I really miscalculated my trajectory

I have committed another faux pas. It's a bit more serious than muddy paws, too. It's a pretty big oops. I'm in the dog house for real this time because Mom will have to pay someone to fix my screw-up. 

In my defense, there was a deer standing right beside the patio. It's my job to chase the deer back into the woods. Mom opened the door and I launched! 

I launched in the wrong direction. 

I tried to run straight at the deer, hit a screen, and bounced back like a cartoon dog. It kinda hurt, too. Concrete is hard with you land on it. 

Anyway, Mom is not happy me. She said fixing the screen is one project she didn't want to do this year because she already has a lot on her plate. 

I'm Deuce. If Mom had something on a plate, I'd know it. Mom is typing for me and doesn't even have a plate, so maybe her saying that is some sort of pay back for ruining the screen. 

I'll have to take my punishment like a big dog. No treats for me today. 

Then again, Mom forgives me of every mistake. I bet I'll even get a ride later today because Mom wants to do some leaf peeping. 

I won't try to run through a screen again. Honest, I won't. 

Deuce's Day, black Lab, Labrador Retriever, bad dogs, deer, patio screen, leaf peeping, rural living, country lifestyle, trajectory, miscalculations

A snowy walkabout

 It snowed a lot! There is snow everywhere! I convinced Mom I had to have a walkabout so I could see who left tracks in my yard. Mom received my telepathic command (for once!) and off we went. We didn't stay out long because my paws got cold! 

Mom took a video so everyone can come along!

Deuce's Day, Labrador Retriever, black Lab, snow day, good dogs, country living, dog video, dog blog, happy dog

I want hazard pay!!!

It's a new year and the same old Sadie. 

Yep. Mom and Dad doggy-sat Sadie the Heathen again today. Did they consult with me first? Nooooo. They most certainly did not. 

It was pretty obvious Sadie was having a bad day. She wouldn't listen to Mom at all, and she usually does. When Mom says, "SIT," she means the dog's butt should hit the floor. I know it. Sadie knows it, too. But today Sadie ignored Mom. 

Mom tried to take her picture, but they all came out looking like a demon dog, which was accurate for today. 

Sadie followed Mom downstairs to the den, which is a big no-no. Loki's litter box is down there and it's off-limits to canines. Then Sadie made a grab for Loki's feeder, also a big no-no. It's a good thing Loki wasn't there when she did that. He's not one to mess around with when he's pissed off. 

Oops. I'm not supposed to say that. When he's annoyed. Don't mess with Loki when he's annoyed. 

Cousin Dave wasn't gone all that long, I'm happy to say. Things got back to normal after they left and I finally got my morning nap. 

I'm going to ask Mom and Dad for hazard pay. I want ten extra biscuits this evening. I'll be counting! 

Deuce's Day, black Lab, Labrador Retriever, rural living, dog sitting, hazard pay, good dogs, rainy days, dog treats, 

It's raining and I'm sooooo bored!

Mom is wandering around the house saying, "rain, rain go away and come again some other day."

I feel ya Mom! This is day three of rain and this dog (me) is bored out of his little black skull. And what's worse is I took all three of my balls outside and Dad won't go get them. What gives, Dad? Don't you love little Deucie any longer? 

There has to be mail down in the mailbox, but neither parent will walk me down to get it. Mom won't even put me in the car and drive down because she doesn't want my wet paws on the seat. My paws are my paws! It's not my fault! 

And this morning I had to go outside to pee-pee all by myself! Mom didn't even come along and hold the umbrella over me. I do not like rain! 

Mom is all happy because her garden is getting a good soaking and is the grass. It makes no sense to me. The grass is going to grow and she and Dad will have to mow a lot. Mom says the bees have been on the clover enough and it's time for them to head to the garden. 

Yeah, I know I'm going in there with Mom now - not! 

I guess I'll go take a nap on the bed because there is nothing else to do. A bored dog is not a happy dog, and that's me today. 

Mom's right. Rain, rain, go away!

Deuce's Day, black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, rainy days, bored dogs, a writer's life, Labrador Retriever, dog with a blog, dog whining

Is it really spring?

You know, I'm seven now so I know a few things. I know when the ground is cold and wet under my paws, it's winter. If the ground is warm and wet when I walk on it, it's summer. Well, the ground is wet and cold so it's not spring. 

