Saturday, December 29, 2018

Run, Run, Rudolf!

I got two of the best Christmas presents ever! Dad got to come home after his surgery AND I caught Rudolf the Reindeer!  Well, Dad found him somewhere and Mom said I could have him but they told me I could pretend I caught a deer. I sort chewed his red nose off and then tore out his brains but Mom said it was alright. 

Aunt Doll was here when the stuffing started to come out. She played along with me. It was a lot of fun until Mom said Rudolf was officially "dead" and put him in the trash.

I'm really glad Dad is home. Mom and I missed him. Sure, I got to sleep on his side of the bed and I didn't have to move, but that was only really fun the first night. I don't like it when our pack isn't together. I gave him the cold shoulder at first so he'd know it was not okay he was gone but Mom reminded me it wasn't his fault. So I made up with him. 

Dad slept in his chair last night but at least he was here in the house with us. He has to wear this nasty looking hard plastic collar until his neck heals. It's a lot of extra work for Mom. She has to change the dressings on his incision and help him get dressed. I think she'll have to give him a bath the way she gives me a bath - climb in with him. I don't think she's going to like that. Mom and Dad never shower together. Mom likes to have the bathroom to herself. I think I'll watch because it should be interesting. 

Mom told me Christmas is over and New Year's Eve is just a few nights away. I remember New Year's Eve. People around here go crazy. They shoot shotguns and blow car horns and just make a lot of noise. People can be strange. 

But maybe the best part is Mom is going to bake a ham on New Year's Eve. I love ham! What a way to close out the year! I bet we'll have something with ham in it on New Year's Day, too. Mom's frugal that way. 

Just in case I don't have time to blog again this year, have a happy and safe New Year's. When you go out, remember some of your pack members are home waiting on you. They need you so don't be stupid, okay?  Be the whole pack in 2019. That's the best way. 

Thursday, December 20, 2018

I went to work with Mom today

Dad has been in the hospital in a place called Baltimore. It's been boring for me. I've been home alone some and I don't like it much. The upside is Cousin Dave has been looking out for me while Mom takes care of Dad and goes to work. It's fun to spend some time with him. He gives me treats. Today was really special, though. I got to go to work with Mom!

Going to work with Mom is fun. It starts off with a ride in her car. I love her car! Mom doesn't drive fast when I'm in the back so I get to look all around. When we got there, I peed on a bush. Mom laughed but I don't know why. 

Maybe she hoped I'd kill it because she doesn't like the bushes. She once told Dad there are nasty people who use those bushes for drug drops and her employer won't cut them down even though the security cameras have recorded videos. I think Mom should retire and be with me all day. Anyway...

Mom took an old Frisbee along so I'd have something to play with. I was a bit uneasy with all the people who came into her office. They all wanted to touch my Frisbee and I did not like that. 

Mom was working but I'm not sure anyone else was. But most of the time it was just me and Mom. Mom talked to her computer and I chewed on the Frisbee. It was okay but I was really glad when Mom said it was time to go home. 

We had to make a run for the car. It was really raining! Mom opened the back door for me and I jumped too fast and hit my nose. That hurt! Mom laughed at me. That hurt, too, but I earned it. 

It was a fun day but home really is where the heart is. I'm soooo glad I can curl up on the couch with Mom tonight and watch a little TV. It would be better if Dad was here, but he has to stay at the rehab place for a little while. 

He'll be home soon but until then I'll sleep with my head on his pillow. And maybe I'll get to go to work with Mom again. 

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Really, Mom?

It's gotten really cold outside, so cold that Mom can't go out without a coat. I have to stand at the door and wait for her until she's got on a coat and gloves. I hate to wait!

Cold weather cuts into my walk time, too. My paws are pretty tough but the ground is freezing. Mom knows this and she pays attention. I must do something that signals her my tootsies have had enough because she seems to know just the right moment to turn around and head home. We had a dusting of snow the other morning. That was really cold on my paws but I liked it. 

Mom and I get bored when it's cold outside. We were out of bed at our usual time and I went out by myself to tinkle. That's all good. But Mom won't take a cup of coffee to the porch or patio when it's this cold. I sit at the door in Mom's office and look out, but it's not the same as being outside and able to smell the breeze. Plus, that skanky Loki comes pussy-footing along and sits beside me. He doesn't help me keep an eye on the neighborhood. He's too busy washing his paws to be of any use. 

This morning, Mom set the jar of Grillers on her desk. I love Grillers! They're the best!  Anyway, she gave me a few bites - she always breaks them into pieces so I get to taste them - and then she closed the jar. But I could see it. I could see there were more Grillers inside! So I sniffed the jar and do you know what she did? She took my picture. Mom set me up!

Really, Mom? I'm Deuce and I know what you did. We can be friends again if you give me another Griller. 

Saturday, November 24, 2018

I have pills to take

Dad got me a supplement called cosequin to add to my diet. It's supposed to help with my joints. I've been having some problems since I hurt my cruciate. Mom thinks it's because now I don't put the same amount of weight on that leg. She thinks I walk and run lopsided. She might be right. 

Even with all that, I'm not sure Mom is happy about me taking this cosequin stuff. I heard her tell Dad that if my tummy got upset, it was on him. She sounded pretty firm. Dad said he'd clean it up and I did not like the sound of that. I hope I don't get sick when Mom's not home. Mom is fast to the door to let me out. Dad...not so much. 

Now I know Mom pretty well. She'll watch me like a hawk. She's a real hover Mom. If she suspects I'm having any sort of a reaction to this stuff, she will throw it in the trash. Doing that might make Dad mad but not me. I'm glad Mom watches over me like I watch over her. 

We're a pack, and that's what packs do. 

