I am one busy dog!

I've been busy these last few months! Mom has been telling me we need to take a break and blog to let everyone know I'm still kicking. Take a break? Who is she kidding? I've been keeping her so busy she hasn't had time to blog for me. 

Seriously. I'm keeping her busy. We walk almost every day again, and I love it. Except for the fact Sadie goes along, that is. But I know how to avoid her, and Cousin Dave keeps her on the leash a lot. I don't need to be on the leash all the time because when Mom tells me to heel, I heel. She wouldn't tell me that if it wasn't important to do it until other people on the trails get past us. Apparently, I'm big enough to scare folks. That's funny! 

Mom and I go for a ride every afternoon, too. I've got to see all sorts of things. Do you know that cows are HUGE! And we've been working on firewood for weeks and weeks. I don't like the log splitter, but Mom says it's a handy-dandy thing to have. I find a sunny spot and relax to watch Mom work. 

Mom has something new for me almost every day. Most of the time it's fun, but sometimes I don't want to be "engaged." I want to sleep. I get happy when Mom settles at her computer and I can nap on the bed. I guess mental stimulation is a fine thing, but someone needs to explain to the vet that I'm almost ten years old and I need my beauty sleep. 

So there it is, Mom. Please let me get a good nap in today while you go blog for me. Okay?

Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, Deuce's Day, black Labrador Retriever, good dog, a writer's life, busy dog, dog walking, dog car ride, dog on bed, firewood, old dogs, country dogs, rural living

We've had a lot going on

We've had a lot going on, even though it's been hot, hot, hot. I've had to stay on my paws to keep up with Mom. She's been all over the place - in the garden, in the woodyard, on the tractor, using the weed whacker, mowing grass, and making videos. It's been a challenge to keep up with her! 

And speaking of making videos, she made one of me! And I look GOOD! You should check it out!

See for yourself what a good dog little Deucie really is! 

Christmas Eve -I'm going for a ride!

They can't fool me. I heard Mom say it yesterday. They're going to wait until dark and then ride around and look at all the Christmas lights. 

I hope they know I'm NOT staying home alone. I'm going to ride along tonight. Now all I have to do is convince my parents it's the best idea ever to take me along. 

Riding in Mom's car is fun. I can stretch out in the backseat and get really comfy. And when I'm comfy, I'm quiet. Heck, I might even be able to snap a nap. I'm going along.

They might try to sneak out on me, but I'm watching them. Call me Hawkeye because I won't miss a single move they make. When Mom has a purse, it's time to block the door. Better yet, since I always go out to peepee before they go anywhere, I'll refuse to come back inside. I'll go sit beside the Charger and wait on them. 

You just watch me. I'm a good dog. I deserve to go on a little ride. 

I. Am. Going. Along. 

Please, Mom?

_*_*_*_*_*_

UPDATE!  I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING FOR A RIDE!!!

What the hell was that?????

Let's be clear about one thing - I'm a good dog. There are some things that a good dog should be entitled to, and going out to peepee undisturbed is one of them. I'm sorry when I wake up Mom at 4:00 AM because I can't wait any longer, but even then I should be able to step into the yard without getting dive-bombed by bugs. 

And not just any bug. These are big fu... oops. I'm not supposed to say that word because I'm only five. Anyway, these are big bugs. Like bigger than me! And ugly! And loud! Don't they sleep?

Well, okay. Not really bigger than me - but BIG! 

So here's what happened. I had to go so I nudged at Mom until she woke up. There's a light on the patio that comes on when I trip the sensor. I like this because, hey, in the country. Dark. How would YOU like to walk into the grass in the dark with bare paws? You wouldn't. Anyway, the light came on and BAM!! About six of these big bugs hit me! 

I did not like this.

Mom says it's because they got confused and thought they could mate with me. Um... what? 

Nooo. I'm not that kind of guy! 

I finished up and hot-footed it back through the screen to the safety of my patio. We watched them swarm all over the light until it went out. Then Mom warned me the same thing will happen every time I go out to peepee after dark until all those weird bugs have mated, laid their eggs, and died. The whole thing takes about six weeks. 

Moving to Montana sounds like a really good idea.

