And she did it anyway

Sometimes a guy just likes to sneak off in the middle of the day and snap a nap. Like today. Mom was canning cherries - BORING! Why won't she can steak? That would be so much better! Anyway, Mom was busy in the kitchen, so I put myself down for a nap. 

I always keep an ear tuned in on her when I nap. She has this nasty habit of sneaking out the patio door without me, so being a light sleeper, I listen. Well, I must have really dozed off because I rolled over and Mom was on the bed with me. And do you know what she asked me? Get this! She asked me what I was doing.

Seriously? Wasn't it obvious????????

Then to really be insulting, she tapped me on the shoulder. When I looked up to see what she wanted, she took my picture. 

She KNOWS I hate it when she does that. 

Lucky for me, I'm fast. I turned my face away in the nick of time. 

I bested her this time, but I know she'll get me next time. She knows how to be sneaky. 

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, black Labrador Retriever, country dogs, lazy dogs, rural living, spoiled dogs, black Lab, sneaky Labrador Retriever, a writer's life

I need a bigger pool!

When I was a little guy, I had a pool. I loved it! It was perfect, and I always wondered what happened to it. Mom's been getting in her pool and she won't let me get in with her. I don't think that's fair. So I telepathically asked Mom what happened to my old pool - and she must have heard me! She found my old pool!

I must confess it's a bit of a disappointment. I remembered it as being a lot bigger. And deeper. I didn't know pools could shrink but this one sure did. I can barely get my toes wet!

Well, Mom and Dad discussed it and I may be getting a bigger pool. This is a good thing! What's not a good thing is that Mom thinks fifty bucks is a lot to spend on a pool for me and she might be correct. I mean, I really could decide I don't like the new pool. 

But I need something bigger than my puppy pool! I'm not really a puppy any longer! I'm all grown up! 

I haven't heard Mom say what she's going to do about the situation. I sure hope it's a good surprise for little Deucie! 

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, black Labs, Labrador Retrievers, rural living, spoiled dogs, a writer's life, dog pools, wading pools for dogs, good dogs

I need a sidecar!

Sometimes being a dog feels like being a second-class citizen. Mom and Dad try to keep me happy and well-fed, but there are days that is not enough. Take for example those days one of the parents is working with the John Deere 1023. 

I'm allowed to be outside most of the time when Mom and Dad are working. I know to stay out of the way of the tractor. I'm a smart dog and I learn stuff! But it would be sooooo much better if I could ride on the tractor, too!

I love to go for rides! Riding is fun! When I ride along to places I have the back seat all to myself! And best of all, LOKI does NOT get to go along. Stupid cat. 

Look at that face! Don't tell me it doesn't make you feel guilty. I've cultivated that look for over seven years and it has served me well. 

So here's my suggestion to the parents - get a sidecar for the tractor. I mean, come on! Dad's pretty smart. He can figure out how to make one. Mom's got deep pockets. She can fund it. Think of how little Deucie will feel when he can ride on the tractor. He'll be a very happy Deucie! 

C'mon, folks. How difficult can it be to grant a good dog's wish? 

***(Mom to Deuce: Nice try, baby dog, but that's not going to happen.)***

Deuce's Day, black Labrador Retriever, John Deere 1023, country dogs, rural living, a writer's life, a Lab's life, spoiled dogs, good dogs

I missed all the excitement

Sometimes it's good to be the dog, and sometimes it's not. Yesterday was a "not" day. There were big goings-on in my front yard and the parents trapped me in the house. I didn't get to keep an eye on them. They heard me barking, though, you can bet on that. What happened is this -

There are a lot of trees in my yard and Mom and Dad monitor them. When branches break, the parents drag them to a brush pile and when it rains, they burn the pile. This is fine because I get to assist. We all sit in the pickup with coffee and snackies and watch the fire. Yesterday was different.

Apparently, some trees can get so big they could fall over and crush the den...er...house. Mom and Dad don't want that to happen. They called a guy called a tree trimmer to come and cut down two big maple trees that were no longer healthy.