Sunday, November 11, 2018

It was breakfast in the hex today

It was cold this morning! My paws about froze when I went out to pee-pee. Mom said it was only twenty-three degrees Fahrenheit. What's Fahrenheit mean? Is that important? Anyway, it was cold. I made really fast work of all my outside activities and trotted for the door. 

That was bad of me. I should have waited for Mom to catch up but I left her in the dust. Maybe she didn't notice I did that. She gave me a treat when she finally opened the door for me. Of course, she did whine a bit about having to hang her coat in the closet. I remember last year she'd hang her coat over a dining room chair. Now she's worried that skanky Loki might claw at the fabric. I've been trying to tell her that cat is a nuisance. Does she listen? Noooooo. She just keeps feeding him. 

Mom feeds me, too. She pays attention and knows that sometimes I get bored with the same food over and over and over. I'll be three years old soon and we've tried a few different doggie chows for me. Some are really great and Mom sometimes mixes them together for me. I like the turkey and venison the best. Don't bring me lamb. I do not like lamb. Or grain-free. That is some nasty chow. I didn't eat any of that until I was very hungry. Mom noticed and took a can of wet food and made gravy for it. Then I ate it. 

Sometimes though, I get bored with eating. It's the same thing every day. Mom puts food in my bowl and I eat. This morning, it just seemed too boring. I put my hex in my bowl for Mom to see. 

Mom is pretty smart. She "gets" me. Right away she picked up my bowl and filled my hex with my doggie chow. I took it to the office so I could eat with her while she worked online. She told me I chew loudly and then she took my picture and laughed. 

I'm Deuce! Mom really loves me no matter how noisy I am when I eat.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Not too smart, Dad

It's quiet when Mom isn't home. Every day during the week is much the same. I get up with Mom and we go outside. Then Mom gets ready for work. Right before she leaves, we go outside again and walk to the end of the lane and back. That's almost half a mile! 

Well, we don't go that far if it's raining really hard or if it's really cold, but that's not too often. 

After Mom heads out, Dad gets up. He fixes coffee and we watch a little television. Then he gets dressed and we go in and out the lane again. His power chair goes faster than Mom walks. I have to run some to keep up. Then we have a nap before lunch. After lunch, we nap again.

We don't like to admit to Mom we nap while she's at work, and now, thanks to Dad, she has proof we're the couch potatoes she says we are. 

Dad took a picture of me and Loki snoozing together and sent it to her. 

Dad! Why?! What were you thinking? I mean, I'm in Mom's spot! And to take my picture with that skanky cat? Mom's going to think I'm starting to like him better. She already suspects he and I have an understanding. 

Well, the damage is done for today. I might as well stay on the couch until I hear Mom's car driving back the lane. Besides, she's going to scold Dad, not me.

I'm Deuce! Mom won't mind if I spend the entire day sleeping in her spot. 

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Sleeping in the sun

Today is Sunday and sometimes Sundays are all about having a day of rest. Mom does all this stuff for me and Dad and every so often, she gets cranky. When that happens, it's time to not pester her for anything. Today was kinda one of those days. We did a few things but then Mom put her foot down. She'd had enough and she was going to do what SHE wanted and you'd better not argue with her. 

Mom says a day of rest is important for everyone, and we have to remember that "rest" means different things to different people, as does "work." Mom and me going for a walk isn't work. It makes us feel good so isn't that resting from our labors? And if Mom fixes something around the house that's been bugging her, and it makes her feel good, is that work? I'm a smart dog but I don't know the answer to that one. 

All I know is when Mom and Dad settled in to watch the NASCAR race, there was a sunny patch on the floor just my size. It felt really good on my back and I snoozed for a long time. 

Watching Mom and Dad isn't work as far as I'm concerned. No one makes me do it. It wouldn't feel right to me if I didn't. It's what a good dog does for the humans in his pack. 

But I'm really glad Mom decided to take a time of rest today. Otherwise, I might have missed that perfect patch of sunshine. 

13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do. -Deuteronomy 5:13-14

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Did not! Dad gave it to me!

I love Frisbee! It's really difficult not to be able to chase and catch them. Running and jumping like that is bad for my leg. Mom and Dad understand how sad I am so they still give me Frisbees to gnaw on. They're good parents. It's not the same but I get a lot of mileage out of one Frisbee. 

The thing is, Mom put this one in the trash and it's my favorite. Dad got it out for me but now I'm in trouble with Mom. She thinks Dad is covering for me. He's not! He really did give it to me. 

Mom says I'm holding the evidence. She'll get over it. She did take my picture and that means it's really okay. And she let me keep it. 

Mom lets me get away with a lot of things just because I'm Deuce. It's good to be me!

Sunday, September 30, 2018

I smell sweet!

Mom told me I would get a bath this morning. I knew she was serious about it. When she called me and pointed into the bathroom, I just went ahead and stepped into the shower. 

Showers are sort of fun. Mom puts a big towel down in the base so my paws don't slip. Two more big towels are on the floor for when I step out. And then Mom has two towels she dries me with after I shake. I have to shake in the shower before I get out so I don't mess up the entire bathroom. Somehow I always manage to get lots of black fur on the glass shower doors. 

Mom always gets in with me. That's fun. We both get clean! Mom doesn't have to shake off, though.

A bath feels good. I'm Deuce! See how fluffy I am now? 

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Mom thinks I stink

I seem to be "persona non grata" at the moment.  Apparently, I smell like a dog. 

Mom and I went for a walk today. It was great! The sun was shining! I had such fun! I think the problem is I found a stinky, boggy mud puddle. I ran through it, back and forth, and back and forth. I got pretty wet. Mom was not pleased. 