I was never that young

Sadie

Sometimes I wonder if Mom will ever learn to consult me before she agrees to do something. I mean, I could head her off at the pass and save us both a lot of aggravation. Yesterday is a prime example of what I'm talking about. 

What am I talking about? Or should that be barking about? Maybe whining. Let's go with whining. (Mom says the correct word is "whinging" but I don't know that one.) ANYWAY, we babysat Sadie yesterday so Cousins Dave and Sharon could go out to dinner for their 40th wedding anniversary. 

I helped. Mom and Dad made me. I had no choice in the matter. 

Okay, so Sadie is a pretty little thing. She's family and I'm snipped and now Mom is glaring at me. Hey, I'm laying out the facts. Sadie is also very perky. She has a lot of energy whereas I'm more reserved as befits a descendant of the St. John's Dog. 

I should have known something was up when Mom walked down the driveway without me. She went to get Sadie so Sadie wouldn't see her Mom and Dad leave her behind and get abandonment issues.

What about me? Mom was quick enough to abandon ME! She never goes on walks without me but off she went. And she came back with Sadie! What about my issues? 

So Mom brings Sadie inside and Sadie jumps on me. I showed her the old pearly whites but she didn't seem to notice. Instead, she beat me on the nose with her paw! I did not like this and told her in no uncertain terms to stop it. She seemed really surprised and sat still and stared at me. 

Once we established that smacking me in the face wasn't okay, things settled down. Sadie stayed with Mom and I guarded Dad. It worked out really well. Sadie and I could discuss things from a distance, which we did. And then Mom took us outside.

You know what? I sort of figured it out. Batting at me with her paws is how Sadie tells me she wants to play! So I played a little and even wagged my tail for her - twice. Mom said that was a good start and took us back inside for treats. 

Having Sadie come for a visit was okay. We got everything figured out, but we're dogs from different packs. We'll have to sort of figure it out again the next time we see each other. That's the way it works when different packs meet.

I think when Sadie is a little older and stops smacking me with her furry feet, we'll get along better. She just has toooooo much energy for a mature guy like me. I gotta tell ya, I was never that young. 

They gave me no warning!

Mom and Dad have this annoying little saying - live and learn. Uh-huh. I learned yesterday. 

I learned I do not like the drive-thru car wash. Nope. 

Yesterday, the parents needed to go to Lowe's. Now, I'm always up for a trip to the home improvement store. Like, up into my truck! I love, love, love my big blue truck! What was I saying?

Oh, yeah. Trip to Lowe's. It's a good thing. 

Mom opened my door for me, Dad got in to drive, and off we went. Then Mom told Dad she'd pay for it if he'd run the truck through the car wash. My truck really did have a thick yellow coating of pollen on it, for sure. I thought the words "car wash" sounded vaguely familiar, but I wasn't sure what she meant. 

I think I might remember next time. The car wash is a pretty scary place. 

It started out fine. We were in my truck and Dad never drives it into places he can't drive out of. Then there was a loud voice and an even louder beeping sound, and then water sprayed all over my truck until Dad stopped. He stopped in this tunnel! I didn't like that much. Then it got worse! 

These funky pillars with brushes started to move. The brushes started to spin and pound on my truck! I did not like this! But Mom and Dad sat there like it was the most normal thing in the world! Why?!

I started to growl and Mom put her hand on my chest and I know to shut up when she does that. 

And then it got worse!

The brushes stopped and Dad drove forward and these big vent things blew air and it was freaky loud. I did not like that sound at all! 

And do you know what the very worst of the worst was? I didn't even get a snackie for living through all that. 

***Note... Deuce, this is your Dad. What about that cheeseburger I bought you on the way home?***

Walking season 2021 is here! Yea!

I get confused sometimes. Mom and Dad said the weather has "broken." Huh? I didn't know we could break the weather? Humans can do that? That's freaky.

Whatever they did, I'm happy they did it. Today it's sunny and 66F outside with no wind. Apparently, that's what Mom's been waiting for. When she asked me if I wanted to go for a long walk, well of course I said yes! 

Really, Mom, you don't need to ask me if I want to go anywhere. If you're going, then I'm going. If you say okay. 