How can trees not be healthy? I don't get it. I didn't do it, either! I don't think I ever peed on either of those trees! 

Anyway, the guy came and cut down the trees. I could hear the chainsaw and I barked. And when the big limbs hit the ground, I barked louder! And when the trunks hit the group, I bitched a fit!!!!! What were they doing out there????

FINALLY Mom let me outside so I could check it out and then I did pee on the trees. On the very top leaves, too! 

Mom calls all the mess in the front yard "carnage." I call it a good thing. It's going to take a lot of brush burning to clean it up and that means a lot of snackies for me and a few naps in my pickup. 

I'm Deuce and I know when I just hit the jackpot! 

Deuce's Day, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce, Black Labrador Retriever, black Lab, country dogs, tree trimming, spoiled dogs, a writer's life, good dogs, rural lifestyle, smart dogs, dog with a blog

Double for pancakes!

 

Mom. Dad.

Remember when I told you I'd snatch a donut one day? A whole donut? All for me! Well, it goes double for a stack of pancakes.

Pancakes! I love pancakes!

What do you mean I had a whole pancake with butter on it? I do not remember that. 

You'd better keep an eye on your plate.

Don't say you weren't warned. 

Mom has a dealer?

Last night after we went to bed, Mom told me I should be a happy dog because we now have a dealer. 

Huh?

I watch television with Dad and I thought having a dealer was a bad thing, so why was Mom happy?

It turns out Mom has a new BEEF dealer and has put her name in for a quarter of beef next year. 

BEEF? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE BEEF! STEAK IS BEEF! Oh, Mom loves me so much!!!

Then again, it will be about a year until we get it. A year. That's a long time. I'll be seven years old by then. What if my teeth are gone? What if I forget how delicious steak is? A lot of things can happen in a year. I think it would be better if we have steak NOW. 

What do ya say, Mom? Can we have steak this weekend? Maybe steak and a chuck roast? Have I ever had a rump round? I see it on that picture and it looks like something I would love, love, love. 

I'm Deuce. Don't think for a moment I'm going to forget about this. 

 

Houston, we have a problem

It started out like any other Saturday morning. Mom and I got up around six, and I went out to do all my outside activities. Mom fixed a cup of coffee, and we trotted back to her office.

And that's when it happened. 

Mom sat in her chair and I sat right in front of her like the good dog I am and batted my eyelashes at her. Then I offered her my paw. This ALWAYS gets me snackies. 

Not today.

The jar was empty. 

That's right, folks. The jar was empty. Mom let the treat jar in the office get empty. 

I know I trained her better than that. And instead of immediately going to remedy the situation, she checked her email! I did not like this at all. So I stared at her and tried to send her a telepathic message, which she didn't get. Now she's writing my blog while I sit here starving. 

That right. STARVING. 

No, I'm not being melodramatic. I want my morning snackies. 

Houston, we have a problem...........

I'm bushed!

What a day we had! I'm bushed. All I want to do is go to bed but Mom says we should blog first. I guess I can stay awake for another ten minutes. I mean, I don't really tell time but Mom said ten minutes so I'm going go with that. 

The day started out a little slow. We didn't get up until almost eight o'clock this morning. That's late for me and Mom. So we went outside so I could do all my outside activities, and then Mom and Dad had coffee and we had breakfast. I love, love, love sausage casserole! I mean - sausage! What's not to love?

So Dad checked the weather and we decided it was a good day to burn the brush pile. This can be sort of boring for me. Mom and Dad are really busy to get the fire going, and once it is, they just sit on the John Deere 1023E and the JD 370 and watch it burn. Boring. 

But not today! Mom got one of my squeaky balls out of the basket and let me take it outside! I never get to take toys outside, so this was really cool. I made that ball squeal! Then Dad played ball with me for a little while. Heck, I rolled in the leaves and then rolled some more. Then played ball again. 

And then we had Sloppy Joe's for supper! Hamburger! What's not to love??