When we got back to the creek with the clear, clean water, Mom told me to get in and rinse off. So I did. 

But now I still smell. I guess it'll be puppy shampoo in the morning. 

I'm Deuce, and tonight I won't be sleeping on the bed with Mom. Mom said so.


9/30/18 - Deuce slept on the bed but he was kind enough to sleep at my feet. He's correct about the shampoo. He's getting a shower as soon as I finish my coffee. - Mom

Saturday, September 22, 2018

It's about time he did something useful!

I've been watching and waiting to figure out just why Mom wanted a kitty-kitty. I've really wondered why she picked LOKI, but that's another blog. Last night, that darn cat finally showed me what his real job is.

Loki caught a mouse.

Mom says the little mice always come inside when the nights start to get cooler. They're looking for a place to winter. Sure enough, one got in.

When Mom came home from bowling last night, we couldn't find Loki. He usually comes when Mom calls him, but he didn't. So we looked down the basement stairs and called him. Wouldn't you know it, this little dark thing darted past the foot of the stairs with Loki in hot pursuit.

Well, right away I barked. Mom asked me if I wanted to go down and help him. Um, no. I didn't. I remember when Shooter would catch a critter. Icky. I just say no to rodents.

Anyway, Mom went downstairs to get a closer look at what was going on. Then she came up and told Dad about it. Sure enough, this morning the mouse was lying beside Loki's food bowl. Mom disposed of the body. At least Loki didn't chew it up. Icky. Really icky.

I guess it's okay that Mom got a cat if the cat is going to catch mice. I'm still number three in the pecking order. It's Mom, Dad, Deuce, Loki around here and that cat better remember it. He'd better keep up the good work, too. Mom will appreciate it. 

I'm Deuce and my job is looking out for Mom and Dad. I'll leave the mice to Loki.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

It's almost autumn

Mom's been really busy. She's been using all her spare time to finish a story. Now that it's done, she has to send it to a writer friend to be proofread and a whole bunch of other stuff that went over my head. I'm glad she's finished with it because I'd started to worry about little ole me. I really hate it when Mom doesn't take me out for a walk. 

Okay. Mom just reminded me it's also been raining and I don't like rain. So maybe it's not all her fault I've been cooped up practically all summer. Mom said the last time we walked in the rain, I got soaked. I guess it's true a dog doesn't remember everything, but I remember a lot. 

Mom says it's almost autumn again. That's our favorite time of the year. We go walking the old road a lot more in autumn because of the hunters. I have to wear my orange vest which makes me look very stylish. Mom wears an orange hoodie, too. 

Last night, we heard the screech owls. I heard them first and growled so Mom went to the door. When she heard them, we stepped out onto the porch to listen for a few minutes. They sound really spooky. I went back inside first to try to get Mom to come in but she's stubborn when she hears owls. 

Maybe we'll be able to do some fun things this autumn that we can blog about. There's only so much to say about rain, isn't there?

Friday, September 7, 2018

I'm Mom's favorite guy!

Mom likes to do a bunch of things. She takes care of me and Dad (and Loki but I don't know why). She's a writer, a bowler, a gardener, and lots more stuff I can't think of right now. She likes to take pictures with her phone and I'm her favorite subject. She has a whole folder just for me!

This morning, Mom and I were in her office. She's on vacation, you know. Anyway, she said she wanted to learn one new thing in the photoshopping program. I think she wants to make better book covers and book promos but she started with ME. What's that tell you? 

I'm Deuce, and I'm Mom's very favorite!

Friday, August 24, 2018

Who says cats rule?

Friday evenings are special when it's not bowling season. Mom comes home and usually just chills out with me and Dad for a while. before she goes into what she calls 'the writing cave'. Tonight, she came home and took us back to town to treat us to dinner at Sonic! With bowling starting in just two weeks, she wanted to do something different. I got a burger!

Well, I got to ride in Mom's car, too. That's pretty special. I don't get to do that very often. We generally take my pickup. Okay, it's really Dad's pickup but I have my own seat. 

But you know what I really liked? Other than the burger, of course. LOKI didn't get to go with us. Take that you skanky little cat! I told you Mom loved me best, didn't I? You don't even get to leave the house. I get to go everywhere! 

Okay, cat. Mom says I'm being bratty about you and I need to stop picking on my little brother. Whatever. Just remember one thing, Loki. 

I'm Deuce and I get to ride in Mom's car!

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Do green eyes make me special?

Mom didn't have to go to work today. I love, love, love days when she's home with me and Dad. We got up early and took a long walk. We've had so much rain this summer that the creeks are really deep and running fast. It's okay, though. Cousin Chris has a small dam and it's safe for me to hop in the water. 

Our walks can take us across a couple of creeks depending on which way Mom wants to go. The way we went this morning, one creek flows across an old dirt road. It's wide and not too deep, except for one spot Mom stayed away from. But not me. I hopped right in the deep water. It was cold on my belly so I didn't stay there long. I was splashing around and Mom took my picture. Look at my eyes! How cool is that? I didn't know my eyes could do that. 

I'm Deuce! I'm a super dog!! 

I love being a country dog. I think I'd be sad if Mom and I couldn't walk into the woods. In the woods, I can run free and sniff everything. Mom says I should confess I pee on everything, too. Of course, I do! I'm a guy dog!

So after Mom took me for a walk this morning, she and Dad left me alone with that skanky cat Loki for three and a half hours. I heard them say they hated to do it, but Dad had a doctor's appointment in Baltimore. Baltimore must be a long way down the road. Mom said she doesn't mind the highway miles but driving in the city is annoying. Anyway, after they got back from the city, they took me for a ride to make it up to me. We went down to the produce stand and we got a watermelon. It's in the fridge, chilling. Watermelon is good! Come Saturday, I'm going to get frozen treats, I just know it! 