Mom has a new video camera so she took video of almost the entire walk so she could learn what she needs to do to get a good video of me. Well, me and everything else. I think she'd rather drop a cheap camera in the creek than her expensive phone, and I get that. 

The pond loop is a lot of fun. We get to cross three big creeks and a bunch of small run-offs from mountain springs. I'm not afraid to jump right in, but Mom likes to keep her hiking boots dry. She rock hops to get across. 

It's fun being out in the woods. There are lots of things to smell and hear but I never forget I have a job to do and that's to help protect Mom. We saw two joggers, three hikers, and two other dogs. It was all cool, though. I knew right away they wouldn't bother us. The other dogs were really good, but not quite as well-behaved as me. I walked right past them without stopping - Mom had put me on my leash - and I kept going. I didn't bark, whine, pull on the leash, or anything! Mom taught me that when I'm on the leash, I'm to walk beside her and stay there. So that's what I did. 

When we got home, Mom told me we walked almost three miles. It would have been more but we zipped across the woods in one place once Mom realized the creeks were running so deep. That was fun, too. 

Mom thinks I'm really good company for on a long walk, but I think SHE'S the best company I could have. She always takes a bunch of snackies along just for me and I get extra since I'm burning off the calories. 

I'm Deuce and I'm REALLY glad walking season is here!

I helped by staying out of the way!

Deuce helps make garden racks

The weather was great today! Not too cold, not too hot, just right for Mom, Dad, and me being outside. Mom had all this garden stuff she wanted to do and she needed Dad's expertise with the cordless drill to get it done today. I helped by staying out of the way. I mean, the sun was sooooo warm and my fur is black and it was sooooo nice to just flop in the grass and feel the warmth of the sun on my toes. 

We have an old pool pad beside the front porch. My parents used to put a pool on it but it's gotten sort of dangerous for Dad to climb in and out of a pool so Mom's using the spot for what she calls her garden corral. Dad helped put down a new tarp, build the racks, and get them set in place. 

Here's the problem with all this. So Mom is growing veggies. 

Peppers. I can't eat them.

Cucumbers. I don't like them.

Radishes. Yuk.

Spinach. Double yuk yuk! 

The Garden Corral ready to go

Carrots. Um... maybe, but probably not.

Lettuce- four kinds. No, no, no.

Peas. Nope.

Tomatoes. No.

Pumpkin. Yes! But I have to wait so long to get some!

Watermelon. Heck, yea!! Make me some frozen treats! 

Are Dad and I glad there's no kale on this list? YES!

So as you can see, there's not a lot for lil' ol' me to enjoy in the garden corral. I have a sneaky suspicion that if I forget myself and pee-pee on any of Mom's grow bags, I'll be in the deep doggie doo-doo. 

Tomorrow, Dad's getting on the John Deere 1023 and helping Mom do a few more things. Cousin Dave gave Mom some blocks to build a wall down on the turn of the driveway. Those careless Amazon delivery drivers have turned the corner into a muddy mess by driving up the bank. Mom and Dad say some nice concrete will stop them from being able to do that. It's a shame Mom won't let me scare any of the delivery drivers.

Not that I'd EVER scare Mary the Mail Lady. She's pretty cool. She likes me a lot and always gives me a treat. Plus, Dad says she knows how to drive slowly and is respectful of our lane, not like the Amazon drivers. Mom used to get my treats through an Amazon subscription and she canceled it because the drivers are so disrespectful. She told me not to worry, though. She can get my snackies at lots of other places. 

The thing is that if this silly garden corral makes Mom happy, Dad and I will go along with it. If Mom wants to make pickles, we want to watch. If Mom wants a big salad made with lettuce she grew in a grow bag, we'll stand back and let her enjoy it. And if Mom wants to raise a steer for steaks, we're all in!

How about it, Mom? Got any plans for beef?

****Note from Mom****

Sorry, baby. You know I'd turn a calf into a pet and then where would we be?

This seed thing is taking over!

 

I think Mom has gone round the bend. The sun is shining, true, but the ground is still chilly. I know this because I don't wear shoes! I'm outside running around in my bare paws! 