What a day! Now it's time to go to bed and I don't know if I have the energy to jump up onto the bed. I'm really knackered. Maybe I can convince Mom to set the ramp up for me tonight. It's a little wimpy of me, but I don't care.

So how about it, Mom? I was a good dog today. Help me up onto the bed? 

Pizza time!

I'm a pretty smart fellow. I know a lot of words and one of them is "pizza." So when Mom says it's pizza for dinner, I'm right there! 

Usually, if we have pizza it's on Thursday night or Saturday afternoon, but Mom was tired this evening. 

I'm not sure what the best part of the pizza is. Well, I DO, but I never get a whole slice. I get bits and bites but I'll take it. I love pepperoni! Sausage, too! And the crust! The crust is best when it crunches. 

I was waiting for Dad to give me a bite when Mom took my picture. Notice how nice and polite I am while I patiently wait for crumbs. I don't jump up or paw at Dad. I KNOW he's going to give me bites because Dad takes care of me that way. Mom does, too. 

I'm Deuce, and I'm a good dog for pizza. 

I don't like ramps

I haven't felt like talking for a while. My leg bothers me. The medicine helps some, but I can't do everything I want to do and that makes me mopey. 

Mom got me a ramp and I don't like it much. She meant well. She thought it would help me get on the bed at night. Mom likes me to sleep at the foot of the bed, and I like it, too. It's my spot at night. I can be close and watch over her and see out the window at the same time.

Anyway, I do not like the ramp. Mom is not happy with me that I won't use it. Last night, Mom and Dad ganged up on me and I had no choice but to walk up the ramp. 

The funny thing is, I go up the ramp Cousin Dave built onto the front porch without any problems. I use this new ramp to get into my pickup so I can go for a ride. 

I guess the thing is, I like it when Mom helps me onto the bed. It makes me remember when I was a little guy and she carried me. I'm a lot bigger now and I weigh eighty-three pounds. Mom can barely give me a boost onto the bed. 

Even after I have surgery, I won't be able to jump for a long time. I need to dog-up and get over myself and use the ramp. 

It's New Year's Eve and I'm quivering already!

Today is something called New Year's Eve. I remember last year when this happened. It was really difficult to get a good night's sleep. People around here went crazy! Shooting shotguns and firecrackers and blowing car horns. 

It was bad enough Mom and Dad stayed up so late. I'm used to being in bed with Mom around ten o'clock for her reading time. This staying up past midnight makes me yawn. It sounds like it's going to happen again tonight.

But there's really good news, too! I saw Mom put two steaks in the fridge. I love steak! I love steak almost as much as giblets! I get steak four times a year! 

All I need to do is cozy up to the dining room table between Mom and Dad, sit like the good dog I am, and wait for the steak! And if I sit up and be "handsome," I'll get even more. Mom calls me a beggar when I do that but I think she secretly likes it because it always makes her laugh. 

And then tomorrow we're having pork! 

I love New Year's! I'm quivering already! 

I just hope I don't start to drool before the food is on the table. 

I'm a lucky dog

I'm a really lucky dog. Mom and Dad wanted me before they even met me. Mom says the way things fell into place for them to find me means we were meant to be together. 

I have a crate I only sleep in when I want to, although sometimes when company comes I have to go inside and wait until everyone is sitting down to greet them. That's difficult. I don't have a lot of patience, but I'm Deuce! I can do it. Mom fusses about my crate. Well, it's all my stuff on top of it that bugs her, but I NEED my stuff. 

Dad's a little different. Dad doesn't fuss about much. In fact, he spoils me worse than Mom does. Dad lets drink from his water bottle, which makes Mom cringe. 

I don't get it. I give Mom kisses. What's the difference? 

Dad and I are home all day while Mom works so we get out a lot. His chair can go four miles per hour but I'm still a lot faster. We go in and out the lane a couple times a day, even when it rains. We love getting outside in the fresh air. We play Frisbee and ball a lot, but not in the rain. 

Mom keeps my treats in sealable jars on the kitchen island. Dad keeps a stash for me in the stand beside his chair. I can hear the drawer handle jiggle from anywhere in the house. 