It's late now and I'm ready for bed. Mom says I can go in without her but I won't. I'll stay right here beside her chair until she's done telling the story of my day. After all, being with Mom is what I do best.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

He's not amusing

Would you like to take a guess as to where my toys are stored? 

Mom's mom got that basket for her a long time ago. Mom used to keep magazines in it back when the only magazines you could get were printed on paper. Now she gets them on her Kindle. 

When Dad got his new lift chair, we decided it was time to store my crate. I sleep with Mom and I'm mature enough to stay loose in the house when Mom and Dad go away. They never go away for very long. Mom has a strict four-hour rule that says I'm never left alone in the house for more than four hours at a time. 

When Mom took my crate to the shed she needed a place to store all my toys. She put them in the basket since it has a lid. Now that skanky cat has decided to "guard" my stuff. 

This is not copacetic. In fact, I do not like this at all. It's MY stuff. 

I'm warning you, cat. You'd better be careful. If you mess with my stuff, I'll hide all your little catnip mousies you have strewn all over my house. 

I'm Deuce. I'm not going to take this lying down. 

Oh, yeah. One more thing, Loki. I heard Mom tell Dad the appointment is made for your snip-snip. I'm going laugh until I howl when you get home from THAT!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2018

Rain, rain, go away (but it's better than snow)

What's with all the rain? Water is fine if I can splash around in it but rain sucks. I can't even relax on my sunporch. The rug is wet. Water drips off the umbrella. 

I must be sighing out loud. Every so often Mom reaches down, gives me a pat, and says, "I know, baby." We haven't had a decent walk since forever! 

Mom says we just have to live with the rain, that some summers are like this. Dad says he's glad we're not getting this precipitation in January because it would be snow. 

I'm with Dad. I think the rain is a lot better than snow. I'll just have to learn to play in the rain. After all, it is only water. 

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Bark vs. Growl - I talk to Mom

I might be a dog, but I know how to communicate effectively with my people. I can make a lot of different growls and barks, and I've trained Mom and Dad to hear all the nuances and know what I'm saying. 

There's my "airplane going over" growl. It's really short and quiet. I don't like it when airplanes fly over my head. Mom says there is nothing we can do about it and I should stop complaining. She's probably right but I'm exercising my first amendment rights and expressing myself. 

I have different growls for when deer or fox or crows are in my yard. When I bark and growl, Mom and Dad know more than one critter is around. When I just bark, they know whatever it is is close to our house. Then there's a different bark when someone is coming back the lane. That's a fast and loud bark.  When I'm outside I talk to the neighborhood dogs. That's a loud and long bark with a pause to hear a reply before I do it again. I'm the local boss. Sometimes I tell everyone to shut up and be quiet and they listen to me. Mom thinks that's funny.

When I bark in the house, Mom tells me to use my inside voice. I don't think so. Just like I know words and phrases Mom and Dad know growls and barks. It's a pretty good system. 

But sometimes I just need to tell Mom something special like how much I love her. Face-to-face is best for that. Mom says I'm special.

I'm Deuce. Of course I'm special! 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Dad's new ramp

Back when I was a little guy, Dad used to take me out on the front porch. He'd have a cup of coffee and I'd play. I had to remember not to fall off the edge and when I forgot, it was not a good thing. I bounced better when I was a little guy. Dad kept an eye on me and would tell me when I was too close to the edge but I didn't listen very well back in those days. It was better on the weekends. Mom would grab me. She's always been faster than Dad. 

Then last summer, Dad couldn't make it out on the porch any longer. That made Mom and me sad. How can we be a pack if one member can't join in? Mom says people don't realize how many simple pleasures Dad has lost because he can't walk now. That's why he has the fancy chair on wheels with a motor. 

This past Saturday morning, Cousin Dave came up and built Dad a ramp! I was unhappy because Mom made me stay inside. I like Cousin Dave and he likes me. I wanted to watch what he and Mom were doing.  It was a good thing I was inside with Dad because they found a wasp's nest and they got stung. I wouldn't like getting stung, especially on the nose. 

Dad likes the ramp. He zips up and down like he's been doing it for years. I'm not so sure about it. I guess it's good for Dad, but I can jump onto the porch, even with my bad cruciate. (That's why I sit with my leg tucked under me now.)

Mom says I'll get used to it. I guess I will even though I think it's a bit weird for dogs. 

I'm Deuce. I know how to go with the flow. 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Monday, July 2, 2018

Now he's attacking me from under my bed!

Drat that cat! 

This morning he got under Mom's bed and when I walked past, he attacked me! 

I was minding my own business and WHAM! 

Mom laughed so I'm not talking to her. She even took a picture of me with my head under the bed looking for Loki. 

I really have to have a talk with Mom about that darn cat. 

I'm Deuce. I'm a Labrador Retriever, not a pin cushion. 

Sunday, July 1, 2018

There's bad news and even badder news

I've experienced a life-altering injury. Mom had to take me to the emergency vet this afternoon. I've partially torn a ligament in my left hind leg. No more running. No more jumping. No more Frisbee. No more ball. Worst of all, I made Mom cry. 

It's been bothering me off and on for a bit. Mom and Dad have been watching me and how I move and walk. Today was the worst, though. It really hurt today and Mom could tell. 

I can still go for walks with Mom. I think if I couldn't that would be the worst thing of all. The lady vet said there's nothing to do right now except to take care of the inflammation and the pain. So Mom says that's what we'll do.

