Saturday, June 23, 2018

This little bugger was not what I expected!

I have a kitten! It turns out his name is Loki which is the name of a Norse god who got into all sorts of mischief and misadventure. Mom and Dad brought him home last night. Nooooobody slept last night but that's another story. Right now, I'm a little worried and sad. I don't think Loki likes me.

Mom says he has to settle in and get to know me. I heard her tell Dad that Loki only weighs three pounds. That must not be very much because he's a little guy. 

I guess I'm a little jealous that he can sit on Mom's lap. Dad's, too. I can't do that. I'm too big. But Mom made sure to invite me up on the loveseat with her. She didn't give Loki any chicken liver, either. She says that's all for me. 

Mom says Loki has to stay inside for a long, long time. He can't even go outside on the patio with us unless he's in a crate. Apparently, those skanky foxes could eat him! I don't think I'd like that to happen. Mom has a plan for Mr. Mummert to build Loki a cat house outside the guest room window. That way she can open the window and he can enjoy getting out in his very own screened enclosure for some fresh air. She saw the plans on Pinterest, whatever that is. 

I suppose having Loki here will be okay as long as he remembers one very important thing. 

I'm Deuce! I was here first and I knew Mom and Dad before he did. That means they loved ME first and longer. And don't you forget it, cat!

Oh, yeah. Hey Loki! when Mom starts talking about the snip-snip, I'm going to laugh at you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Is it okay to be suspicious?

I think Mom is up to something. She's been on the phone with some lady and she keeps talking about

Hey, Mom. I know what a kitty-kitty is. I remember. What gives? What did you mean when you told Dad you were approved for a fur baby?

I'm watching, Mom. I will figure it out no matter how coy you try to be with me. You might as well come straight out with it and tell me what all the whispering is about this coming Friday.

I'm Deuce. I'm a smart dog. 

Saturday, June 16, 2018

I was tricked!

I love my truck! The backseat space is all mine. I even have my own go-bag. When Mom and Dad ask if I want to go for a ride, I'm right there! They can't get my door open fast enough. Sometimes I even get to take a nap in my truck when we're not going anywhere. If I ask nicely enough, Mom will open my door and leave it open for me. I can jump in and out when I feel like it.

But last Tuesday evening, Mom tricked me.

She meant to do it, too. It was deliberate.

She asked me if I wanted to go for a ride so of course I said yes.

They took me to the vet for a shot. They KNOW I do not like needles.

I jumped right up into my spot and off we went. I didn't realize until we got there I was going to the vet. It was awful. There were a bunch of other dogs there and instead of getting to meet them, Mom and I had to sit in this little room. For the record, I have no plans to eat little hairy ugly dogs for a snack. I've never tasted a little dog, but I bet they're stringy. I bet they don't taste nearly as good as the freshly cooked chicken livers Mom has in the fridge for me.

The vet poked me with a needle, poked and pulled on my left hind leg again, and didn't even pet my head. And those Amazon girls made me get on the scales. I'm down to eighty-four pounds. I was up to eighty-seven a few months ago. I knew once the weather was better I'd be able to exercise and get svelte again.

I suppose I'll forgive Mom for tricking me. She's just trying to take good care of me and keeping my shots up-to-date helps keep me healthy. She's a good mom. 

I'm Deuce. Next time I hear the word 'ride', I'll be more careful. 

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Chipmunks are FAST!

We have chipmunks. Those little suckers are fast! They zip across my porch at about a gzillion feet
per second! Early this morning Mom and I were sitting on our private porch so she could enjoy her first cup of coffee and one of those critters ran right across my tail. My tail! It happened so fast I couldn't even move! And you know Mom laughed at me. She said I looked surprised. 

Well, yeah. Wouldn't you be surprised if a chippy ran across your tail? 

Mom says we need a cat. I agree. I like cats. I remember Shooter. He lived here when Mom adopted me and made we made a pack. Mom says he was really good at controlling the chipmunk population, and a cat keeps rabbits away, too. I don't know much about that. Rabbits are kind of fun to chase. I like the way their white tails bounce up and down when they run. It helps me keep track of them when I'm going full speed. Mom says I'll never catch one, but it's okay to chase them to the edge of the woods. That's how far I chase the deer when they come into my yard. 

Anyway, Mom says if we had a cat, the chipmunks would move back into the woods to stay safe. She says the little prey animals are smart like that. 

Now that Mom's at her computer, I think I'll lie on the porch for a while longer. There's a lot going on outside this morning. A single deer is down in the woods but he's too far away to chase. The rabbit is out eating clover and four crows are strolling down the lane like they own it. And if that skanky chippy comes back, I'm going to have a chat with him. Being a country Lab has a lot of advantages. If I lived in a town the only thing I'd have to watch is traffic. Boring. 

I hope Mom gets me a kitten soon. When she does, I'm going to be a good big brother and tell him to watch out for chipmunks so they don't get his tail. Living out in the country, we need to look out for each other and for Mom and Dad. 

I'm Deuce. It's what I do. 

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Rain is as bad as snow

I'm sooooooooooo bored. I'm bored as only a healthy, energetic Lab can be when all it seems to do is rain. Mom and Dad keep calling me a "poor baby." At least they acknowledge I'm bored. 

Dad takes me out between showers during the day. We play a little bit but the grass hides my ball. Dad complains about the grass every day. It's too wet for him to mow and this does not make him happy.

Mom will take me out in the rain. She has a big red and white umbrella. I don't like it over my head but I've learned it will keep the rain off me if I have to pee-pee and can't wait any longer to go. 

Dad had a flat tire on his power chair one day and I didn't get to play at all because Dad couldn't go out. That was a really boring day. 

I hope the rainy season ends soon so I can get a decent walk. Playing with my toys inside isn't cutting it. 

I'm Deuce. I need action!