Sunday, April 16, 2017

A snake is not a turtle

One day last year, when I was just a pup, Mom and I saw a turtle while we were out for a walk. It was pretty cool. Mom told me how when she was growing up she saw turtles all the time. Now - not so often.

Today, Mom looked out the window and told Dad to grab my collar and not let go. I didn't like the sound of that at all. Then Mom ran outside to see if she needed to put a bullet in the gun, and I liked the sound of that even less. 

It turns out Mom saw a big snake, and if it had been a Copperhead that near the house, she'd have killed it. A Copperhead snake is poisonous and could kill me. (I don't think I'd like that.) Anyway, it was a Black snake and Mom took a picture of it and then chased it away. 

She said Black snakes eat mice and moles, and while it might bite me if I annoy it too badly, it won't kill me. (I don't like the idea of anything biting me, especially on the nose!)

Mom said it was ready to shed its skin and I should leave it be. Shed its skin? Really? Snakes are stranger than turtles! 

I'll be on the lookout for the snake this summer. Mom says if I see it, I should bark. I can do that. 

I'm Deuce. I have the loudest, biggest, badest bark on the mountain. Everyone WILL hear me.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Riding in Mom's car

Mom and Dad really do listen to me! They were sorry they left me home alone this morning and they took me for a ride in Mom's car! I even got to stick my nose out the window before we got on the highway. 


I don't get to ride in Mom's car much. I go along all the time in Dad's pickup, but not the car. I had so much fun!  Well, I didn't like having to wear a harness and be hooked to the seatbelt, but it didn't hurt me to tolerate it. We went all the way to Clear Spring and back!

I saw cows, horses and this ugly thing Mom called the Easter Bunny. It was standing outside of Denny's Restaurant waving at everyone. I might have bad dreams about that. It didn't look like any bunny I've ever seen! It was as big as a person! 

Mom says we can go for a drive in the car again soon. I'd like that. I just hope the Easter Bunny isn't out again. Talk about something to creep out even a brave dog like me! 

I'm Deuce, and I know creepy when it waves at me. 

Dog logic

This morning Mom and Dad have to take Mom's car in for an oil change. Has it been six months already? I really wish I could go with them, but they haven't said a word about taking me along. I'll just lie in the sun and be a good dog. Maybe if they have to step over me, they'll decide I can go with them.  

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

The Before and The After

I love, love, love to play Frisbee. The thing is, I'm a little hard on the equipment. Mom gets me a supply of perfect flying discs, and I just can't help myself - I ruin them. I have quite the collection if I must say so myself. Mom took a before and after photo to show it off for me. 

It's not like I mean to do it. It's just they make a really cool snapping noise when I bend them. I have to work really hard to get it to happen, too. Like really hard. 

Besides, I only do it when... well, I'd better not blame Mom and Dad for making bad throws. They might get angry and not play with me. But I only chew the Frisbee when they make a bad throw. It's frustrating! I need to catch the Frisbee before it stops moving! Catching it in the air is best, of course, but when it rolls on its edge works, too. As long as I get to it before it stops. That's the important thing. When it stops it ruins the fun and I get frustrated. So I try to teach it a lesson. Frisbees are stupid things. 

Mom and Dad clean the old Frisbees and throw them until they just won't fly. Mom says she might try putting them in a slightly warm oven to see if she can get them to flatten out again. It sounds to me like she doesn't have a lot of hope that will work. 

She looks at me and says it's a good thing they only cost a dollar....

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Snow day!

It snowed again and this time it snowed a lot! Mom came home from work on Monday and said we'd probably have a snow day tomorrow. I didn't get it. I'd seen snow and it was no big deal. How could snow prevent Mom from going to work? 

Well, now I know! Sometimes a lot of snow can fall and build up on the ground. And it can snow for hours and hours. I'm glad Mom didn't try to drive through all that. Staying home with me and Dad was a lot better. 

Mom got up at her usual time because I'm on a schedule. I go outside to pee at six o'clock every morning. Mom took her phone along to get a video of me the first time I saw this much snow. 

It was so much fun! Mom threw the Frisbee but I didn't take it back to her right away. Digging in the deep snow was too cool. And Dad said sometimes the snow is even deeper! I can't wait! 