What has Mom really upset is the medicine the vet gave her - Carprofen. She looked it up on the Internet and it can make me really sick. She's afraid to give it to me. My regular vet says baby aspirin can hurt my stomach. It hasn't yet but Mom is really careful about how I take it. 

But this Carprofen can make me bleed, too. It can damage my liver and kidneys. It can cause urinary incontinence and urinary tract infections. I might get diarrhea and I've had that before and I didn't like it much. Carprofen can give me pancreatitis which could kill me. And what is acute tubular necrosis? Isn't that when something inside me dies??? And here's a kicker - Labrador Retrievers make up 25% of all the adverse hepatic reactions to Carprofen. 

Hey! I'm a Labrador Retriever. This is not a good thing for my liver! 

Carprofen used to be given to humans but they had to stop that. What's that tell you? And Carprofen and Rimadyl are the same drug under different names. I think that's sneaky of some drug manufacturer to try and confuse human parents. 

I'm glad Mom took the time to research that drug. We'll figure out what I can and can't do to have fun. Mom and Dad are smart that way. We already play a lot of indoor games that keep me engaged and some of them we can do outside. I can still walk with Mom, no problem. And I have Loki to play with now, too. 

My days of being a Frisbee athlete might be over for the most part but I'm still Deuce. I can still do the most important thing of all and that's be Mom's best dog ever. 


Saturday, June 23, 2018

This little bugger was not what I expected!

I have a kitten! It turns out his name is Loki which is the name of a Norse god who got into all sorts of mischief and misadventure. Mom and Dad brought him home last night. Nooooobody slept last night but that's another story. Right now, I'm a little worried and sad. I don't think Loki likes me.

Mom says he has to settle in and get to know me. I heard her tell Dad that Loki only weighs three pounds. That must not be very much because he's a little guy. 

I guess I'm a little jealous that he can sit on Mom's lap. Dad's, too. I can't do that. I'm too big. But Mom made sure to invite me up on the loveseat with her. She didn't give Loki any chicken liver, either. She says that's all for me. 

Mom says Loki has to stay inside for a long, long time. He can't even go outside on the patio with us unless he's in a crate. Apparently, those skanky foxes could eat him! I don't think I'd like that to happen. Mom has a plan for Mr. Mummert to build Loki a cat house outside the guest room window. That way she can open the window and he can enjoy getting out in his very own screened enclosure for some fresh air. She saw the plans on Pinterest, whatever that is. 

I suppose having Loki here will be okay as long as he remembers one very important thing. 

I'm Deuce! I was here first and I knew Mom and Dad before he did. That means they loved ME first and longer. And don't you forget it, cat!

Oh, yeah. Hey Loki! when Mom starts talking about the snip-snip, I'm going to laugh at you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Is it okay to be suspicious?

I think Mom is up to something. She's been on the phone with some lady and she keeps talking about

Hey, Mom. I know what a kitty-kitty is. I remember. What gives? What did you mean when you told Dad you were approved for a fur baby?

I'm watching, Mom. I will figure it out no matter how coy you try to be with me. You might as well come straight out with it and tell me what all the whispering is about this coming Friday.

I'm Deuce. I'm a smart dog. 

Saturday, June 16, 2018

I was tricked!

I love my truck! The backseat space is all mine. I even have my own go-bag. When Mom and Dad ask if I want to go for a ride, I'm right there! They can't get my door open fast enough. Sometimes I even get to take a nap in my truck when we're not going anywhere. If I ask nicely enough, Mom will open my door and leave it open for me. I can jump in and out when I feel like it.

But last Tuesday evening, Mom tricked me.

She meant to do it, too. It was deliberate.

She asked me if I wanted to go for a ride so of course I said yes.

They took me to the vet for a shot. They KNOW I do not like needles.

I jumped right up into my spot and off we went. I didn't realize until we got there I was going to the vet. It was awful. There were a bunch of other dogs there and instead of getting to meet them, Mom and I had to sit in this little room. For the record, I have no plans to eat little hairy ugly dogs for a snack. I've never tasted a little dog, but I bet they're stringy. I bet they don't taste nearly as good as the freshly cooked chicken livers Mom has in the fridge for me.

The vet poked me with a needle, poked and pulled on my left hind leg again, and didn't even pet my head. And those Amazon girls made me get on the scales. I'm down to eighty-four pounds. I was up to eighty-seven a few months ago. I knew once the weather was better I'd be able to exercise and get svelte again.

I suppose I'll forgive Mom for tricking me. She's just trying to take good care of me and keeping my shots up-to-date helps keep me healthy. She's a good mom. 

I'm Deuce. Next time I hear the word 'ride', I'll be more careful. 

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Chipmunks are FAST!

We have chipmunks. Those little suckers are fast! They zip across my porch at about a gzillion feet
per second! Early this morning Mom and I were sitting on our private porch so she could enjoy her first cup of coffee and one of those critters ran right across my tail. My tail! It happened so fast I couldn't even move! And you know Mom laughed at me. She said I looked surprised. 

Well, yeah. Wouldn't you be surprised if a chippy ran across your tail? 

Mom says we need a cat. I agree. I like cats. I remember Shooter. He lived here when Mom adopted me and made we made a pack. Mom says he was really good at controlling the chipmunk population, and a cat keeps rabbits away, too. I don't know much about that. Rabbits are kind of fun to chase. I like the way their white tails bounce up and down when they run. It helps me keep track of them when I'm going full speed. Mom says I'll never catch one, but it's okay to chase them to the edge of the woods. That's how far I chase the deer when they come into my yard. 

Anyway, Mom says if we had a cat, the chipmunks would move back into the woods to stay safe. She says the little prey animals are smart like that. 

