morning, Mom was ready to go for a walk! I can tell you that ten days is forever in dog days. FOREVER!! I'm really glad Mom wanted to take me along, too. I mean, I did confess my faux pas where I knocked her down. I'm still sad about that one. 

We left the house as soon as Mom finished doing some work in her garden. The weather bug told Mom it was going to rain later in the day so she wanted to go early. I don't know what a weather bug is, but it's in her phone. What if it dies in there? 

We had the old homestead trail all to ourselves, which was really nice. I got to be off-leash and really poke and sniff around. And Mom sang to me about walking down a country road. Who's JT? He wrote the song. 

Then we came to some horseshi...er...horse pucky. Mom told me to "leave it" in no uncertain terms. I know that tone of voice and I jumped away from it. One good sniff made me remember what happened the last time - SOAP happened! 

Mom said her Fitbit recorded over 5,000 steps for her and that was a lot for her hip but it felt okay. If it feels okay tomorrow morning, we'll do a short walk to keep it loose. We're not going to overdo it too quickly. 

The weather bug was right about the rain. Mom and Dad both are at their computers. Mom is playing with Photoshop so I stayed with Dad. I have to remember to spend time with him now that Mom's retired. Me and Dad have been buds all my life, and Mom being home won't change that except when it's time to go walking. 

JT is right. My paws know where they want to go when we walk down a country road. 




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Sunday, June 5, 2022

What's a faux pas?


It's a valid question, and I, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, have an answer.

A faux pas is when your actions, such as knocking Mommy down in the middle of the creek and she gets hurt, cause you embarrassment. I'm sure that beneath my black fur my skin was red. It had to be. Here's what happened. 

Mom and I went for a walk, and on the way home, a stick had fallen across my little plunge pool. It's a deep spot and I can get my belly wet so I love it! But I couldn't get in because of the stick. So Mom stepped into the creek to move the stick and I got so excited thinking she might throw the stick for me that I lunged for it and knocked her down. She fell pretty hard, too. She wasn't expecting me to do that. 

The water is really cold and the creek bed is very rocky. Mom has a big bruise on her left hip, her left wrist got jammed and swelled up a bit, and her right side ribs hurt. It could have been really bad. I don't know what I would have done if she couldn't have gotten up. I'm not Lassie. No way would I leave her side. 

We were lucky. She got up and we made it home, but it's been over a week and we haven't gone very far. I'm really sorry I did that, but Mom says it was her fault for not watching to see what I was going to do. She knows I can be impulsive when I'm playing. 

I hope Mom's bruise is gone soon so we can go on walks again. I'll be more careful the next time Mom steps into a creek. Honest. 



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Sunday, May 22, 2022

Why would they do that to me?


It was a beautiful morning! I even thought Loki chasing some poor unfortunate rodent through the yard was fun to watch! Mom did not agree, so I tried to play it cool, but she knew I was interested.

I was interested right up to the point when I realized Mom had on her hat. Her hat means a walk! Her hat is a good thing even if it does smell like bug repellant. I forgot all about Loki because a walk with Mom trumps everything. It's my very favorite thing to do. 

We got to the end of the lane and I looked at Mom to see which way we should go. She said, "left," and that's a new word I'm learning. I went in the correct direction and got TWO snackies for that! I always learn better with snackies. 

But when we got up to the old reservoir, I was not pleased. Someone had put big sticks across my pool. Why would they do that to me? And to other dogs? Some of us enjoy splashing in the creek. Some of us are big dogs and we need more room to splash. I was sad someone would do that, but Mom was sort of angry. She thinks teenagers must have done it. They probably believe no one would ever see what they did, but when it comes to the trails we walk, Mom sees more than I do. 

Mom removed some of those big sticks and says she'll do the rest next time. She'll be sure to wear her really old walking shoes because it won't matter if they get wet. And that's the thing. This creek is really easy to step across just a couple of feet downstream of my little splashing hole. 

People need to leave things alone. The woods are for everyone. Not every furry human is as lucky as I am. Some of us may only get to enjoy a splash hole once in our entire life, so don't ruin it for us, okay? 



Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, black Labrador Retriever, country dogs, simple country pleasures, a dog's life, a writer's life, walking in the woods, playing in the creek, black lives matter 

Monday, May 2, 2022

Not again!


Cousin Dave... I love Cousin Dave! He looks out for me all the time! And he always tells me I'm a good dog, too!

Where was I? 

Oh, yeah. Cousin Dave had to go to a visitation, and he asked Mom if Sadie could come up and stay with us while he was gone. Mom didn't ask me, she just said "sure!" 