I love riding in Dad's new pickup and he takes me with him almost everywhere he goes. Except when he has to go to a doctor. I have to stay home but I don't have to stay in my crate. I can sleep on the couch when he's gone. Mom put a special quilted cover down for me. Mom says I'm a money pit but I'm worth it. 

I saw on television that this is the time of year to be grateful for things called blessings. I think that means to be aware of the people who love me. Mom and Dad love me a lot. I'm a very lucky dog. 

The best thing about Thanksgiving is GIBLETS!!!!

Thanksgiving has just become my favorite holiday!

I'd heard Mom and Dad talking about Thanksgiving so I knew it had something to do with food. Lots and lots of food. I love food! I have a new favorite food! But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Monday morning, Mom got the turkey she bought out of the freezer and put it in the refrigerator. I knew it was in there, too. Yesterday morning, Mom got the turkey out and did a bunch of stuff to it. I didn't see it all because I was napping with Dad. By the time Dad and I got up, I could really smell turkey roasting. I love the smell of roasting turkey! 

Then Mom put some broth over my breakfast and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Then she asked me if I wanted a giblet. I didn't have a clue what a giblet was, but I figured if Mom cooked it special for me it had to be good. 

Then she gave it to me and I KNEW I'd died and gone to heaven! I love giblets! Giblets are the best! I want giblets every day! I'm probably going to dream about giblets from now on!

Mom has the giblets in a little bowl. She cut them up into little pieces for me. I knew they were on the counter. I could smell them. Every time Mom got up to do something, I watched her with my X-ray vision. I see all and miss nothing. My telepathy must not be too good, though. I tried and tried to send a message to her to give me more but she put the bowl in the fridge. That was a real bummer. 

I won't give up trying to convince her to give them all to me, not until I know the bowl is empty.

I'm Deuce. I'm going to stare at Mom until she cooperates. 

What's an eclipse?

Mom and Dad talked about something called an eclipse for a couple of days. I didn't get it. The sun and the moon do their things. The sun shines and I wake up so I can play and eat. The moon comes up, it's bedtime, and Mom and I go to bed. But parents are a little crazy sometimes and they seemed to think the moon passing between the sun and the earth was a big deal. 

The big deal for me was Mom came home to spend the afternoon with me and Dad. She fixed sandwiches to eat on the porch and that was a good thing. Like, really good. I love ham and cheese! 

While Mom and Dad sat outside, I snoozed inside Mom's office. She left the door open so I could go in and out through my fancy screen, but the deck boards were a little hot for my paws. Inside was better. 

Everything was normal for awhile. The nutsy squirrels were running around, the birds were singing. I even heard a hawk. But then it got really quiet. I didn't hear anything except the rooster who lives down the road. Mom and Dad talked but they almost whispered. It looked sorta different for being in the middle of the day. I thought about coaxing Mom to play Frisbee in case I had my times mixed up and it would be bedtime soon, but then everything went back to normal. 

Dad said it was all over and he was ready to go back inside where it was cooler. Mom said okay and they came inside with me. 

I don't guess I'll ever understand the excitement about an eclipse. Mom says it won't happen again in my lifetime so I'm really glad we got to share it as a pack. 

Never too old

Dad says I'll never be too big to sit on his lap. 

He might be wrong. I just fit. Like, JUST fit. But as long as Dad will help keep me from sliding off, I'll never be too old to enjoy a few minutes on his lap. It makes me remember when I was a little guy. 

He really is there. Those are his hands. Dad takes really good care of me. He'll never let me fall on my nose.

Pumpkin & Peanut Butter - YUM YUM!

I'm getting to be one seriously spoiled puppy. Mom says I may be the last dog she ever has, so spoiling me is okay. Yesterday, she was doing a lot of cooking for the freezer and she didn't forget me.

I don't really understand why she made all that stuff to eat later, but I guess she knows what she's doing. 

I'm a Labrador Retriever. I say eat now! 