Now that Mom's at her computer, I think I'll lie on the porch for a while longer. There's a lot going on outside this morning. A single deer is down in the woods but he's too far away to chase. The rabbit is out eating clover and four crows are strolling down the lane like they own it. And if that skanky chippy comes back, I'm going to have a chat with him. Being a country Lab has a lot of advantages. If I lived in a town the only thing I'd have to watch is traffic. Boring. 

I hope Mom gets me a kitten soon. When she does, I'm going to be a good big brother and tell him to watch out for chipmunks so they don't get his tail. Living out in the country, we need to look out for each other and for Mom and Dad. 

I'm Deuce. It's what I do. 

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Rain is as bad as snow

I'm sooooooooooo bored. I'm bored as only a healthy, energetic Lab can be when all it seems to do is rain. Mom and Dad keep calling me a "poor baby." At least they acknowledge I'm bored. 

Dad takes me out between showers during the day. We play a little bit but the grass hides my ball. Dad complains about the grass every day. It's too wet for him to mow and this does not make him happy.

Mom will take me out in the rain. She has a big red and white umbrella. I don't like it over my head but I've learned it will keep the rain off me if I have to pee-pee and can't wait any longer to go. 

Dad had a flat tire on his power chair one day and I didn't get to play at all because Dad couldn't go out. That was a really boring day. 

I hope the rainy season ends soon so I can get a decent walk. Playing with my toys inside isn't cutting it. 

I'm Deuce. I need action!

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Mom's on vacation

Mom's on vacation. I love it when Mom is home with me! I get to help her in her office which is really cool because I can go in and out by myself. Our private porch is pretty cool. We sat outside last night and watched Ancient Aliens. Then we saw the first lightning bugs of the year. 

Yesterday, Dad drove Mom all over town so she could run errands. I didn't get to ride along. I did not like it that they left me home alone, but I behaved. I'm Deuce. I'm a good dog. Today, they went to Lowe's to get more mulch and I got to go. Then tonight I got to ride in Mom's car when she went to the end of the lane to get the mail. We usually walk down to the mailbox but Mom worked in the yard for hours today and she was tired. 

Tomorrow Mom and Dad are doing something called "making modifications" to the patio furniture. I don't think I like the sound of that but I'll have to wait and see what happens. 

I heard Mom and Dad talking about taking me to the river next week. I love the river! I hope we get to go. I'll get to go swimming if we do. I love to swim! Mom gets in with me and that's a lot of fun! Later on in the week, we're all going for a long ride again for something called a "wine run." I don't know what that is, either. Guess I'll find out when we go. 

It's fun doing special things when Mom is home with me and Dad but I'm bushed. I think I'm going to go to bed. I can sleep on Dad's pillow until I hear him coming to bed. Or maybe not. He did say his pillow smells suspiciously like a dog and I'm the only dog that lives here. He'll know it was me.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Mom's been holding out on me!

How could Mom do this to me??? She came home from work last night and said she had something special for me. Now, I didn't think too much at first, but then she opened a container of icky stuff into a saucepan and cooked it. 

Boy, did it smell good! I didn't know what it was but I knew I was going to love it!

Chicken livers! OMG! Chicken livers!! They're as delicious as giblets! I love, love, love chicken livers!!

Mom asked me to be "handsome" and I was so excited I forgot how to do it. (Mom says "handsome" instead of "pretty" because I'm a guy.)

Then Dad spilled the beans. Mom could have been bringing me chicken livers for years. Organ meats are good for the wolf in me and Mom's been holding out. 

Bad Mom. Bad. Why don't you have a time-out in my crate?

On second thought, just give me another chicken liver and I'll forgive you. 

Sunday, May 13, 2018

It's been quiet lately

There hasn't been much going on in my world except for the rabbit under the front porch. I know it's there. I've seen it. It's a wily thing. I'd play with it but it won't come out when I'm in the yard. To be fair, I'm about ten times its size so I guess it is scared of me. 

Mom and Dad are working on putting down new flooring in the bathroom. I DO NOT LIKE THE NEW FLOOR. Mom tells me it's the same material as the old floor but it looks way different to me. Last night, after we went to bed, Mom threatened to get rubber booties and make me wear them. I didn't like the sound of that. She sounded pretty serious about it. 

Mom said the vet sent her a postcard about me. I don't like the sound of that, either. Mom said I was going to get needles again so I'd better prepare myself. Has it been a year already? 

Spring is really here. The grass turned green. Mom sprinkled grass seed on all the spots I tore up last year playing Frisbee. Now I know why Dad always throws the Frisbee up the hill in the backyard. I can't slide going uphill. Parents are tricky. 

The deer look nasty right now. Mom says the word is "scraggly." They're shedding their winter coats. Hey! So am I!! You should see Mom's face when she empties the vacuum cleaner! She says she sucks up a Lab every time. Mom loves my shiny black fur. 

I've got to strike a pose. Mom's coming at me with her cell phone and that means pictures of little 'ol me and I'm not even out of bed yet. 

Friday, April 27, 2018

Mom called me a wimpy dog

Deuce with his bouncy toy
Mom called me a wimpy dog. I'd be insulted except for one little detail - she's right this time. Mom's always right. It can be annoying but there it is. 

Mom and Dad installed new kitchen flooring because I didn't like the old stuff. I don't know why I didn't like the old floor. I just didn't. The thing is, I don't like the new floor, either. I'm scared to walk on it, too.

It makes no sense. The new floor is the same as the floor in the hall and bedrooms. Mom and Dad made sure it was a perfect match and from the way they talked, getting a match was a hassle. 

They say I'm worth the bother and expense of new flooring. I feel ashamed I'm letting them down by being a wimp. I hope Mom will help me get over my fear this weekend. 