I've seen daffodils before, too. Every year - every year - Mom and I walk around the yard just so she can look at them. They don't change from spring to spring, but off we go. Walking on the cold, wet ground that Mom can't feel on her paws because she has shoes. 

So today, it's February, and out we go. Mom spotted a daffodil blooming. 

It wasn't too bad, though. She took the picture and then we went back inside. My paws didn't have a chance to get cold. She must have heard me complaining under my breath! 

Deuce's Day, black Lab, Labrador Retriever, daffodils, cold paws, a country dog, good dogs, rural living, country lifestyle, a writer's life

That is NOT Loki!

SKUNK

What the hell is that smell?????

I'm not going outside. Nope. Nada. Not gonna do it.

Mom opened the door for me at about five o'clock this morning and BACK THE TRAIN UP!!! There's a SKUNK out there somewhere! I can smell him. So can Mom. 

We hustled back inside before the smell had a chance to cling to my fur. It can do that when there is a lot of moisture in the air. I don't want me to stink and neither does Mom. Even Loki, who I swear looks like a first cousin to a skunk, stayed inside this morning. Mom should have named him Pepe le Pew. 

FIRST COUSIN TO SKUNK

Seriously. Doesn't Loki look sort of skunk-ish?

I'm going to make Mom wait until daylight before I let her take me outside. Hopefully, the smell will be gone by then, and if not, I can at least see whether or not the coast is clear and pee-pee really fast. 

Mom says living in the country is fun, that it keeps us close to nature. <snort> 

Sometimes I think nature gets a little too close to us.

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, skunks, wildlife, Loki, black Labrador Retriever, a country dog, a dog's life, a writer's life, good dogs, rural living, country lifestyle

I heard what Dad said!

The truth will come out! 

I heard what Dad told Mom. He thought he was being sneaky when he whispered, but hey. Dog. I have DOG HEARING. Dad, I heard you. 

And Mom? I heard you say, "bad daddy," but you LAUGHED. You don't think he was bad at all! Why must you encourage him? 

I'm a good dog. My parents tell me all the time that I'm a good dog, so why this treatment? 

It seems that after Mom and I went to bed last night, Dad got himself a few cookies and did not bring me one! 

Mom made these cookies for all of us! Well, not Loki but only because the cat is too stupid to like cookies, but that doesn't change a thing. These are cookies without any chocolate! They're for Deucie, too! 

Really, Dad. I think my feelings are hurt. I think you need to get me TWO cookies right now to make up for doing that. 

Now, Dad, or I'll bark in your ear when you're taking a nap. 

You've been warned.

Deuce's Day, black Lab, Labrador Retriever, a writer's life, puppy parents, country living, rural lifestyle, cookies, homemade cookies, cookies without chocolate, dog with a blog

What's a bomb?

There have been some big goings-on around here lately. Mom and Dad are busy all the time and I'm feeling a bit neglected. Dad's been working in the shed at his bench, mowing grass, fixing stuff, and target shooting. Mom's been cleaning her garden, canning food (I don't like pears!), writing in her office, and killing a copperhead. Yeah, I don't like that snake part, but she did it. 

But the biggest thing that's been going on was the tree trimmer came back and cut down Mom's favorite poplar tree. That was sort of scary. Dad and I were in the house and when that tree hit the ground, Dad said it was like a bomb went off! 

Okay. What's a bomb? Have I ever had a bomb to play with? I'm Deuce and I'm pretty smart, but I don't know anything about bombs. Why haven't the parents taught me about them? What does Mom mean it's above my pay grade? They don't pay me! Maybe snackies are my pay.... Hmmm...

Anyway...

The poplar tree was huge! Dad used the Brush Crusher 4200 to move them around so he and Mom could clean up the yard. I stood beside one of them and it was taller than me! And Mom spent one whole day doing nothing but burning brush from that tree. I helped her for a little while, but it got boring so I went and took a nap on the patio. 

Now we have to do a thing called splitting firewood. I've been told I can't really help with that and I'll probably have to stay in the house. I don't like it when they do that to me, but Mom says it's so I stay safe. If I have to stay inside, I'm going to nap on the bed.

Mom says firewood will keep us warm this winter. I know how lucky that makes me. A lot of dogs don't have parents who care about them and they won't be warm. 

Yep. There's been a lot going on and I've been soooooo busy keeping up with everything. Mom and Dad look out for me and keep the snackies coming. It's a pretty good life for a boy like me. 