Mom says it's March, and March is the time to start planting seeds. There are little seed trays in the front window and two butt-ugly red pots on the sunroom floor in front of the door. Plus, Mom was just outside mixing garden soil, cow manure, and potting mix together in the one cart. Then she filled two grow bags with what she'd mixed and mumbled something about radishes and spinach. They don't sound very good to me, especially the spinach. Dad doesn't like it so neither do I. 

It was forty degrees outside this morning and seventy-eight in the little greenhouse. Mom was in the greenhouse talking to the celery. I just don't get it, but I'm getting worried about her. I've tasted celery and it's not my thing, just like radishes and spinach. I know a decent snackie when I smell one and seeds miss the mark. 

And Mom fussed me for something I didn't do! Okay, I did think about it, but she said "no" and I stopped. How often do I get the chance to roll in cow manure? Never, that's how often. And it was only a little clump that dropped out of the bag, not the entire bag. 

Some days I just don't have any fun at all. 

I protest this unfair treatment!

 

A long time ago I said I wished I had thumbs so I could help Mom carry stuff. I was a lot younger then, like only one.  A lot has changed since then. I've recently decided I should stop coveting thumbs. Like just yesterday I decided. Dad has thumbs and it didn't help him cook. 

Now, Dad's a pretty good cook. I love, love, love it when he cooks eggs. Eggs are good, well, maybe not as good as steak, but good. Getting steak in this house just became problematic.

Dad's also a good bread baker. Mom and I talk about this sometimes when I'm in her office begging for snackies. She tells me I had bites of bread and that's all I get until morning. I do not like this but I'm a good boy and I listen. 

Soooo, Dad was making something called pita pockets. They are de-lish, for the record. He used his favorite skillet, the one he sears steaks in, for his project. He also used a rubber spatula in a hot skillet. 

And this is why there will be no steak fat for the dog, a.k.a. ME, in the foreseeable future. 

This is cruel and unusual punishment. I protest! 

It's a video of ME!

Mom snuck one in on me. I knew she was taking pictures of the snow last Sunday, but she got me on video, too. We really did have a lot of fun going out and walking around. 

Then we had to move the trail cam. We were hoping to get some really good shots of the fox (yeah, Mom wants to shoot him but that's another story), but we didn't. So we put it back in the corner of the yard. 

Mom put the separate little videos together into one longer vid so it plays better. But I gotta say it's sort of spooky hearing Mom's voice come out of her computer. 

Way to freak me out, Mom. 

We hope you enjoy our "movie." I'm Deuce and I'm a STAR!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYhsCbJ8ejI

It's a winter wonderland!

It snowed again! Snow can be a lot of fun if Mom puts on her boots and goes outside, which she's done twice already today. The first time it was still snowing, and we walked all over my yard so she could take some pictures. The second time was to brush the snow off her car and both pickups. Not fun for me at all. 

Mom says today is Pop's 111th birthday. I never got a chance to know Pop 'cause, you know, I'm only FIVE, and Pop has been gone since before I was born. Mom told me a story about a dog she used to have that left home to live with Pop. Mom was working and Pop was home all day and the dog was lonely so she moved out. I'd NEVER do that to Mom. 

I found a lot of deer tracks on our walk, but they were a few hours old. I can tell. My nose is pretty good for things like that. It was fun going all the way around the yard and through the woods, but my paws got cold. 

We've been inside since then, except for that quick outside run to clean the vehicles. It's too bad Mom isn't in the mood to take me for a ride. They went for pizza yesterday and didn't take me along. I don't know what's up with. Maybe my feet were too muddy, or something. 

Mom made a couple of photo collages from the pictures she took this morning. Boy, does Mom know bad words when her picture software doesn't do what she wants. I stared at her until she told me I was right, she shouldn't cuss, and then she gave me all the snackies in the treat jar! And refilled it! It's a good thing when my telepathic messages get through to her. 

I'm not sure what we're going to do for the rest of the day. I know we'll go outside just before dark for a short walk so I can do all my outside activities, but other than that, who knows? 

Is it spring yet?

I did my best to be charming, and it worked!

No doubt about it, I'm a good dog. Mom and Dad tell me that all the time - every day, in fact! Sometimes I can be a bit bratty, but they don't mind. I think they just want me to be me. I'm down with that!

