I dare you, Mom!

Mom did a good thing and got me a new Kong chew toy. The product detail said she could hide treats in it, but I know her better than that. She'll just give me... She did it! She hid biscuits in the toy! 

I can't believe she did that! Mom doesn't believe in teasing me. Well, only if we're playing but I get it then. She never teases me to be mean. Until now.

I gave here a dirty look, too. She just laughed!

According to Mom, getting the biscuits out is supposed to make me think and problem solve. This has something to do with me running into the screen, I just know it. Mom thinks I wasn't thinking when I did that, and she might be right. She thinks just because I'm almost nine, I must be slipping upstairs. Huh. Wrong, Mom!

I got those biscuits out of the ring in about two minutes! Do it again, Mom. Put a few extra biscuits in there while you're at it. I dare you! 

Deuce's Day, black Labrador Retriever, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, dog toys, smart dogs, Milk Bones, good dogs, cognition, dog Moms, a writer's life, country lifestyle

I missed all the excitement

Sometimes it's good to be the dog, and sometimes it's not. Yesterday was a "not" day. There were big goings-on in my front yard and the parents trapped me in the house. I didn't get to keep an eye on them. They heard me barking, though, you can bet on that. What happened is this -

There are a lot of trees in my yard and Mom and Dad monitor them. When branches break, the parents drag them to a brush pile and when it rains, they burn the pile. This is fine because I get to assist. We all sit in the pickup with coffee and snackies and watch the fire. Yesterday was different.

Apparently, some trees can get so big they could fall over and crush the den...er...house. Mom and Dad don't want that to happen. They called a guy called a tree trimmer to come and cut down two big maple trees that were no longer healthy.

How can trees not be healthy? I don't get it. I didn't do it, either! I don't think I ever peed on either of those trees! 

Anyway, the guy came and cut down the trees. I could hear the chainsaw and I barked. And when the big limbs hit the ground, I barked louder! And when the trunks hit the group, I bitched a fit!!!!! What were they doing out there????

FINALLY Mom let me outside so I could check it out and then I did pee on the trees. On the very top leaves, too! 

Mom calls all the mess in the front yard "carnage." I call it a good thing. It's going to take a lot of brush burning to clean it up and that means a lot of snackies for me and a few naps in my pickup. 

I'm Deuce and I know when I just hit the jackpot! 

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, Black Labrador Retriever, black Lab, country dogs, tree trimming, spoiled dogs, a writer's life, good dogs, rural lifestyle, smart dogs, dog with a blog

That's a bird of a different color!

Settle a debate for me. Mom says the strange bird on the roof is pretty, and I say NOT! You can't really see it in the picture, but trust me. That thing has beady little eyes. Like, scary beady eyes. And it stared at me and didn't blink. Mom gets some weird ideas sometimes. 

Mom told me to leave the bird alone so it could fly home. No worries, Mom. I don't want to get involved. I'm sure between Loki, the fox, and the Red-tailed hawk, the matter will be dealt with but Mom would prefer the owner come to get him instead.  

And what is a pigeon doing all the way out here? Pigeons don't live in the woods. They live in a town or in a coop. 

I'm going to ignore the pigeon, I don't care if it's descended from the dinosaurs. I'm descended from the St. John's Dog, so there! 

I'm a smart dog, and problem pigeons are above my pay grade. I'm going to find a nice cool, quiet place and take a nap while Mom and Dad are working on their computers. The parents will have to handle this one without me. 

Deuce's Day, black Labrador Retriever, pigeons, a country dog, smart dogs, Loki, a writer's life, black lives matter, Red-tailed hawk, foxes, country living, rural lifestyles

Where's mine?

 
You know, it's tough to be the dog in this house. What does a guy have to do to get a donut all to himself? 

I'm a good dog. I don't jump on people and knock them down. I don't bark too much. I never, ever pee-pee inside the den, er, house. And even with all the factual evidence in MY favor, I don't get a donut to call my own. 

Yes, Mom and Dad always give me little biteys of their donuts, but it's not the same. The dog is a second-class citizen here. I guess I should be happy I rank above the cat. 

Mom - I love donuts! You know this! I'd be so grateful if just once I could have a whole donut!

Dad - Can't you convince Mom it would be okay to give me a whole donut? 

My patience isn't infinite. I'm a dog. Sooner or later you won't be watching closely enough and I will snatch the prize.

Don't say you were never warned. 

Where's the frog at today?

Where's the frog today?

I'm a pretty smart dog. Ask Mom. She'll tell you I'm not fibbing. I learn new stuff all the time, and one of the things I've learned is that frogs are sneaky little things. It's true! Let me tell you the facts.

There is a ditch that runs along the lane so that when it rains, the water coming down from the top of the big hill doesn't make ruts Mom's car can't drive over. There's a spot where the water makes a tiny pool and a frog lives in it. Mom says a frog in that spot is a good thing because it eats bug eggs which, sounds really nasty, but I'm not a frog.

Oh, and Mom says not to worry about the frog. It's just a couple of hops over to the spring branch or the creek, so if his little pool dries up, he'll be fine. 

Anyway...I know about the frog. When Mom and Dad take me down to the creek to play in the water, I look for him. I know how to stand really still, too. Mom says I have really good focus when I want. The funny thing is, I know he's there and I still jump every time he moves! How silly is that? 

I'm Deuce! I'm a big, bad, black Labrador Retriever, for heaven's sake. I'm descended from the St. John's Dog! He's an itty bitty frog. It's not like he's bigger than me. The deer are bigger than me and I'm not jumpy over them. 