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, black Lab, a writer's life, Labrador Retriever, country living, rural lifestyle, firewood, poplar tree, tree trimming, fall garden

The little round red thing

I love my ball! I love it soooooo much!! I'll do anything Mom says if she offers to play ball with me. She tries to be sneaky and call the ball the "little round red thing" but I've caught on to her.

I'm Deuce. I know!

It was a beautiful autumn Saturday so Mom and Dad decided to cut down a few trees along the lane. I was worried at first. Whenever they want to play outside with power tools, I end up left inside. Today was different. This being almost two years old is really paying off!

Turns out the trees they wanted to cut down were small ones. Dad got on the John Deere and Mom used the battery-powered chainsaw. She didn't need the big Stihl for these. I don't know much about trees, but Mom said if they cut down the small maple, cherry, and poplar trees, then the little oak tree would have room to grow big and strong.

We were outside for a couple of hours. I ran around in the woods and had a good time while they worked. I know how to stay aware of which way the tractor is moving and to keep wide. When they hook a chain around a downed tree to drag it, I know to stay to the rear. I didn't know how to do that last fall.

But the best part of the day was when Mom played ball with me. I love the little round red thing.

I'm so tired of rainy weather

It's been raining for days and days and days. I'm so bored I don't know what to do with myself. And what's even worse, Mom's on vacation. If it wasn't raining, Mom would take me for long walks in the woods. She said I'm old enough now that she would take me back to the old pond. We can't go if it doesn't stop raining! 

The grass is wet when I go pee. It's so wet I slide when I catch the Frisbee or the ball. I've landed on my butt a few times because my paws slide out from under me. I do not like that. 

I went out on the porch and it's all wet. I looked up and the sky is not blue. I'm so tired of rainy days. 

I'm Deuce. I need the sunshine to be at my best.

It's all in a dog's day

It's been a busy week. Mom went to her day job office every day. I wish she could stay home with me, but she says she has to work in order to keep me in Frisbees and kibble. I like it when she can work from home. She doesn't get to do that nearly enough.

While Mom is away, Dad and I stick to our routine. I like to go back to bed with him for a little while so we can talk. Well, he talks and I listen and then we get up. Dad lets me out again if Mom reported I didn't do all my outside activities. After coffee, Dad gets dressed and we go out together to play Frisbee. Dad sits in his fancy chair and we walk out and back in the lane so I can check on everything.

Before lunch, we do Frisbee again. After lunch we Frisbee and walk. This is my third walk because Mom and I walk before she goes to her pesky day job. Then it's nap time. (Oh no! I wasn't supposed to tell Mom about our nap time!) After that, Mom comes home and it's always a surprise as to what the evening brings. We might play ball, or go for another walk, or even go check out how cold the water is in the creek. We did that last night.

I like my routine. It's good to know what the day will bring and it makes going for rides with Dad more special since they don't happen all the time. Mom says her spring vacation is coming soon and we'll do fun things like go down to the aqueduct to swim. It'll be great to have Mom home even if it will bust my routine to smithereens. That's a new word Mom used. 

Dad says this summer I'll be able to help him outside more. Last summer I was just a little guy and had to stay in my crate while he mowed and stuff. Dad says as long as I don't wander off on my own, I can hang out in the yard with him. I'm good with that.

I'm Deuce. Keeping an eye on Dad is what I do. 

We have a new office

Mom decided to move her office to the sunroom and I think it was a great idea. The sunroom has windows for me to look out and keep an eye on those skanky deer. The windows in Mom's old office were too high. I had to put my paws on the window sill to look out and Mom did not like me to do that. 

Anyway, Mom leaves the blinds up so I can stretch out in front of the door and have a good view. 

It wasn't much fun when Mom was moving furniture. She was a real bear. It must have been hard work maneuvering all that heavy awkward stuff in and out of doors. I wasn't much help at first. I got in the way and ended up in my crate for an hour. Then I understood - stay out of Mom's way when she's carrying stuff, sliding stuff, flipping stuff, and rearranging stuff. 

Another thing I really, really like is I can rest on Mom's bed and keep an eye on her. The sunroom was built on to her bedroom for her to have a private room. Last night I tried to get her to turn off the computer and come to bed, but she ignored me. So I took a nap on her pillow.