It's January and that means it's been really cold. Dad says we're going to get snow soon. He says we'll probably have snow on the ground when we wake up tomorrow. I hope I can sleep but I might get too excited. That could be bad. If I just doze and get too restless, then Mom wakes up and that's not a good thing. Mom doesn't like to be awake at 3:00 AM. 

Since it's going to snow... gee, I hope Dad is wrong about that. If it snows, Mom won't want to go for a long walk like we took today. We had fun today. Sure, it was cold, but Mom put on her long coat, a knit hat and gloves, and off we went. 

We didn't get far at all before we spotted Cousin Dave outside with that little heathen Sadie. She was misbehaving and not responding when Cousin Dave told her to come. She's really young and that's why she's just a nutter. Did I tell you she jumps all over me when she sees me? She does! And her paws are cold! Anyway, Mom told me to come, sit, and stay, so of course, I did. I sat at Mom's feet until Sadie did what she had to do and they went inside. Yep. I got snackies for that! 

Once they were inside, Mom and I continued our walk. We met two people walking on our trail, and then a guy on a bicycle. We were surprised to see people on our trail today because it was cold. Maybe they thought the same thing Mom did, that they'd better get outside before it snows. 

The guy on the bike said I was a good dog because I sat beside Mom until he passed. Once he was gone, Mom agreed! 

So if I'm so good, why wasn't Mom getting me a snackie out of her pocket? I thought I'd better ask, so I stared at her. She kept messing with her glove like she didn't get the message. So I offered up a paw and she took my picture. That's when I figured it out. Pictures and snackies don't happen with gloves on. 

I'm Deuce! I told you I'm a smart dog! 

It's my birthday! I'm five!

Today is my birthday! I'm five years old! 

Is that old? Mom says "not really." What the squeaky-toy does that mean? Am I old or not?

I don't feel old. I feel pretty good. I felt a lot older when I hurt my cruciate tendon, but Mom got the right medicines for me and everything is good to go as long as I don't overdo it. Mom is pretty careful to make sure I don't. 

But come to think of it, sleeping on the big bed does feel better than sleeping on the floor. I don't think I've always felt that way. I used to think I had to be on the floor at Mom's feet when she works in her office, but I can see her just fine from the big bed. So it makes sense to sleep on the soft bed, right? 

Mom and Dad wanted a video of me to help them remember me at age five. Humans must really have trouble remembering as they get older. Will I get like that? I'd hate to forget how to play ball, or how to behave. And what if I forget how to listen to Dad? He needs me, you know. My job is to look out for him when Mom's not home. 

Maybe this being five isn't all it's cracked up to be. I guess I'll have to do like Mom says and take it one day at a time. Until then, maybe Dad will take me out and we can play ball again! That would be a swell birthday present! 

 

I tried to tell them, but noooooo

Last night while we were eating dinner...well, Mom and Dad were eating dinner. I was successfully bumming bites of grilled pork chop, so maybe I was having dinner, too. Anyway, I heard a noise so I did my job and barked. And what did they do? They shushed me!

I'm insulted. I knew a branch had fallen out of a tree. I know what that sounds like. I didn't know it had fallen across the lane but Mom and I discovered that when we went out for a stroll after dinner. 

Mom tried to apologize for shushing me but I wasn't ready to let her make up to me. She didn't have any snackies with her so I very smartly thought I'd wait until we were back inside and she could give me a Griller to officially accept her apology. 

I mean, really folks. Do not shush me for doing my job. Barking to alert you guys to something happening on the manor is what I do, and you know I do it very well. 

So remember this next time.  Just say to yourself, "do not shush Deuce when he's correct." Then repeat it. 

One more thing to remember - don't leave the house without treats in your pockets. 

My yard is my playground

I have a big yard to play in. Mom took a video so I can show you everything. It was a really, really, really hot day, so we didn't play ball or anything. We just strolled around.

Mom started standing at the patio and looking at the shed. Then she panned to the back yard and the picnic table and campfire ring. Do you hear the cicadas? They are loud! The windchimes are softer except when the wind blows hard. 