Really, Mom. You could've asked me first, you know. Sadie makes me nervous. She jumps all over me and you know I don't like that. What's a guy to do? Cousin Dave looked out for me when Dad was in the hospital, so of course, Mom had to look out for Sadie. I do get it. 

So Sadie came up and she was all excited to be here. She went round and round and round until I had to show her my excellent teeth. I didn't snap at her or anything, but she saw my lip curl up and she stopped making me dizzy. 

We had a little chat, and then everything was okay. I stretched out beside Dad's chair and we touched noses, and then Sadie went over and sat on the other side of Mom's chair. 

I think Sadie is finally growing up. She didn't jump on me - not once! That's so much better than before when she'd paw at my face. I don't like that. But this was fine. Well, until she sniffed my rump. That was rude, but I smacked her with my tail so she might not do that again. 

Cousin Dave came and got her and they walked home. I guess it'll be fine if Sadie comes to visit again. And maybe we'll go on walks together this summer. Heck, I might even like if she plays in the water with me. We'll have to see how that goes. 

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Ok, so it's neat

 

Mom decided she'd better go through the papers on her credenza. She had to scan and then shred a few papers, go through some old receipts she kept in case she needed to return anything, and file a couple of things. It's all stuff she has to do to keep the Manor running smoothly. BUT... do you see what I see? 

Look closer at the picture. 

There are TWO clear glass antique canning jars on Mom's credenza. 

And they are EMPTY. 

They should be full of MY treats! 

What gives, Mom? Why are the treat jars empty? Don't you love little Deucie any longer? Was I bad?

No. I was not bad. You always tell me I'm a GOOD DOG! So why no treats in the jar, hmm? 

I don't know about this whole retirement thing. Mom says she'll be here to take care of me every day. That we'll be able to go on long walks and play in all the creeks. She can go to the store whenever she wants to make sure we don't run out of stuff. 

So... why no treats in my jars? 



Thursday, April 14, 2022

I think I'm missing something

I'm confused. Mom was home a lot for a while, and we got to spend a lot of time together. Now she's gone back to going to her office in town every day. What's a protégé, and why does Mom need to spend time with her? Mom should be spending time with ME! 

Mom told me she only has to leave me and Dad 20 more times to go to her town office. TWENTY!! That's an awful lot! At least I think it is, but I'm a dog and sometimes we dogs don't count very accurately. But it seems like a lot! 

I really want Mom to be home with me and Dad so we can go on long walks together. I love, love, love to walk on the trails and splash around in the creek. It's a lot of fun for a Lab (that's me) and Mom and Dad like to watch me have fun. 

Of course, when Mom is home, Dad and I will lose some nap time unless we can convince Mom that naps are a vital part of our day. I bet if I hopped on the bed in the middle of the afternoon, Mom would join me. I'll have to try and remember to do that. 

I'll have to watch Mom and Dad pretty closely the next few weeks until whatever is going on gets resolved. Dogs don't like a lot of schedule changes, at least the smart ones don't. 

I'm Deuce and I'm pretty smart. I know how to observe my parents and figure them out. 



Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Is it spring yet?

 


Mom and Dad told me it's spring. I think they lied to me. It was only 21F when we got out of bed this morning. Do you know how cold that is on my bare paws? It's COLD!

And boy, did the wind blow! And it snowed! The parents called it a snow squall but snow is snow and snow is cold. Sure, it melted really fast, but I feel very lucky I don't have to live outside in a squall. Some dogs do, you know. People, too. It makes me sad.

Mom tells me not to worry, that I'll always have a warm place to sleep. I wonder if Mom and Dad have room for just one more dog that needs a home. Our den is sorta small, but we could probably squeeze in together. I'll have to talk to Dad about that and see what he says. 

We did a daffodil check around the yard on Saturday. At least, I think it was Saturday. I'm a dog and I get confused by the days sometimes. Mom and I went all around so she could video the daffodils. I don't care much about them, but they make Mom happy,

I sure hope the cold weather blows out of here soon. We've only been on a couple of long walks so far this year and I'm itching to get going! Every time Mom stands up, so do I. I'm not going to let her get out the door without me. No way. I'm too quick for that to happen.

I guess I'll just have to be a bored couch potato pup a little while longer. 

Is it really spring yet?







Saturday, March 12, 2022

For no reason at all


Mom is a little nuts sometimes. The other day we were relaxing in the living room with Dad, and she made me get up. And I was comfy, too. 