Mom says she needs to get a rug set, whatever that is, and then she'll be all settled in. Dad has to fix a piece of moulding that got broke - I did not do it.

I hope Mom likes her new office. I think we'll have a lot of fun watching all the critters and sitting on the porch. And of course writing, but I'll leave that to Mom. 

Maybe it should storm every night

It's been a really busy month. I've been doing all sorts of dog stuff - playing Frisbee, chasing my ball,
going for walks, barking at deer and stuff. Cousin Dave even brought Bella to meet me! I knew she was up on the hill - we talk back and forth a little bit - but that was the first time we met nose-to-nose. She's smaller than me, and her fur is longer, and she's pretty. Mom says I need to look in a mirror because I'm rather handsome myself. 

I didn't sleep too well last night. I heard Mom and Dad say we might get a thunderstorm. I wasn't sure what that was, but I know now. We were a snuggled down in bed - me, Mom and Dad - and all at once there was a bright light and a bang and the whole house shook! 

Well, right away I jumped up and barked. My job is to protect Mom and Dad at night. Mom woke up and told me to come lie down beside her on her pillow, that it was only a storm. I trust Mom and if she's not worried, I'm not worried. I put my head on the pillow and rolled onto my back so Mom could rub my belly. I love it when she does that! 

She whispered to me about the storm, how I was a really good boy to ignore it. I think she whispered so Dad wouldn't wake up but it tickled my ear. 

Maybe it would be okay if we got a storm every night. It would give me a reason to cuddle with Mom. I mean, I'm all grown up now. I'm the big dog on the mountain. Cuddling is for pups, right? 

Maybe it's okay during a storm and Mom is awake. After all, she needs me to keep her safe. 

A snake is not a turtle

One day last year, when I was just a pup, Mom and I saw a turtle while we were out for a walk. It was pretty cool. Mom told me how when she was growing up she saw turtles all the time. Now - not so often.

Today, Mom looked out the window and told Dad to grab my collar and not let go. I didn't like the sound of that at all. Then Mom ran outside to see if she needed to put a bullet in the gun, and I liked the sound of that even less. 

It turns out Mom saw a big snake, and if it had been a Copperhead that near the house, she would have killed it. A Copperhead snake is poisonous and could kill me. (I don't think I'd like that.) Anyway, it was a Black snake and Mom took a picture of it and then chased it away. 

She said Black snakes eat mice and moles, and while it might bite me if I annoy it too badly, it won't kill me. (I don't like the idea of anything biting me, especially on the nose!)

Mom said it was ready to shed its skin and I should leave it be. Shed its skin? Really? Snakes are stranger than turtles! 

I'll be on the lookout for the snake this summer. Mom says if I see it, I should bark. I can do that. 

I'm Deuce. I have the loudest, biggest, badest bark on the mountain. Everyone WILL hear me.

Riding in Mom's car

Mom and Dad really do listen to me! They were sorry they left me home alone this morning and they took me for a ride in Mom's car! I even got to stick my nose out the window before we got on the highway. 

IN MOM'S CAR!!!!

I don't get to ride in Mom's car much. I go along all the time in Dad's pickup, but not the car. I had so much fun!  Well, I didn't like having to wear a harness and be hooked to the seatbelt, but it didn't hurt me to tolerate it. We went all the way to Clear Spring and back!

I saw cows, horses and this ugly thing Mom called the Easter Bunny. It was standing outside of Denny's Restaurant waving at everyone. I might have bad dreams about that. It didn't look like any bunny I've ever seen! It was as big as a person! 

Mom says we can go for a drive in the car again soon. I'd like that. I just hope the Easter Bunny isn't out again. Talk about something to creep out even a brave dog like me! 

I'm Deuce, and I know creepy when it waves at me. 

Dog logic

This morning Mom and Dad have to take Mom's car in for an oil change. Has it been six months already? I really wish I could go with them, but they haven't said a word about taking me along. I'll just lie in the sun and be a good dog. Maybe if they have to step over me, they'll decide I can go with them.  

The Before and The After

I love, love, love to play Frisbee. The thing is, I'm a little hard on the equipment. Mom gets me a supply of perfect flying discs, and I just can't help myself - I ruin them. I have quite the collection if I must say so myself. Mom took a before and after photo to show it off for me. 

It's not like I mean to do it. It's just they make a really cool snapping noise when I bend them. I have to work really hard to get it to happen, too. Like really hard. 