Dad built those terraces to help when it rains. Living on the side of a mountain is tricky business when the water run-off comes through. It has to rain pretty hard before that happens - maybe once a year. Those two windows are the office windows. I spend a lot of time in there when Mom's working. It's my job to keep her company. 

The woods at the west end of the house are called, "The West 40." It's not really forty acres but my parents call it that. They get strange notions sometimes. We burn out there which is why we keep our fires small and a water hose handy. My woods go all the way down over the hill, but I don't go down there. I don't like briars because they can hurt my paws.  

Walking on around, there are the flowers at Mom's sunporch. It's outside her office. The orange stuff is called Tiger Lily and the red is Bee Balm. The little hummingbirds like that stuff. Right now, there's the top of a tall tree on the ground. Half of it broke out about two months ago, and now the rest of it fell to the ground. Dad's going to pick it up with the pallet forks and move it over to be burned later in the year. 

So you can see I have a big playground. I love to sniff around and see who's been in my yard. The main road is far away and I don't have to be scared of cars or be on a leash when we go outside. Even though it's safe, I almost never go outside by myself. 

Mom videoed all the way around and back to the shed. So that's it! That's MY yard. I'm really happy I have room to run around and be a country dog. And it's good we have room to be the pack, and being the pack is everything. 

Mine!

I like it when Mom puts food in my hex. It gives me a chance to go chill out in a quiet spot and have a snack. I was feeling a bit grumpy this morning so when Mom fill my hex, I went behind her chair - and of course she took a picture. 

Seriously, Mom? Some mornings a guy just needs a few extra minutes to wake up and feel sociable. 

Hey, Mom! Next time why don't you slip a couple of Grillers in with my chow? That would get my attention and help me wake up. It'd kinda be like YOUR second cup of coffee. 

My reflection

I get my picture taken a lot. Mom and Dad are snap-happy when it comes to lil' ol' me. 

Seriously, folks. I'm not kidding about this. 

The other day, we were outside putting a bed cover on my new Colorado, and Mom took a picture of my reflection! My reflection! Now, if that's not a sign that my human pack members are picture-taking-crazy, I don't know what is. 

On the other hand, it was a picture of me and I am their favorite subject when it comes to taking pictures. 

You know. Just saying. 

They're going again...

This is getting old. Mom and Dad are bolting out of here again today. I thought I was going to get to go along. They keep saying "truck." It's truck this and truck that. Am I going for a ride?

NOOOOOOOOOO. 

They did this to me before. They left in my very first truck, a really nice and roomy silver truck, and came home with a big blue monster that shows every little hair I shed. Dad sighs when I shed in his truck, but I can't help it. Shed happens, you know. 

I've got the scoop on it. I listened really close to what Mom was saying. They want to get rid of the little red truck that belonged to Jack and bring home another truck. I never ride in that one. It's way too small for me to get in the back. Dad even took the seats out and I didn't have enough room. 

This will be Mom's truck but Dad will be allowed to drive it. And of course, I will be allowed to ride in it. This is a good thing! 

I hope they won't be gone too long. I'm Deuce, and I'm a good dog, but the last time took hours and hours and I really had to pee-pee by the time they got back. 

Hurry up, guys! Get it done so I can ride in a new Colorado!

Thirty Days of Deuce: Day 30 - Be the pack

This is the last night of our thirty-day blogging marathon. We won't blog tomorrow because it's Friday and Mom bowls on Friday, after work. It's a day for just me and Dad to be together.

Mom asked me what we learned in the past thirty days. I didn't know she planned a test! No fair! I'll give it a go, though.

I think we learned it's really good to be the pack and while it's fun to go away and do things, being on the pack's land is the best. I'm happy just hanging out with Mom and Dad. All I have to do is look at my ball-ball and one of them will pick it up and play. Same for my hex. If I give it to them, they fill it. It really is good to be me. 

I'm a lucky dog. My parents spoil me. I sleep in the big bed, I nap on the couch, I always have food and water, and I'm never left outside in the cold or the rain. Not every dog has it so good. 

Mom says dogs are the most courageous animals on earth. We're steadfast in all things. We never stop trying to please our pack leaders. 

That's true. The best words ever are, "Good boy, Deucie!"

Yep. It's good to be me.