Because if I don't get over myself, instead of sleeping with Mom, I'll be sleeping alone in the living room. I don't like that idea at all. 

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Busy morning; rain coming

I'm feeling a lot better today. Friday and Saturday were the pits but when Mom and I got up this morning, I was hungry. I ate two whole cups of my dog food (I get four a day) and a half a can of the fancy digestive stuff Mom got from my vet. I felt pretty perky after that! 

Mom and Dad had a few things to finish outside. Dad had to put the battery charger on the Craftsman mower yesterday. Dad took the charger off and Mom started the mower and drove it out and back our lane, then parked it in the shed. I trotted along beside her but I didn't run fast or anything. 

Cousin Dave was out in his yard so we went down and said hello to him. Dad checked out the John Deere for something he forgot yesterday and then Mom parked that behind the shed. I didn't mean to do it, but I got in the way a little bit. Dad didn't yell at me. He just looked me in the eye and said MOVE. So I moved. Dad means it when he says MOVE.

Then I helped Mom pick daffodils because it's going to rain. Mom checked the screens in the gutters, too. I don't like it when Mom does that. She gets really high up there on the ladder! 

So I'm doing a lot better. Mom says I still have to take all the pills so we can be sure the parasite is dead. I don't mind. The pill is wrapped in a cheese slice. 

I think I'll find a comfy spot to watch it rain. My afternoon nap has nothing to do with being sick. I take one every day. Maybe I can convince Mom to take a nap on the bed with me. I'd really like that. 

Friday, April 13, 2018

Parasites are a bad thing

I haven't been feeling well the last few days. Is droopy the same as lethargic? Mom has said I'm both. If droopy and lethargic mean I haven't had the energy to play much, then I understand. 

I don't really know when I started to feel bad. Mom's been hovering over me for a few days. She seems to have a sense about these things. She notices everything, too. Like I didn't feel like eating and drinking yesterday and I should have remembered she goes off the rails when I don't drink enough. 

Sure enough, she called the vet. I really hate it when she does that. I'll be bratty and stick my tongue out at her for that. 

I did not have a good time at the vet. The vet took my temperature. Would you like to guess how he did that? THEN, to add insult to injury, he used his finger to try to get a "sample." What the hell? A sample of WHAT? My saliva?

Following that indignity, the vet stuck me with a needle and sucked out my blood. My blood! I need that blood! So now Mom knows I don't have Lyme Disease or heartworm, but it seems I did pick up a nasty parasite somewhere. 

The vet checked my back and hips and said there were no overt problems. My teeth are good and I don't seem to have any blockages, just a... what the heck is a parasite, anyway? Mom needs to explain that a little better because this is uncharted territory for me. 

Anyway, the vet gave me a pain pill then injected fluid under my skin in four places. Mom says I'll be lumpy for awhile but they'll go away. I was given a metrona...metronidaz...metroledazi...  I'm just a Lab. I can't spell it or pronounce but it's supposed to kill the parasite. To help get my stomach back on track while I take the medicine, I get to take Pepcid and eat some special canned dog food. Mom said I cost her $362. Is that a lot of money? It's a good thing Mom loves me.

It's a good thing to get medicine when you need, but the downside is no Frisbee, no ball, no long walks - no nothing - until I've taken all the medicine. That's at least five days. Once I start to feel better, I'm going to be very bored. 

I'd try to talk Dad into playing, but Mom is watching him, too. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Dog Tales - those who came before me

Mom has had a lot of dogs in her life. There was her first dog, Rebel. He was an English Setter. Reba was a collie mix. Raven was black like me but her fur was longer. There was little Bogie, Rogue, Amy, Penny, Nickel, Sunny. Then there were Callahan and Jett.

Mom says they were all mostly good dogs, but Callahan and Jett were special, like me. Mom started a section on her blog to tell all about those dogs, starting with Rebel.

She says you can go here to start reading. 

I helped her write each story about her dogs. I was beside her in her office and kept her from getting sad. 

I'm Deuce, and I know how to take care of Mom. 

Friday, March 23, 2018

Snow sucks

Do I look like a happy dog to you? I'm not. Mom and Dad told me it's now spring. Really? I've been waiting and waiting for this spring thing to get here and it was a bust, let me tell you. 

I thought spring would be a good thing. Mom promised me more walks in the woods. Dad said we could spend more time outside and I could help him do work in the shed. Mom talked about getting my tunnel set up and her and Cousin Dave have talked about getting me and Bella together for play dates. 

So spring arrived and it snowed ten inches. Just look at it piled up on my porch! Do you know how cold snow is on a guy's paws? (Not to mention a few other body parts.) I thought I'd like snow but it really limits a guy's options and opportunities. I can only sleep so much before I get bored and need to DO something.

It snowed all night and all day. The only good thing about it was Mom was home all day with me. We went out a few times so I could do my outside activities, but I got wet so we didn't linger long. Mom threw the Frisbee for me but it got snow covered and wouldn't fly. What a bust. 

I sure hope spring gets here soon. Being cooped up inside with Mom and Dad is okay, but I really need some serious play time. I want to get in the creek and splash around but the water is too cold. I need sunshine to really show off my black fur coat. 

I'll try to avoid being discouraged. Mom and Dad promised it wouldn't be much longer and they've never been wrong before. I'll just have to wait it out like everyone else. Have I mentioned waiting for anything is not my strong point? 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Deuce goes bowling!

Did you know Mom and Dad met at the bowling alley? They did. Now I've never been there but I know Mom has a really good time on her bowling night. She and Dad text back and forth when she's bowling. Mom's usually bragging because she does pretty good and that makes Dad happy. It's too bad Dad can't get to the bowling alley any longer but the building doesn't have a ramp for his power chair. That means he can't even go watch. 