Besides, I only do it when... well, I'd better not blame Mom and Dad for making bad throws. They might get angry and not play with me. But I only chew the Frisbee when they make a bad throw. It's frustrating! I need to catch the Frisbee before it stops moving! Catching it in the air is best, of course, but when it rolls on its edge works, too. As long as I get to it before it stops. That's the important thing. When it stops it ruins the fun and I get pissy...er... frustrated. So I try to teach it a lesson. Frisbees are stupid things. 

Mom and Dad clean the old Frisbees and throw them until they just won't fly. Mom says she might try putting them in a slightly warm oven to see if she can get them to flatten out again. It sounds to me like she doesn't have a lot of hope that will work. 

She looks at me and says it's a good thing they only cost a dollar....

Snow day!

It snowed again and this time it snowed a lot! Mom came home from work on Monday and said we'd probably have a snow day tomorrow. I didn't get it. I'd seen snow and it was no big deal. How could snow prevent Mom from going to work? 

Well, now I know! Sometimes a lot of snow can fall and build up on the ground. And it can snow for hours and hours. I'm glad Mom didn't try to drive through all that. Staying home with me and Dad was a lot better. 

Mom got up at her usual time because I'm on a schedule. I go outside to pee at six o'clock every morning. Mom took her phone along to get a video of me the first time I saw this much snow. 

It was so much fun! Mom threw the Frisbee but I didn't take it back to her right away. Digging in the deep snow was too cool. And Dad said sometimes the snow is even deeper! I can't wait! 

I knew I was being bad when Mom told me to bring her the Frisbee and I didn't. I tried to pretend I couldn't hear her but I could. Mom tried to be firm but she was laughing under her breath at me. I deserved it, though. I finally did give her the Frisbee and she put her phone away and we played for awhile. Then we both had cold feet so we went inside. 

It was fun to have Mom home all day. We watched it snow and went in and out all day to play. After it finished snowing, the wind started to blow and Mom said "no" to playing more Frisbee. That was okay because I was getting tired! I slept really good that night. 

Mom says it'll be months and months before it snows again. I hope I remember snow until then. 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZZPvS92dFQ&t=12s

I glow in the dark!

I'm a black dog so when Mom and I go outside after dark, I disappear. Apparently, I've worried Mom a few times, so much so she got me a fancy lighted collar. 

The blue glow makes me feel prancy. When I go around the corner, I can see better, too. It mostly shows me things I'd like to pick up off the ground and taste, but Mom doesn't like me to do that. 

Anyway, Mom and I walked out the lane and she didn't have to call for me to come back at all. I went up into the thicket to see if a deer was there and she said, "I see you. Don't go any farther." So I didn't. 

Then Mom took a couple of pictures, one with flash and one without. I look like an alien dog! Pretty cool, if I do say so myself. 

 

Sunday morning with Mom

It's been awhile since I've had time to blog. Mom's been really busy. Her mom fell and is in the hospital. Whatever this Alzheimer's Disease is, it makes Mom sad so I do not like it. 

Mom was up early this morning. It was my fault. I was awake and bored so I nudged at her until she got up. I guess I should not have done that. Anyway, it happened and it might have been a good thing. 

This huge flock of blackbirds landed in the trees out back. They were soooo noisy. I barked and barked but they wouldn't shut up! Mom was annoyed and told me about how when she first moved here the blackbirds were a real problem. In fact, the old empty shotgun casings I find were left here in 1981 when Uncle Dick had to come and fire the shotgun to chase the birds away. Mom remembers that so she put a bullet in the little .22 and fired a shot. Those nasty birds took off! Mom's the boss, you know. 

Dad got up after that happened and they watched some of the cooking shows. Boring. In fact, I got so bored I hopped up on the loveseat with Mom and made her pay attention to me. Dad took our picture, which I don't think Mom liked because her hair was all messy. 

Mom told me to get off her lap. She says I weigh a ton but I know better. It's only seventy-five pounds, not two thousand. I asked nicely if I really had to get down so Mom relented and allowed me to stay on her lap until she finished her coffee. Then she took me outside and we played ball until she got cold. Dad took me out and we played Frisbee and I found his old Bluetooth earpiece that he lost last summer. He was happy and told me what a good boy I am.

Of course, I already knew that. I'm Deuce!