Mom bought a pumpkin that she chopped into smaller pieces. Then she put the smaller pieces in the oven to roast. When the pieces cooled, she made pumpkin puree. 

Pumpkin puree is good. Like, really good. Mom is pretty smart so she mixed about 2 cups of the pumpkin puree with a big scoop of peanut butter, added a little splash of milk and some honey, and made me pumpkin and peanut butter frozen treats! I love, love, love frozen treats! 

I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! I got to lick the bowl! And the spatula! Then last night, before bedtime, Mom gave me one of the biscuits. It wasn't quite frozen solid, but it was soooo good. Dad even tasted it before I got it. He said he could see why I'd like it, but he'd stick with pumpkin pie. 

So now I have more questions. What's pumpkin pie and can I eat it?  

A lesson in life

I've been a little sad the past couple of days. Mom and Dad took the cat to the vet. I didn't see him when they brought him home, but Mom explained they buried him up on the hill beside Jett, Callahan and Taz. Mom told me not to go up there and I think I'll listen to her on this one.

Mom told me I'd be the last dog to go on the hill. I wasn't too sure what she meant at the time, but she was sad when she told me. So I've been listening closely to Mom and Dad talk, and I think I have it figured out. 

I know that one day I'll get old, and I'll be tired, and it'll be time for me to go. Dogs know these things and we know it's ok. Mom's have a hard time with it. I think cats must get old and tired, too. I know Shooter was old. He told me in no uncertain terms he was too old to take any puppy nonsense from me. 

Maybe I should have been nicer when he slept in my puppy daybed. Mom said he wasn't hurting a thing by taking a nap in it when I wasn't using it, but I barked at him anyway. 

I think Shooter was ready to go, and Mom and Dad made sure it was easy for him. They said he's beside his best friend, Jett, who I never met. They say Callahan and Taz were buddies, too. 

Mom promised as soon as I'm done growing and know how to be 'easy' I can get a kitten of my own. I think Mom will be over being sad about Shooter by then. Having my own cat will be a big responsibility. It'll be up to me whether or not we're going to be friends because I'll be the older, bigger one. 

I think I can do it because I'm Deuce! I'm a good dog!

Is quizzical the same as good?

Mom was at her desk making strange sounds. Right away I went to her to see why. Turns out she found pups in her computer. 

What the hell?????  How'd they get in there, and more importantly, what did she do with them?? What does it mean that she deleted them? Maybe I don't want to know. 

Mom said I had a quizzical expression on my face. What's that mean? 

Is that as good as handsome? She tells me I'm handsome all the time. 

Now she's ordering me a whole case of training treats. Apparently she thinks I need a lot of training. Really? 

I'm Deuce! I'm a good boy!

All by myself?

 
Another big night! Not only did I start Super Puppy class, I got to ride in the back seat of Dad's pickup all by myself!! 

I wasn't sure I'd like being back there alone, but I had room to stretch out so I guess it was okay. 

Mom says I'm getting too big to sit on her lap. She says I'm starting to look like a miniature Lab and not a little puppy. 

Super Puppy class was fun! I got to run through tunnels, weave in and out of the cones, and jump some hurdles.  I was so busy I didn't get to make friends with everyone, but I like Eli and he likes me. 

Mom says we'll go back next week. I sure hope we do! On the way home, I was so tired I slept on Mom's lap. So maybe I'm not growing too fast, at least not yet. 

The cat did it?

Busted again. 

Mom went to take a shower and found my ball. I didn't mean to leave it there, but I forgot to go back and get it. Now she knows I was in there trying to figure out how to get the water to come out. 

For about a second I thought I could blame that nasty cat, but Mom's too smart for that. I mean, I looked at Shooter and everything, but Mom stared me down and shook her head. 

Anyway, Mom gave me the ball and said my 'day is coming snip snip'. I wonder what she means by that? 

She also warned me about leaving the ball where it might cause Dad to fall. The shower is dangerous enough for him. I don't want to do anything to hurt Dad. He feeds me when Mom isn't home. 

I guess I'd better pay attention to her on this one. No balls in the shower.