Anyway, I got up to see what she wanted and she took my picture. 'Good one!' she told me. 

But why? I don't get it. She has a BIG folder full of pictures of 'lil 'ol me. I'm not kidding. 

Was a snackie involved? Nooooo. 

Turns out, she just wanted a picture of how I looked today. 

Mom is a little nuts sometimes. 




Sunday, March 6, 2022

Double for pancakes!

 


Mom. Dad.

Remember when I told you I'd snatch a donut one day? A whole donut? All for me! Well, it goes double for a stack of pancakes.

Pancakes! I love pancakes!

What do you mean I had a whole pancake with butter on it? I do not remember that. 

You'd better keep an eye on your plate.

Don't say you weren't warned. 




Thursday, February 3, 2022

Mom has a dealer?

Last night after we went to bed, Mom told me I should be a happy dog because we now have a dealer. 

Huh?

I watch television with Dad and I thought having a dealer was a bad thing, so why was Mom happy?

It turns out Mom has a new BEEF dealer and has put her name in for a quarter of beef next year. 

BEEF? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE BEEF! STEAK IS BEEF! Oh, Mom loves me so much!!!

Then again, it will be about a year until we get it. A year. That's a long time. I'll be seven years old by then. What if my teeth are gone? What if I forget how delicious steak is? A lot of things can happen in a year. I think it would be better if we have steak NOW. 

What do ya say, Mom? Can we have steak this weekend? Maybe steak and a chuck roast? Have I ever had a rump round? I see it on that picture and it looks like something I would love, love, love. 

I'm Deuce. Don't think for a moment I'm going to forget about this. 



 

Sunday, January 30, 2022

It's not a good thing, Loki


I have a cat named Loki. At least Mom says he belongs to me. He came here as a little kitten, which was fine, but then he grew up. 

I've tried to be kind to him. Honest. But he's just not friendly. He jumps at me and bats at my face and I do not like that. I don't know what to do about him.

He used to sleep on MY bed and I really didn't like that. Mom would move her feet and he'd attack them and I would be the one to get kicked. I did not like that. 

Loki is not too bright. He wants to go outside at night when it's too cold to be out. I'm smart enough to zip out, do what I need to do, and zip back in, but not him. He goes to the back door and begs Dad to go out so Dad opens the door for him. Then Loki runs around the house to the sunroom, which is Mom's office, and screeches at the door to be let back in. So of course, Mom opens the door for him. Half an hour later, he's back outside! He's mental!

This afternoon Mom sat down at her desk and there he was, sleeping on the floor in front of her desk chair.

I can tell you, from my own experience, that sleeping under the desk where Mom can roll her chair over you is not too smart. I've had the chair roll over my paw and my tail and I did not like it much. Not only will it scare the yelps out of you, but it also hurts! 

I'm Deuce, and I'm a good dog, but I think I'll mind my own business this time. Mom will just have to take care of it. Loki won't smack her in the face. 



Sunday, January 23, 2022

It was a short walk-about - my toes got cold


Saturday afternoons are generally pretty quiet around here when it's cold outside. That idiot cat Loki will go outside and stay outside in twenty-degree weather, but I'm Deuce and I'm smarter than that. Nevertheless... how's that for me learning a big word? Pretty good, huh?  Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Mom asked if I needed to go outside and I did so we went. I didn't realize right away she took her phone with her. I don't mind being videoed. I get it. Mom and Dad want to keep their memories of me for after I pass on. 

It was really cold! Right away my little toes curled up. Even Pinkie sort of stayed in when I went to pee-pee. It was cold!

Me and Mom walked out the lane a bit and it was icy. Mom had to walk over in the snow so she didn't slip. I was careful not to run, too. 

I liked getting outside even for just a few minutes, but I sure hope it warms up soon. I need to go for a real walk and that's not going to happen until the snow melts. In the meanwhile, I'll just have to deal with cold paws. 

Oh, yeah. Here's the link to the video Mom made.

Thursday, January 20, 2022

This is getting old -the snow, not me

This snow thing is getting old. The snow, not me. Okay, so I'm SIX now, but that's not old, even in dog years. 

The thing is we had snow last weekend and that was fine. Mom and I got to play some and it was all good. But this morning I'm feeling grumpy. The snow was cold on my paws and I just didn't need to, you know, pee-pee all that bad so I was not stepping off the walk.

Does that make me a bad dog? Mom didn't say that. She just laughed and took a short video. 

I'm sooooo glad I can amuse Mom on a daily basis