Drat that cat!
This morning he got under Mom's bed and when I walked past, he attacked me!
I was minding my own business and WHAM!
Mom laughed so I'm not talking to her. She even took a picture of me with my head under the bed looking for Loki.
I really have to have a talk with Mom about that darn cat.
I'm Deuce. I'm a Labrador Retriever, not a pin cushion.
I have a kitten! It turns out his name is Loki which is the name of a Norse god who got into all sorts of mischief and misadventure. Mom and Dad brought him home last night. Nooooobody slept last night but that's another story. Right now, I'm a little worried and sad. I don't think Loki likes me.
Mom says he has to settle in and get to know me. I heard her tell Dad that Loki only weighs three pounds. That must not be very much because he's a little guy.
I guess I'm a little jealous that he can sit on Mom's lap. Dad's, too. I can't do that. I'm too big. But Mom made sure to invite me up on the loveseat with her. She didn't give Loki any chicken liver, either. She says that's all for me.
Mom says Loki has to stay inside for a long, long time. He can't even go outside on the patio with us unless he's in a crate. Apparently, those skanky foxes could eat him! I don't think I'd like that to happen. Mom has a plan for Mr. Mummert to build Loki a cat house outside the guest room window. That way she can open the window and he can enjoy getting out in his very own screened enclosure for some fresh air. She saw the plans on Pinterest, whatever that is.
I suppose having Loki here will be okay as long as he remembers one very important thing.
I'm Deuce! I was here first and I knew Mom and Dad before he did. That means they loved ME first and longer. And don't you forget it, cat!
Oh, yeah. Hey Loki! when Mom starts talking about the snip-snip, I'm going to laugh at you.
We have chipmunks. Those little suckers are fast! They zip across my porch at about a gzillion feet
per second! Early this morning Mom and I were sitting on our private porch so she could enjoy her first cup of coffee and one of those critters ran right across my tail. My tail! It happened so fast I couldn't even move! And you know Mom laughed at me. She said I looked surprised.
Well, yeah. Wouldn't you be surprised if a chippy ran across your tail?
Mom says we need a cat. I agree. I like cats. I remember Shooter. He lived here when Mom adopted me and made we made a pack. Mom says he was really good at controlling the chipmunk population, and a cat keeps rabbits away, too. I don't know much about that. Rabbits are kind of fun to chase. I like the way their white tails bounce up and down when they run. It helps me keep track of them when I'm going full speed. Mom says I'll never catch one, but it's okay to chase them to the edge of the woods. That's how far I chase the deer when they come into my yard.
Anyway, Mom says if we had a cat, the chipmunks would move back into the woods to stay safe. She says the little prey animals are smart like that.
Now that Mom's at her computer, I think I'll lie on the porch for a while longer. There's a lot going on outside this morning. A single deer is down in the woods but he's too far away to chase. The rabbit is out eating clover and four crows are strolling down the lane like they own it. And if that skanky chippy comes back, I'm going to have a chat with him. Being a country Lab has a lot of advantages. If I lived in a town the only thing I'd have to watch is traffic. Boring.
I hope Mom gets me a kitten soon. When she does, I'm going to be a good big brother and tell him to watch out for chipmunks so they don't get his tail. Living out in the country, we need to look out for each other and for Mom and Dad.
I'm Deuce. It's what I do.
Mom got me a little blue bunny yesterday. She was at the dollar store. She saw it and knew right away I'd love, love, love it. It's not very big, but it is blue. I like blue. I can see blue although maybe not the same way Mom sees it.
Dad was sure I'd rip the stuffing right out of the bunny but I fooled him. I haven't had a stuffed animal since I was a little guy and that's what I used to do. I'm all grown up now.
I think this was a test. I overheard Mom tell Dad a "kitty-kitty" would be bigger. (I hear EVERYTHING.) That got me pretty excited. I remember the cat we had when I was just a pup. When Mom says "kitty-kitty" I know exactly what she's talking about.
Mom thinks because I didn't rip the stuffing out of the bunny right away, I might be mature enough for us to get a kitten.
She might be right. Until then, I'll just carry the bunny around with me. It's good practice in case the kitten will let me carry him.
Mom says I shouldn't get my hopes up for that to happen.
***UPDATE from Mom
The bunny met its demise March 4th. It had a very cherished life up until the end.
I have a kitten! It turns out his name is Loki which is the name of a Norse god who got into all sorts of mischief and misadventure. Mom and Dad brought him home last night. Nooooobody slept last night but that's another story. Right now, I'm a little worried and sad. I don't think Loki likes me.
Now that Mom's at her computer, I think I'll lie on the porch for a while longer. There's a lot going on outside this morning. A single deer is down in the woods but he's too far away to chase. The rabbit is out eating clover and four crows are strolling down the lane like they own it. And if that skanky chippy comes back, I'm going to have a chat with him. Being a country Lab has a lot of advantages. If I lived in a town the only thing I'd have to watch is traffic. Boring. 
Mom got me a little blue bunny yesterday. She was at the dollar store. She saw it and knew right away I'd love, love, love it. It's not very big, but it is blue. I like blue. I can see blue although maybe not the same way Mom sees it. 