Some days the frog isn't around. Maybe he's back inside the culvert or under the water where I can't spot him. I get a little disappointed when that happens. It's a lot more fun to sneak up on him and make HIM jump.

I'll try again tomorrow. 

Writers can be sneaky

Mom does a lot of different things after she takes care of me and Dad. And Loki. Jeez, can't forget to mention that skanky cat or Mom will fuss me. One of the things Mom does is something she calls writing. That's not something I can help her with. 

When Mom is writing, I like to sleep under her desk. If she's wearing soft slippers, she'll rest her feet on me, or sometimes snuggle her bare toes beneath me. We like that. It's our thing. I like because I'll know immediately if she is leaving her desk. It's my job to keep an eye on her, you know. 

Mom's writing has been on something called a hiatus, but she's getting back to it. This week she's looking over a couple of older manuscripts that she found some mistakes in. Mom can curse like a sailor sometimes but as long as she's not slinging the f-bomb at me, we're good. 

Last night, she worked at writing while I took a nap on the bed. It rained earlier and I was bored, and a nap is a good cure for that. So I was asleep and Mom snuck out the door to our little porch without me! I did not like this. It might have been my fault because I wasn't under her desk, but I'll bet Mom did it on purpose. 

So now I have a new spot to nap - in front of the door blocking the exit. 

I'm Deuce and I'm not dumb. I got this all figured out. Mom won't get out the door without me again.

Is it okay to be suspicious?

I think Mom is up to something. She's been on the phone with some lady and she keeps talking about
kittens.

Hey, Mom. I know what a kitty-kitty is. I remember. What gives? What did you mean when you told Dad you were approved for a fur baby?

I'm watching, Mom. I will figure it out no matter how coy you try to be with me. You might as well come straight out with it and tell me what all the whispering is about this coming Friday.

I'm Deuce. I'm a smart dog. 

Can I say "I told you so?"

Yesterday was pretty interesting and not in a good way, at least at first. 

I have a really big yard to patrol. I take this job very seriously. Mom and Dad depend on me to let them know when deer are in the yard, and to keep an eye on Dad when he's outside. 

Well, he went outside WITHOUT me, so how was I supposed to accomplish that?

It's autumn and that means lots and lots and lots of leaves are everywhere! I like leaves! Leaves are cool! They fly around when I run through them! I love the crunchy sound! But too many leaves can smother the grass so Dad rides the mower around to chop them up. 

Yesterday, Dad went out to do some chopping and he left me inside. I did not like this and I liked it even less when the mower stopped running and Dad was stranded out in the middle of the yard. I could have been there for him! I could have kept him company until help arrived! 

When the mower wouldn't start, he called Mom. Mom said she tried to call a few of the cousins but no one was home so she left her job and came home to help Dad. She got me to come outside, too, which was the right thing for her to do. I needed to keep an eye on them! 

Once Mom got Dad back in his power chair and the mower rolled back in the shed, she told Dad he needed to take us to Sonic for dinner because she needed to go to the grocery store and hadn't stopped. Mom confessed she was out of dog food!

What gives here?? Okay, I know Dad needed help, but he left me inside the house. Mom really should have stopped at the store on her way home. Dad could have lasted another ten minutes. It wasn't that cold!

And why was she out of dog food? I might starve! I'm a Lab and we really like our dinner. 

But it all worked out. Dad was safe. Mom got to go to the store and got not only my dog food (and a new kind of treat), she got a turkey. And the best part is we all went to Sonic and we each had a hamburger! Mine was plain. Theirs were loaded with stuff like pickles and lettuce that I don't like. 

Dad, next time you go outside, you'd better take me with you. 

The little round red thing

I love my ball! I love it soooooo much!! I'll do anything Mom says if she offers to play ball with me. She tries to be sneaky and call the ball the "little round red thing" but I've caught on to her.

I'm Deuce. I know!

It was a beautiful autumn Saturday so Mom and Dad decided to cut down a few trees along the lane. I was worried at first. Whenever they want to play outside with power tools, I end up left inside. Today was different. This being almost two years old is really paying off!

Turns out the trees they wanted to cut down were small ones. Dad got on the John Deere and Mom used the battery-powered chainsaw. She didn't need the big Stihl for these. I don't know much about trees, but Mom said if they cut down the small maple, cherry, and poplar trees, then the little oak tree would have room to grow big and strong.

We were outside for a couple of hours. I ran around in the woods and had a good time while they worked. I know how to stay aware of which way the tractor is moving and to keep wide. When they hook a chain around a downed tree to drag it, I know to stay to the rear. I didn't know how to do that last fall.

But the best part of the day was when Mom played ball with me. I love the little round red thing.

I yielded to temptation - and got away with it

It seems I was "mischievous" last night. Mom and Dad laughed at me and I heard them say it was really Mom's fault. She accepted the responsibility and I didn't get fussed at all. 

Mom took a picture a little while ago so I could explain. And fuss her for a change. 

See my boney on the dining room table? See it lying so close to the edge I can see it? I've got long legs and a long reach. That's my boney and when I saw it on the table, I simply reached over and got it. 

Okay, so I know better than to stick my nose on the table. But Mom and Dad weren't eating. And it was my boney. I'm a smart dog. And slick, too. I didn't make a sound. 

Mom told me I got away with one, and so I did. I bet she'll never leave my boney on the edge of the table again. 

I'm Deuce. I'm a good dog. I'll get Mom trained one of these days.