Oh, wait. If he went to watch Mom bowl, I'd be home alone. I would not like that. 

Mom has a few old bowling balls in the den. She uses them as bookends. Anyway, she got an old plastic Brunswick down and told me it's mine! I love balls! I even love balls I can't pick up! 

I can't pick up a bowling ball, but I sure can roll it around the yard. I love bowling! I can't wait until it's warmer outside to bowl some more! Next time I'll try to keep it from rolling all the way down the hill. 

Here's me bowling! I'm Deuce! I look pretty handsome on the screen, don't I?

Friday, March 2, 2018

Blue bunnies

Mom got me a little blue bunny yesterday. She was at the dollar store. She saw it and knew right away I'd love, love, love it. It's not very big, but it is blue. I like blue. I can see blue although maybe not the same way Mom sees it. 

Dad was sure I'd rip the stuffing right out of the bunny but I fooled him. I haven't had a stuffed animal since I was a little guy and that's what I used to do. I'm all grown up now.

I think this was a test. I overheard Mom tell Dad a "kitty-kitty" would be bigger. (I hear EVERYTHING.) That got me pretty excited. I remember the cat we had when I was just a pup. When Mom says "kitty-kitty" I know exactly what she's talking about. 

Mom thinks because I didn't rip the stuffing out of the bunny right away, I might be mature enough for us to get a kitten. 

She might be right. Until then, I'll just carry the bunny around with me. It's good practice in case the kitten will let me carry him. 

Mom says I shouldn't get my hopes up for that to happen.

***UPDATE from Mom
The bunny met its demise March 4th. It had a very cherished life up until the end. 

Monday, February 26, 2018

Is the sun ever going to shine again?

I don't think February has been much fun. It snowed one day which was okay, but it mostly rained. Rain is soooo boring. Mom and Dad take me outside but rain when it's cold outside isn't fun for anyone.

Heck, I didn't do enough of anything to put it all together and blog. Mom and Dad watched the Daytona 500. The meat and cheese plate was a good thing if you ask me. I enjoyed getting bites of everything.

Dad watched a lot of television this month. I slept on the couch to keep him company.

Mom spent a lot of evenings in her office this month. She's been writing which makes her feel good. She really likes it when I nap under her desk. She tucks her toes under me to keep them warm. It's pretty cool when she wiggles them. Sometimes we play footsies. I just have to be careful not to scratch her with a claw. 

I heard her tell Dad she wishes she could concentrate better, that she has too much on the go at one time. Mom really wants to retire so she can be home with us. I'd like that a lot. We'd have time to go for a real walk every day instead of just in and out the lane a couple of times a day when it's almost dark. Walking in the woods is a lot more fun. Mom says summer's coming and we'll have more daylight so I need to be patient. I'm better with that than I used to be.

Speaking of walking down the lane, Bella was out in Cousin Dave's yard this morning and we got to say hello to each other. Now that she's all grown up I hope we can play more this summer. I'm a lot bigger than her but I know how to let her think she's the boss. You have to do that with females from another pack.

I hope March is more fun than February. I don't like being bored.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

And then there was ice

Ice that falls from the sky is not a good thing. I don't like it. Well, except for the fact Mom stayed home with me and Dad today. I like that. But ice on the ground, the kind you can't eat, is bad. 

First thing this morning when Mom let me outside to do my morning activities, I slipped. I spread my toes as wide as I could and I still slipped.  There was no traction to be had. I'm glad Mom didn't ask me to play ball because I don't know what I would have done. It would have been a real dilemma for me. But Mom could tell I didn't like the footing. I did what I had to do and went back inside with Mom and Dad. 

It's a good day for a nap but I don't think I'm going to get one. Every time the heat pump kicks on the ice flies off the fan blades and wakes me. What a racket! Oh, well. 

They say spring is coming. I'll believe it when I see it.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

A quick walk on a cold day

I love Saturdays! Mom is home with Dad and me, and I get to do cool things with her. It's really fun 
to be able to play ball with her when it's not getting dark. Dad says the days are getting longer and pretty soon we'll have daylight when Mom gets home from work. 

It's been cold this winter. I hear Mom and Dad talking about it a lot. Mom has a website she checks all the time that has the daily temperatures for our area on it. She says our warmest January was back in 1932. It averaged 42.9F that month. This January isn't going to be anywhere close to that. It was zero degrees a lot! No wonder she didn't want to take me for a Saturday walk for weeks and weeks. 

Today was better. It was about 32F, or right at the freezing mark, but the wind wasn't blowing very hard. We'd have frozen solid if we'd gone outside in the wind yesterday. I made quick work of my necessary outside trips, let me tell you. I'm Deuce and I know when it's too cold to be outside on a lark.  

Mom bundled up in a coat and put on this weird hat/scarf thing on her head. The scarf part has built in pockets to keep her hands warm. Anyway, we walked along our favorite road. It goes into the state park and cars can't drive on it. Except for the park rangers but they don't bother us because we don't bother them.

I was a little disappointed, though. We got to one of my favorite spots to play in the creek and it was frozen. Mom said that meant it was too cold for little ol' me to jump in. There's a really deep hole just before the water goes into the pipe and I love, love, love to hop in. When it's warm, Mom sits on the edge and applauds my splashing efforts. We have a lot fun at that spot.

On the way home, I was bad and disobeyed Mom. I don't do that very often but I really wanted to jump in the water just once! I waited until we got to the very last spot, at Cousin Chris's dam. There wasn't any ice there and I jumped in. Mom was right. The water was freezing! I got out in a hurry, let me tell you. 

I can't wait until spring gets here!