I knew I was being bad when Mom told me to bring her the Frisbee and I didn't. I tried to pretend I couldn't hear her but I could. Mom tried to be firm but she was laughing under her breath at me. I deserved it, though. I finally did give her the Frisbee and she put her phone away and we played for awhile. Then we both had cold feet so we went inside. 

It was fun to have Mom home all day. We watched it snow and went in and out all day to play. After it finished snowing, the wind started to blow and Mom said "no" to playing more Frisbee. That was okay because I was getting tired! I sleep really good that night. 

Mom says it'll be months and months before it snows again. I hope I remember snow until then.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

I glow in the dark!

I'm a black dog so when Mom and I go outside after dark, I disappear. Apparently, I've worried Mom a few times, so much so she got me a fancy lighted collar. 

The blue glow makes me feel prancy. When I go around the corner, I can see better, too. It mostly shows me things I'd like to pick up off the ground and taste, but Mom doesn't like me to do that. 

Anyway, Mom and I walked out the lane and she didn't have to call for me to come back at all. I went up into the thicket to see if a deer was there and she said, "I see you. Don't go any farther." So I didn't. 

Then Mom took a couple of pictures, one with flash and one without. I look like an alien dog! Pretty cool, if I do say so myself. 


Sunday, March 5, 2017

Sunday morning with Mom

It's been awhile since I've had time to blog. Mom's been really busy. Her mom fell and is in the hospital. Whatever this Alzheimer's Disease is, it makes Mom sad so I do not like it. 

Mom was up early this morning. It was my fault. I was awake and bored so I nudged at her until she got up. I guess I should not have done that. Anyway, it happened and it might have been a good thing. 

This huge flock of blackbirds landed in the trees out back. They were soooo noisy. I barked and barked but they wouldn't shut up! Mom was annoyed and told me about how when she first moved here the blackbirds were a real problem. In fact, the old empty shotgun casings I find were left here in 1981 when Uncle Dick had to come and fire the shotgun to chase the birds away. Mom remembers that so she put a bullet in the little .22 and fired a shot. Those nasty birds took off! Mom's the boss, you know. 

Dad got up after that happened and they watched some of the cooking shows. Boring. In fact, I got so bored I hopped up on the loveseat with Mom and made her pay attention to me. Dad took our picture, which I don't think Mom liked because her hair was all messy. 

Mom told me to get off her lap. She says I weigh a ton but I know better. It's only seventy-five pounds, not two thousand. I asked nicely if I really had to get down so Mom relented and allowed me to stay on her lap until she finished her coffee. Then she took me outside and we played ball until she got cold. Dad took me out and we played Frisbee and I found his old Bluetooth earpiece that he lost last summer. He was happy and told me what a good boy I am.

Of course, I already knew that. I'm Deuce! 

Monday, February 20, 2017

I'll go pee later

Mom had to go to a viewing tonight. I'm not sure what that is but I know I had to stay home with Dad. 

For the record, I don't like when Mom goes out after dark without me. 

Come to think of it, I don't like to go out after dark without Mom. 

After  Mom got home, I needed to go outside, so we went. I was sniffing around, looking for the perfect spot, when Mom told me to look for the "critters."

I didn't see any critters. All I saw were eyeballs. Lots and lots of glowing eyeballs. I told Mom to RUN and took off for the house. Did she listen to me? Nooooo. 

She laughed. I'm not speaking to her right now. 

I never did get to pee and I might just hold it until morning. Those eyeballs were spooky!

Sunday, February 19, 2017

A warm weekend in February

Mom, Dad and me have been enjoying a warm weekend. It's great to be outside in the sunshine. Sunshine means I get to play Frisbee for a long time and Mom will take me for a long walk. 

We took a walk a bit ago. Mom has a wristband gizmo that counts her steps. She took 6032 steps so I know I had to have run for 10,064. 

Mom took a short video of me and Dad playing Frisbee. We played for a long time but this is all the video Mom took. She said it was enough because I caught the Frisbee. 

Hey! I'm Deuce. If you throw the Frisbee correctly, I WILL catch it. 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Never too old

Dad says I'll never be too big to sit on his lap. 

He might be wrong. I just fit. Like, JUST fit. But as long as Dad will help keep me from sliding off, I'll never be too old to enjoy a few minutes on his lap. It makes me remember when I was a little guy. 

He really is there. Those are his hands. Dad takes really good care of me. He'll never let me fall on my nose.